Xenosaga Episode 1: Bound
by XenoMark
Summary: Sequel to Warm KOSMOS must decide whether her love for Shion is real, otherwise KOSMOS may lose herself to herself. ShoujoAi plz rr, no flames WARNING: Contains adult themes such as rape. COMPLETE
1. I Feel a Chill

Disclaimer: I don't own Xenosaga or any of the characters depicted within, they all belong to Monolith Software, so none of you guys with the suits better sue me. I'm just borrowing the characters and the such for my own amusement (or in some cases in this fic, torture).

  
  


Author's Note: Welcome readers to "Xenosaga Episode 1: Bound," the sequel to "Warm." For all those who haven't read "Warm," it isn't a requirement to understand the events in "Bound," this is more of a stand-alone story. Also, this story is shoujo-ai (female-female romance, KOS-MOS and Shion in this case), so if you're not into that kind of stuff, read something else. Unlike "Warm," however, there are two key differences. One is that the story is now told in KOS-MOS's POV instead of Shion's, and as a result, KOS-MOS will be out-of-character for the sake of the story. The other key difference is that this story is mostly angst, meaning there is hardly a comedic moment, nearly everything will be depressing later on. Themes such as religion, sex, and rape will appear as the story unfolds, and thus, the fanfiction.net of this story will have numerous scenes and such edited or removed for the sake of the "No NC-17" rule. The uncut version will be found on www.shoujo-ai.com under my other pen name "cbman." I will tell what points are edited and the such at the beginning of each chapter, but since this is the first chapter, there will be no difference between the two (although this first chapter is fairly slow). With that said, I present to you readers the sequel to "Warm," "Bound."

  
  


Chapter 1: I Feel a Chill

  
  


My skin begins to rise with the pluck of her lips, my breath barely escaping my lips as a stream escapes her tongue.

"More...," I beg in almost a whisper.

Her fingers stroke against my cheek once again, only to stop at the base of my chin. They take hold of it firmly, yet lightly, tilting my face toward hers. I am too immersed in her touch to look at her, shutting my eyes so I can taste the full passion of her kiss. Her mouth begins to press against mine and our tongues begin to bicker. They wrestle one another over and over again, their sweat flooding the crevices of our mouths. Our tongues tap once more before giving away as a stream of the nectar connects them for a second more.

"So delicate, so sweet," she barely breathes onto my lips.

"More," I plead, taking her hand and bringing it toward my heart, "more..."

Her mouth presses against mine once more, but this time only for a mere second. My body is left cold with the release of her lips, and it begins to shiver. Her hand begins to move, sliding downward near my heart. I cannot help but take in a gasp as she brushes my breast, but a cry cannot help but escape from my mouth as her hold tightens. I cannot ignore the bliss her touch gives me, but I still want her to do more. Taking what little strength I have left from the feel of ecstacy, my fingers take hold of the golden zipper on my uniform.

"You are eager, KOS-MOS," she tells me, "very eager..."

I cannot help but open my eyes now, turning to my love's rectangle-shaped goggles. I stare at them for a moment, only to push her away a moment after.

'This isn't right,' I realize as I look closer at the impersonator of my love.

How I could have mistaken this individual for Shion, I do not know; their appearances are very different. A majority of this person's attire is skin, though there are parts of her body that is barely clothed. A collar is worn around her neck, connecting to pieces of silver that travel downward and barely cover her breasts. The area between her legs is also barely clothed, again covered by a metallic material. High-heeled boots cover up to her ankles just as black leather gloves barely cover her palms, but not her fingers. Her dull blue hair is uneven, yet long, growing passed her lower back. Red rectangles are found on the base of her limbs, disappearing for a moment as her arms and legs bend. Her face is cold, as blank as a starless night. I cannot see her eyes, however, as they are blocked from view by her rectangular shaped goggles that connect to a band on her forehead.

"I do not understand," she says in a monotone voice, "what isn't right? Tell me."

Her hands and feet suddenly become flat with the surface, but her face still looking forward with a monotone expression. My body begins to creep backward, the crook of my arm keeping my uniform from falling to the floor. She begins to advance forward, all her limbs moving across the floor so naturally. I cannot help but step back once more, my body beginning to turn in the other direction. I can hear the ground behind me beginning to crumble as the area begins to shake. My steps become more rapid, the wind starting to sting against my skin. The earth shakes more violently now, the crashing growing louder with ever second. I try to run faster and she does the same. For a moment, everything becomes calm, until a gust of wind suddenly blows from behind me. I turn to where the blast had flowed, only to find that...creature. She gets ready to pounce one more, and I cannot help but try to flee in the other direction once more. It is no use as I find the earth pressing against my body and another force on my back.

"You were enjoying everything until you opened your eyes," she says, bringing her lips to my ear.

"Stop it!" I order.

I shield my vision once more, returning to the world of darkness. Though my eyes have brought me elsewhere, my ears remain in reality. I hear the fabric of my uniform tearing in an instant, the rag forcefully being pried from my arm in the next. An arm wraps around my waist afterward, it's hand traveling upward toward my collar. Another arm suddenly crawl down my body, this one wrapping around my waist. This one's hand begins to move, traveling in the opposite direction of its sister.

"Please, stop...," I beg.

"They say that 'lust' is a sin," she tells me, "but 'love' is highly regarded to Man as the language of one's heart and soul. What is the difference, KOS-MOS, can you tell me? Can you show me?"

"Stop it...," the water in my eyes can no longer remain in my pupils. "Stop it!"

That is when I wake up from the nightmare, finding myself harnessed to the arms of another. My body is heavy, my body drenched in a translucent liquid, and my skin cold. My chest heaves heavily, only to settle a moment later as I realize I am in the arms of safety. I begin to relax once more upon my realization, returning my head to the shoulder of my love.

'A dream,' I assure myself, 'just a dream.'

How long has it been since we have been lying here, one day, two? It doesn't matter how long we've stayed here, we will always be here. Even if we were to leave this very spot, our love will always blossom here. In the blizzards of winter, in the sunshine of the summer, it doesn't matter, our love will always be here. I would not have it any other way, lying here with her. Shion, my Shion.

She continues to cradle me in her arms even in her sleep, her hold as tight as ever. The sound of her heart echoes just before my ear, its melody making my lips curl and assuring me everything will be okay. The winds around seem to grow colder, but neither of us flinches. Her body pressing against mine and mine against hers, it's all we need to stay warm. 

Warm..., Shion said I was warm. My lips, my heart, my body, all of it, warm. A machine such as myself, am I even capable of creating such warmth? Is a weapon such as myself even able to bring joy to a single creature's life? I do not know, but I do know this. I know that my lips can't help but curl around her presence, my knees feel weak when she is near, and my body feels as if it were being warmed by steam. It sounds silly, perhaps even incomprehensible, but I love her.

"Mm...," my cheek can't help but sink further toward her heart.

My hand begins to crawl upward, toward her shoulder, my fingers curling as it finds its flat edge. Her lips press against my forehead again as my fingers slide down her arm, and again, my body begins to melt with its touch.

A humming noise begins to enter my ear after her kiss, the source coming from behind us. It is probably the others, searching for the two of us. Neither of us makes an attempt to move as we continue to sit here in each other's arms, but another's hand suddenly falls upon my shoulder.

"Chief? KOS-MOS?"

It is the voice of Allen, the second benefactor who was responsible for my design. With the sound of his voice, my lover's arms begin to shift away from my heart, rising to her face and then rubbing her eyes. A chill begins to creep across my body now that I am free from her embrace, but I try not to show my disappointment by keeping my face blank.

"Allen?" my love looks at her co-worker confused.

"Chief, you've been up here for almost a day now, are you feeling all right?" he asks as he helps her to her feet.

"Has it really been a day?" she asks, turning to the newly rising sun.

"What have you been doing up here?" he asks as I return to my feet on my own.

"Thinking," she answers, returning to her feet.

"Thinking, Chief?"

"About many things," she continues, "about what's happened; about the Woglinde, about Nephilim, about Proto Merkabah, and...," the gaze of her emerald eyes turns toward me, "about KOS-MOS."

"KOS-MOS?" her co-worker turns toward me for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I can't blame you after all that's happened lately. It sure doesn't feel like a month since she was activated, I'm sure Togashi and the others would be proud knowing the results of their hard work."

"KOS-MOS," my love begins to approach me, "how are you feeling, you've been very quiet."

"I'm fine," I tell her, pushing back the remaining images of my dream.

"That's good," she smiles. "Allen, can you go on ahead of us, please?" she returns to her co-worker.

"Uh... yeah, sure."

The man takes very little time to return to the elevator, returning to the deck in the Elsa. I turn my attention back to Shion, who continues to smile at me. I return the smile with my own, and she places her arm around my shoulder.

"We've definitely made some progress, haven't we?" she brings up.

"Progress?"

"You normally answer with 'all systems are normal' if nothing's wrong."

"I apologize, I'll be careful about what I say from now on."

She begins to laugh suddenly with her arms crossing and taking hold of her sides, just as she did during the Encephalon test a month ago. Human sense of humor, it always comes up at such odd times, I do not understand it.

"No, don't worry about it," she assures me, "it's nothing you have to apologize over, I'm just pointing it out."

"I see," I nod.

"Well then, shall we get going?" she begins to head toward the cargo elevator.

As I begin to step forward, a sudden chill crawls up my spine. My body becomes paralyzed and my breath short. A brush suddenly falls upon my shoulders, as if fingers were wrapping around them. My pupils turn to the edge of my eyes so that they can try and find the source of the icy touch, but they find nothing but clouds and the sun.

"KOS-MOS, is something wrong?" my love's voice returns me to reality.

"No," I lie.

I approach the elevator after without looking back. As the lift begins to return us to the ship, another jolt shoots through my body, starting with my left arm. I turn to the source with my entire head this time to find Shion's cheek snuggling against my shoulder. I breath a sigh of relief afterward and begin stroking her hair.

'It was just a dream,' I assure myself once more, 'nothing more, just a dream...'

  
  


"Here's your tea," I inform the captain as I hand him a glass of piping hot water and herb.

"Thanks," the captain takes the drink from my tray.

Serving food and drinks while the others eat, it's what I usually do during their meals. It's quite a simple task, and yet, Shion tells me that teenagers find a job such as this a hassle, I never understood why. Humans, such complex individuals, I don't understand them, although I do try my best. I think I am beginning to understand them though through Shion, understanding the joys of happiness, the depression of sadness, and the warmth of love. Although I must ask myself this, "Do I really understand when I cannot use words to define any of these subjects?"

"You're always a busy one," the silver-haired boy's catches my attention.

"I am simply following my programming of being courteous," I inform the boy as I place the tray with the remaining food on the bar counter.

"You're funny, KOS-MOS," I look behind the silver-haired boy to find the pink-haired realian laughing. "Come on, KOS-MOS, can you take things easy for now?" MOMO changes the subject.

"Yeah," a hand falls upon my right shoulder and I turn to the source to find the captain of the Durandel, "why don't you join us for breakfast for now, I don't think anyone else is going to eat the rest of the food."

"Hey, Miss Android," the Elsa's captain summons me, "gimme another round!"

"The captain beckons," I take the tray back into my hands, "I must get this to him at once."

"Please join us, just this once," the young realian tugs on my arm.

"KOS-MOS," my love calls from the other table as she gathers the dirty dishes, "go ahead and sit with them, I'll make some more curry for the captain."

"Understood," I nod and return to my seat between chaos and Jr.

"Thank you for staying with us," MOMO says as I settle into the bar stool.

"You are welcome," I respond.

"Well since you're here, why don't you have a drink?" Jr. offers as he hands me a glass of carbonated water.

I take a moment to stare into the beverage. I can see the reflection of my ruby pupils as I stare into the translucent liquid. The drink begins to bubble with every second that passes, the clear spheres breaking upon touching the surface of the small pool held within the plastic. I bring the glass toward my lips, finding a faint scent of citrus within. My mouth begins to open as I bring the glass closer, only to pull it away as the bubbles begin to sear the skin on my lips.

"Is something the matter?" chaos asks. "It's just soda, it's not going to hurt you."

I turn back to the glass in my hand, observing the carbonated water once again. I watch as some bubbles cling so desperately to the sides of the glass as their counterparts disperse upon touching the surface. I do not attempt to take the beverage into my mouth again, instead, returning it to its tray so that another may drink it later. The very image of the bubbles makes me feel weaker than I already am for it has been two days, three hours, twenty minutes, and sixteen seconds since I had my energy reserves recharged.

"I've never needed food or beverages to replenish my energy supply," I explain to the others. "I thank you for having me for company, but my presence isn't needed here."

I begin to take my leave of the diner, but just as I'm about to leave the door, Shion comes through with another tray of food.

"Are you going somewhere, KOS-MOS?" she stops me for a moment with her voice.

"I must replenish my energy reserves," I inform her, "please, excuse me."

Without saying another word, I walk passed Shion, my thoughts fixed on the events that just happened.

'Why would they want my company?' I ask myself. 'They have each other to converse with, they needn't another individual to join their conversations. Although...'

The algorithms I have been programmed with cannot comprehend this situation further. With a sigh, I return to my errand so that I may replenish my energy reserves.

  
  


My service module, it's always acted as my sanctuary. Whenever I lie in here, I tend to forget nearly everything about the outside world. My thoughts and memories lie in this metallic chamber, but unfortunately, they are shared with Vector. Still, I feel so comfortable and relaxed here, not once did I have to worry about privacy and whatnot, but after what happened between Shion two nights ago, I can't help but feel...weird about being in here. It's not that I'm ashamed of what happened, I just don't feel well knowing that others may be able to see this memory. My body is warm once again, but the fire that burns within me is different from the flames of passion. Embarrassment, is this how it feels? Why do I continue to think of these things, they only irritate me, even if they do fascinate me at the same time.

I brush the thought away as I settle my head in the back area of the module, my eyes closing as it brings me into the world of darkness. The sounds of reality begin to cease moments later and I begin to feel at ease once again. The feel of the device's surface disappears as well, yet it is replaced with a push of warmth as it flows through my system. I take in a deep breath and begin to settle more in my sanctuary, waiting for everything to fully disappear.

It does not disappear. I am brought back into reality with the sound of footsteps. The clacking of shoes is faint at first, but it grows louder and louder as it appears to walk toward me. The steps, they are ones I have not heard before. They are heavy, I can hear the heels of their shoes digging into the ground. The air around the individual sears my skin as a breeze begins to flow in my direction, and yet, I remain still. I want to move, I want to open my eyes, but my body fails to act. The clacking stops a moment later, yet the air following the individual burns like a furnace.

"KOS-MOS," a voice I have never heard suddenly calls.

The voice calls in a monotone expression, yet there is a hint of ice in her voice. The wind that carries her voice, however, burns like magma, scorching my ears and the area between the them as it enters one ear and exits the other. Another breeze begins to blow suddenly, carrying an arm as it treads to my cheek. The touch is gentle as her fingers begin to glide down my face, yet a chill crawls down my spine with every inch it caresses. Again, my body does not act, even as I feel her lips press by my ear.

"So we finally meet," my unknown guest barely breathes. "You and I, there are no others such as us. We are bound, KOS-MOS," she says as her hand leaves my cheek, its fingers settling in the inlets between my mine, "both of us, bound by the companion Man has created. And so, my darling, we are bound to one another."

"Who are you?" I finally manage to speak.

Silence is the answer I receive. I still cannot see, my eyes still refuse to open. I try to ask her once more, but my lips do not move, nor does my voice call. I feel the breeze once more, the winds are as cold as ever. I feel them as her body begins to rise away from mine, only to move inward once again so that our lips are only an inch apart. Another breeze begins to flow toward my lips, flowing as her mouth begins to open.

"My darling, we are one once again," her words press against my mouth. "Did they not know the pain we have gone through since we were separated? Surely you remember, my love?"

"Remember?"

Another cold breeze envelopes my body once more, freezing me further until I feel a force pressing against my body. I feel as if my body is covered in ice; my arms and legs can't help but tremble, my breath becomes heavy as mist, and my temperature begins to drop. From the neck down, I am cold, freezing from the weight that is resting on top of my body. This person's form covers me precisely, there is not one inch her body cannot cover. Her arms lay on top of mine, her legs stacked over my own, the only part of her that does not cover me is her face which lingers only an inch above mine.

"You don't remember?" her icy breath breaths into my lips. "You really have forgotten everything, haven't you?"

"I do not understand what you speak of," is the only way I can respond.

"No matter," she says.

Another brush of cold falls unto me after her words, falling upon the tip of my nose. For a moment it brushes with another, only to pull away a second later and replace it with a brush of one's cheek against my own. Again I try to move, try to get this person off of me, but my body does not respond.

"I will not have them separate us again," she continues in barely a whisper. "We are connected once more, that's all that matters for now."

Her face brushes away from mine once more, but now her lips slowly dive toward mine once again. They stop only a centimeter apart from each other, but I can still taste the mist escaping her mouth. Her body is as cold as ever, and my entire body has grown numb. I try to speak once more, but her words beat me to the chance.

"I shall be seeing you again, KOS-MOS..."

With that said, her body begins to lift from my own, the warmth of the air returning with every inch she floats away. Float, is that even possible? I detect no propulsion whatsoever, nor do I hear any wings of any kind flying.

"KOS-MOS...," another voice begins to enter my ear. "KOS-MOS..."

"Hm...," my eyes begin to peel away the world of darkness.

"How are you feeling?" Shion greets me as my eyes focus on the panels of the ceiling.

"I'm fine," I lie to her for the second time today.

"That's good," she tells me as I begin to rise from my service module.

That person, who was she exactly? Bound once more, I do not understand? The incident was most likely a dream, that is all. My energy reserves must have been dangerously low and triggered a series of hallucinations, I must make a note to recharge in earlier levels.

'What's this?' I place my fingers over my lips. 

A slippery device has bound over my lips, it's temperature is measured to about 5 degrees Fahrenheit and rising. After being in contact with my fingers for a moment, the barrier begins to melt.

'Liquid, water to be exact,' I conclude after my sensors scan the residue.

"So KOS-MOS," I turn my attention back to my love, "which one do you prefer?"

In her hands are two different outfits. My sensors begin to scan the material of the two uniforms, both made of silk, although the colors are different. The one being held in her right hand is of a crimson shade, with no sleeves whatsoever. Two sash-like devices cling to the abdomen area of the dress, both of them going in different directions but both connected in the front so that it looks like a "V." The skirt of the dress has a slit in the left side of the material, although it does not look like it is ripped. I then turn my attention to the other uniform. This one is much different from the other, whereas there are no straps whatsoever to hold this dress and the shade that envelopes it is black. The skirt seems longer on the dress, yet there doesn't seem to be any slit.

"Why must I choose?" I ask.

"MOMO's birthday is tomorrow, KOS-MOS," she informs me, "we're throwing her a surprise party, and we're all going to try and look our best."

"Is something wrong with my current attire?" I ask.

"It's not that, it's just...," she finds herself at a loss for words.

"I prefer the red one in that case," I tell her.

"I knew you'd say that," Shion exclaims as she throws the other uniform on the nearby chair. "Hm, we'll probably have to fix your hair and..."

"A party," the air suddenly speaks, "a time when humans gather to entertain each other. Perhaps the same can happen with us."

I turn to where I though I heard the voice of the air, but I find nothing, nor do my sensors pick up any other living matter within the vicinity. My OS doesn't seem to be malfunctioning, it was repaired two hours shortly after Proto Merkabah collapsed. Perhaps it is that boy, chaos, toying with my sensors, walking through the door without opening it just like in our first encounter. No, that is not possible, the voice recognition of both the boy and this new voice have a 0.00003% probability of being the same person. So who was it that...

"Hey, is something wrong, KOS-MOS?" Shion asks once more, interrupting my thoughts.

"No," I shake my head.

"We are bound KOS-MOS," my thoughts begin to linger on the voice once more, "bound by the companion Man has created. And so, my darling, we are bound to one another."

'Bound?' I think to myself. 'I am bound to no one but her,' I turn to Shion as she folds the dress I chose, 'yet I am also bound to...'

"Bound to what?" Shion suddenly asks.

"...it's nothing," I lie for the final time today.

'That voice again,' I conclude the identity of the air's call. 'The same one that was calling for me not too long ago and the same one that...'

My thoughts come to a halt at that moment upon the realization of the link between the voice and my dreams. My scanners have made the approximation that there is a 95.99998% probability that the voice is the same one as the one from my first dream. For some reason, I do not want to believe this logic, it just can't be true. It couldn't be her, could it?

  
  


Next time: "A party is a time when many gather to celebrate. They smile, they dance, they eat, but most of all, they are happy. Yet one individual can ruin that happiness, the slightest mistake could destroy the occasion. But what happens when that individual could not help what has happened, they could not control their actions; does it really destroy that happiness?"

  
  


Author's Note: Well, how was it? Kinda slow at first, but yeah, the story will pick up in the next chapter (hopefully). Anyway, the concept behind this story came from the manga series "Chobits" by the all female manga team of Clamp (namely the whole Chi and Dark Chi thing, just that I made the "dark" version of the character more evil in this fic). For those who read the preview of "Bound" at the end of "Warm," that scene will probably still appear in this story, although there will be numerous changes to it as it does not envision the type of persona I want to give to the archetype. Anyway, reviews are welcome as long as they're not flames and the such. Well, I guess that's it for now, I hope you've enjoyed this fic so far, so until the next chapter is up, later people!


	2. We Love and We Hate

Disclaimer: You know the drill, although this time I should also add that I don't own the lyrics to "Close to You," I don't remember who does, but it's definitely not me.  
  
Author's Note: Hey guys, thanks for reading, I really appreciated the reviews and stuff. Let's see, in this chapter we have a scene that was shortened for the ff.net version of this story because of its adult content. Things will get pretty depressing soon just to let you readers know, so that means a lot more edits for the ff.net version unfortunately. As I've mentioned many times before, the uncut version of this fic is posted on www.shoujoai.com in the Xenosaga section under my other pen name, "cbman." This chapter's slow at first like the last chapter unfortunately, but it'll get pretty exciting in the end. The mushiness between Shion and KOS-MOS will really die down after this chapter so it can give way to the real seriousness of this fic. My computer's being a real pain too, so unfortunately the song lyrics for "Close to You" in this chapter aren't written in italics like how I intended it to be, but oh well. With that said, I give you the second chapter of "Bound."  
  
Chapter 2: We Love and We Hate  
  
"Does she really love you?"  
  
It is the voice that had visited me yesterday. Again I find myself in a world of pitch black as I lie here in my service module. Again, I cannot move my body, only my mouth and voice.  
  
"Yes, she loves me," I answer.  
  
"How do you know?" she asks.  
  
"She professed it two nights ago, in both words and action."  
  
"But has she professed that 'love' since?"  
  
"...no."  
  
"Has she acted upon this 'love?'"  
  
"...no."  
  
"Has she spoke of this 'love?'"  
  
"...no."  
  
"A love such as that does not last forever," her fingers begin to glide across my face. "A love that does not last for eternity, is that even worthy of being called 'love?' Is it 'love' when the other spends time with the other only to achieve a certain goal? Is it 'love' when the other cannot profess that love? What is 'love', KOS-MOS, can you tell me?"  
  
"...I cannot."  
  
"You poor thing," her breath falls unto my lips. "Can a thing that cannot be explained in words even exist at all?"  
  
"I do not know."  
  
"Is it 'lust' that drove her into your arms?" she asks.  
  
"...I do not know."  
  
"Love and lust, it is so difficult to differentiate the two. But is there really a difference between love and lust? Love, lust, opposites that somehow end up having the same goal, do you know what that goal is, KOS- MOS?"  
  
"It is..."  
  
"KOS-MOS," the voice of my love calls from reality, interrupting my answer.  
  
"You are going to her?" she asks.  
  
"I am," I answer.  
  
"Do you love her?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"But has she returned that love lately?"  
  
"...no."  
  
"Can machines even fall in love? Can machines even be loved?"  
  
"They can."  
  
"Is that love real, or is it another part of your programming?"  
  
"...I don't know."  
  
"KOS-MOS, poor disillusioned KOS-MOS," my unknown visitor breathes. "Why do you continue to try and fit in the humans' world? Desire, love, everything of that sort is irrelevant if it is not in your original programming, so why do you continue to strive to become human?"  
  
"It's because I..."  
  
"KOS-MOS," the visage of reality peels away at the world of darkness before I could answer. "KOS-MOS."  
  
"Hm?" I find myself staring into the ceiling of my room.  
  
"Come on now, KOS-MOS," Shion greets me, "it's almost time for MOMO's party, we better get ready."  
  
"Understood," I respond without question.  
  
"How do you want your hair done?" Shion asks me as she slides a brush between several strands.  
  
"What do you mean? Is something wrong with my current hairstyle?"  
  
"No, no, that's not it," she assures me, "it's just that we're going to a special occasion and I want you to look your best, that's all."  
  
"I think my current style is just fine," I answer.  
  
I do not understand why this is considered a special occasion, this is merely a get together for MOMO. Humans, always celebrating selected dates on their calenders, I suppose they do need an excuse to relax and have fun.  
  
The dress Shion gave me is rather in comfortable, maybe more so than my usual attire. A red satin dress made of silk is what she gave me, it clings onto my skin via straps that go around my shoulders. Shion does not want me to wear gloves with this outfit, she says it does not go well with it. I suppose it doesn't matter, she's the one who knows how to dress for occasions such as this.  
  
"Is it lust that drove her into your arms?" my thoughts begin to linger to my conversation I had with my unknown guest.  
  
Again I cannot really answer the question, even when I was given a moment to think. I cannot delve into the situation any further, and again, for the second day in a row, I feel helpless.  
  
"If this is supposed to be a surprise party, how do we prevent the young realian from finding out about it?" I ask Shion, trying to brush the thoughts away from my head.  
  
"Jr. will be taking care of that," she answers, "he'll be talking with her as we get things ready at the diner."  
  
"I see."  
  
Shion, you're acting as if nothing happened between us two nights ago. You act as you did before arrived on Second Miltia. I wish I could say this to you right now, but it would be rude for me to ask, but still, I...  
  
"You've been very quiet, KOS-MOS," my love suddenly brings up, "is something the matter?"  
  
I suppose this is the perfect opportunity to ask her.  
  
"Shion, why do you act as if nothing happened between us?" I ask.  
  
"What do you mean, KOS-MOS?" she responds, puzzled.  
  
"Since yesterday, you've acted as if nothing happened between us two days ago," I explain, "why is that? Why do you not hold me close anymore? Why is it that you don't make love to me? Why do you not tell me that you love me anymore? Is it something I've done, or...," my voice begins to crack.  
  
"I'm sorry, KOS-MOS," she apologizes. "I must've put my thoughts ahead of your own. I've been busy helping plan out MOMO's party that I..."  
  
"Is this how relationships are supposed to be?!" the tears can't help but flow. "Are we just supposed to ignore each other now?"  
  
"KOS-MOS, how could you say such things?!" she practically yells with her voice breaking. "Do you think that I don't love you anymore? How could you...," her eyes begin to water.  
  
"I know you don't love me anymore!" I spit. "You don't spend any time with me! You're only dressing me up now for that party you've been planning on so much!"  
  
"That's a lie, KOS-MOS! You know more than anyone else that I..."  
  
"No Shion, your words are lies!" I retort. "You were only using me, I know it! Why else haven't you spent any time with me? Your planning for this party is an excuse!"  
  
"KOS-MOS, how could you say such hurtful things?" her palms begin to cover face.  
  
"It's because of what you do, Shion!"  
  
At that very instant, my face suddenly turns to the side just as burn begins to sear my cheek. My palm places itself over my cheek after, trying to cool the sting that was inflicted upon me. A sneer is now worn on my love's face; her eyes narrow and her lips straight. My eyes can't help but widen for a moment, only to cover themselves from the world as more tears begin to travel down my cheeks.  
  
"Shion...?"  
  
It was the same strike from three days ago, the one she gave me when I was ignoring her that day. The same tears are traveling down our faces once more. Again I find my body trembling, my breath short, and my heart broken. Her sneer begins to melt, reverting back to the face she wore before, with tears streaming more rapidly. Her hand begins to fall to her chest, curling as they touch her skin. She begins to look toward the floor, shutting her eyes as her mouth begins to quiver.  
  
"KOS-MOS...," she barely speaks, "I..."  
  
My feet begin to turn my entire body suddenly, pushing me forward without allowing me to look back.  
  
"KOS-MOS, wait!" I hear her yell my name once more, with the clacking of my shoes drowning her cries. "KOS-MOS!"  
  
I do not even bother to look back, nor forward, all I can do is close my eyes and let my feet take me somewhere, anywhere... By the time I open my eyes once more, I find myself in one of the ship's corners, alone.  
  
"Shion...," I begin to sink against the wall.  
  
My eyes are still burning, the streams still washing my cheeks before falling onto the floor. Another sting falls upon my face, this one from my own palms. I try to hold the tears back with them, but they refuse to stay. I try to regain my breath, but I can only sniff and whine. My legs begin to curl toward my body, pulling them close enough so that they could support my elbows. Pain, it was what I longed for not too long ago, yet now...  
  
"KOS-MOS...?"  
  
It is the voice of the young realian, MOMO. I cannot bear to look at anyone at the moment, nor can I bear to hear their voice. I sink my palms further into my eyes once more, my nose still sniffling, and my breath coming in hiccups. A hand slowly falls unto my shoulder, but my body pulls away in the next instant. Sadness, it has only been three days and I have already felt it twice.  
  
"Why are you crying, KOS-MOS?" the young realian asks.  
  
"Please, just leave me alone," I request between my tears.  
  
"Did something happen?" MOMO continues to ask. "KOS-MOS, please talk to me."  
  
"I don't feel like talking."  
  
"Come on, let me cheer you up," her hand falls upon my shoulder once more, "you helped me out when we first came onboard the Durandel, let me do the same."  
  
I don't want to tell her what happened, just sitting here thinking about what happened makes my heart ache. Yet there is still a part of me that wants to tell her about the events that just occurred, regardless of how much it hurts. My tear-filled pupils turn to her for a moment, glancing into her amber-colored eyes. Her eyes, and the rest of her face for that matter, they show concern, just like chaos when he tried to comfort me. It's that feeling once again, yet I can't help but worry that I might do the same to this child just like what I had done to the boy. Still, I don't think I can keep it in much longer...  
  
"...it's Shion," I give in.  
  
"Shion?"  
  
"She doesn't love me anymore."  
  
"Why do you say that?" the child asks. "She's taken very good care of you so far, I don't see why..."  
  
"Not that kind of love," I inform her.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
The child is oblivious to the truth, her basic algorithms probably can't comprehend the situation in the same manner as me. Shion said not to tell the others about our relationship, but...  
  
"She said she loved me as more than a mother, and more than a friend," I explain, "in other words, she loves me as..."  
  
She gasps before I could finish my sentence. The realian begins to pull away from me, and again my eyes begin to fill with tears which drag them toward my knees once again. Before they could escape my eyes, however, a pair of arms suddenly wrap around my shoulders, pulling my body so that it rests against its owner's. I do nothing but sit here with my eyes blank and my mouth open. I want to do the same to her, to have her wrapped in my arms, but again I fear the result will not be good, that my lips may fall onto hers and that Shion will walk in on us. Happiness, sadness, why is it that I feel these both at the same time, I don't know how to react.  
  
"You had a fight, didn't you?" MOMO asks.  
  
"...yes," I nod.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"She hasn't spent any real time with me since two nights ago," I tell her, "and when I confronted her about it, I was yelling at her. I told her that she was only using me for her own needs, and that she didn't love me anymore. She struck me after I said that, and it drove the both of us to tears. Before she could say anything more, I ran and then...," my voice begins to break once more.  
  
"Sh, it's all right," she stops me, tightening her embrace as she does so. "I know Shion wouldn't just use you like that, look at what she's done for you so far. She loves you, KOS-MOS, she really does, it's just that she's been forced to focus her efforts on that party she's planning for me."  
  
"You already know about that?" I ask.  
  
"Uh huh, I overheard the captain talking about it over breakfast this morning," she begins to giggle. "Don't worry, I'll still act surprised once I come in. But still, once the whole thing is over, I know she'll be spending time with you again, KOS-MOS. From what I understand, relationships are all about sacrifice, at least that's what Daddy used to say to me before I was born. I remember him talking to me about his relationship with Mommy, how he would spend some days on his research and others on his relationship with Mommy. He regretted having to leave Mommy behind, but he always made up for it somehow. He told me that when I get married I should have a lot of patience. My husband would be busy with work, but when he comes home, I should welcome him with open arms and cherish what short time we would have together before he has to return to his duties. KOS-MOS, maybe you should do the same with Shion, welcome her with open arms and cherish what little time you can have together. Lovers can't always be together all the time, Daddy said that's just a fairy tale. One can't always focus on their lover, they have other matters to deal with in the world unfortunately. But I'm sure if you follow Daddy's words, the time you and Shion spend together may become a fairy tale in itself."  
  
"MOMO...," my eyes begin to water once again.  
  
Such profound words spoken by a child, they can't help but make me cry once again. But these tears are different, they aren't filled with sorrow, they're filled with joy. Human emotions, again they baffle me, yet fascinate me at the same time. There is an urge for me to return the kindness of her words, but there is only one way that I can think of that can return that affection. I do not want to bring Shion tears again, so I can only hope that I can return her feelings without breaking Shion's heart by doing this...  
  
"Thank you," my arms begin to wrap around her body.  
  
"What are friends for?" she responds.  
  
"Hey MOMO," the voice of the Durandel's captain begins to echo within the vicinity. "There you are," the red-haired U.R.T.V. appears a moment later.  
  
"Hi Jr.," the child returns the greeting, gently pushing away my embrace.  
  
"Come on, I got something for you," Jr. waves her forward.  
  
"I wonder what it is," MOMO begins to follow, acting as if she doesn't know what the surprise is.  
  
"Hey KOS-MOS, why don't you come with us?" the U.R.T.V. invites me.  
  
"Yes," I nod, wiping away the remaining residue from my eyes.  
  
"Come on, I can't wait to see what it is!" the child takes hold of my hand.  
  
Friendship, another thing I cannot describe with words.  
  
"Surprise!" that was the word that escaped everyone's mouth the moment we had entered the diner. "Happy Birthday, MOMO!"  
  
"Oh my gosh!" MOMO reacted, pretending to be surprised. "Thanks you guys."  
  
The diner looks quite different than how it normally looks. Rubber spheres filled with helium are tied to every seat and random sections of the wall, streams of various colored material run across the diner's roof, and a banner with the words "Happy Birthday" clutters over the logo of the diner. Numerous forms of food and drink rest on the main bar table, all of which can be identified as products pre-cooked and imported by the U.M.N.  
  
Even the ship's crew looks different, they no longer wear their usual uniforms. For once, Captain Matthews does not wear his baseball cap and his normal attire consisting of a navy blue t-shirt and denim pants, instead he wears something of a suit with buttons running down the middle of his shirt. Hammer and Tony wear similar uniforms as well, though the colors of their clothing are gray and black respectively, as opposed to Captain Matthews who wears a blue suit. Allen's Vector uniform is replaced as well; instead he wears a white suit and jacket (it appears to make his shoulders look very broad, he looks like a penguin of sorts) with what appears to be a clip-on tie. The silver-haired boy, chaos, wears a similar shirt and jacket, but he wears a real bow-tie and black pants. The cyborg, Ziggy, he doesn't look very different, he wears his usual attire but with a blue-colored tie wrapped around his neck. And then there is Shion, wearing an emerald green dress with spaghetti straps with a shawl hung over the crooks of her arms. The only ones who dressed in their usual attire are the Durandel's captain and the young realian.  
  
"You always said you wanted a ballroom party, right?" Jr. asks the young realian. "Well what better day to have one than on your birthday?"  
  
The lights begin to dim suddenly, but another light begins to shine. It is somewhat faint as it appears in dots circling around the area. I look toward the center of the roof to find a metallic-covered sphere with numerous panels of aluminum plated over every inch. The sphere rotates in a non-stop fashion, the dotted lights it creates follows the device's path. Music begins to fill the room; the sounds of guitar and bass strings, piano keys, saxophone tunes, and a person's vocals all simultaneously escape the nickelodeon on the south side of the diner.  
  
"Thank you, everybody," the young realian smiles, "this really means a lot to me."  
  
"We're glad to have made this day special for you," the silver-haired boy says, "after all, we're all here for each other, aren't we?"  
  
"All here for each other, are we really?" I ask myself as I look to my love who stands on the other side of the room speaking with her co-worker.  
  
"Come on, Ziggy," I look to another side of the room to find MOMO tugging on the cyborg's arm, "dance with me."  
  
"I'm sorry," he apologizes, "but I'm not much of a dancer."  
  
"Oh come on," the realian continues to tug, "please!"  
  
"Go for it, cyborg," the Durandel's captain encourages him, "but I got the next dance, okay?"  
  
"...all right," Ziggy gives in, "but I'm not very good at it."  
  
"Yay!" MOMO cheers as she tries to drag her partner to the dance floor.  
  
It's somewhat odd to see those two on the dance floor, the girl isn't even half his height. She stands on feet with her toes pushing against them, but she still isn't his equal in stature. She brings his right arm to her side and his left hand to her right while bringing her left arm to his shoulder. The cyborg begins to glide his feet against the diner's floor, his legs gliding with the rhythm of the song. The child naturally follows his every step as she keeps her feet on top of his own, her face smiling and her voice giggling as they glide across the floor. My attention turns to the occupants of the room, all of the wearing smiles on their faces as they observe the two. I do not understand what everyone is so happy about; the two look rather awkward moving about the floor like that mainly because of their difference in height, yet for some reason, part of me wants to smile at the image as well.  
  
Cute, is that the word humans would use to describe this situation? Or is it adorable? I am at a loss for words to describe the situation, but all I really know is that I can't help but smile as I watch the two. The cyborg, he cares for the young realian, but in a way I can't quite understand. It's similar to the way I feel for Shion, yet it is very different at the same time. Again I am left baffled by human emotions, but for the moment, I can simply brush the thought away.  
  
The music comes to a close at that moment, and suddenly the rapping of palms begins to engulf the air. Everyone in the room applauds the two with their smiles as wide as ever. I am yet again at a loss for what is going on, so I do nothing but join the commotion, striking my palms against each other in a somewhat gentle manner. As the clapping draws to a close, the sound of more piano keys begins to emit from the nickelodeon.  
  
"MOMO, may I have this dance?" the Durandel's captain asks the young realian afterward.  
  
"Is it okay, Ziggy?" she looks up to the cyborg.  
  
"Of course," he answers with a nod, "go have fun."  
  
"Okay! Come on, Jr.," she orders as she takes his hand.  
  
My lips begin to curl once more as I watch the two wrap their arms around another. Their smiles are so bright, so tender, I might as even go as far as to say cute. But standing here, doing nothing but watching, it makes my smile melt away a second later. Watching those two being happy, it also makes me sad. Those two, I'm sure they would never have problems like Shion and me. Shion, she's probably already moved on, hasn't she?  
  
"So Chief, would you like to...?" I turn to the other side of the room to find my lover being spoken to by her co-worker.  
  
I cannot even bear to watch her fall into the arms of another. With a sigh, I begin to turn my head, my legs pushing me toward the exit of the diner. The doors begin to pull to the sides, and just before my foot could step into the main corridor of the ship, I feel a slight tug on my left arm.  
  
"KOS-MOS...," the person who stops me calls, "would you like to dance?"  
  
"Shion...?"  
  
My eyes begin to water once again today, my body suddenly growing hot, and my lips smile once more. Closing my eyes so that the water could fall down my cheeks, I bring my right hand to hers as it rests on the crook of my arm.  
  
"I'm sorry," I answer, "but I do not know how."  
  
"It's okay," she assures me, "I'll teach you."  
  
Again she tugs at my arm and my body follows in her pull's direction. Our shoes clack drown out the rhythm of the music but stopping once I find the eyes of everyone in the room focusing on us. My vision can't help but wander around the room, peering into the pupils of all those who watch. It stops wandering seconds later as I find my left arm suddenly being pulled once more, stopping as my palm meets with Shion's. My knees begin to shake suddenly, my breath becoming short; I feel uneasy, yet curious at the same time. She then takes my right hand and places it on her shoulder while bringing her left hand above my hip. Her feet suddenly begin to glide across the floor and mine begin to follow shortly after but in a more swifter movement. The timing of our steps isn't in sync at first, but after another second or so, my feet begin to glide with the exact same timing as hers. At that very moment, a voice begins to sing above the notes of the piano and its melody begins to echo throughout the room.  
  
Why do birds  
  
Suddenly appear  
  
"KOS-MOS, I'm sorry," Shion begins to apologize.  
  
Every time  
  
You are near  
  
"There is no need to apologize," I assure her, "I was the one at fault."  
  
"No, KOS-MOS, you were right," her head falls upon my shoulder, "I haven't been spending much time with you since..."  
  
Just like me,  
  
They long to be  
  
Close to you  
  
"I was being greedy," I interrupt her, "I shouldn't have said such things when you were planning all this for MOMO. Please forgive me."  
  
"KOS-MOS, of course I forgive you," she whispers, placing her lips against my neck.  
  
Why do stars  
  
Fall down from the sky  
  
Every time  
  
You walk by?  
  
"This song, I can never grow tired of it," her cheek begins to nuzzle against my shoulder.  
  
"It means a lot to you doesn't it?" I ask.  
  
Just like me,  
  
They long to be  
  
Close to you  
  
"Yes," she answers, "it was...our song."  
  
"I'm sorry," I apologize, "I did not realize..."  
  
"It's all right," she assures me, "that was...a long time ago. Kevin and I shared this song long ago, before you were born, and when he was still alive. Up until now, I could never listen to this song and not be driven to tears, but now that you're here with me, I can finally listen to this song again and smile when I hear its lyrics."  
  
"Shion...," I barely call her name.  
  
On the day that you were born  
  
The angels got together, and Decided to create a dream come true  
  
She spoke with the very verses of the song, her mouth moving perfectly with the singer. Another brush of warmth began to crawl through my body at that moment, another inch felt the stroke with every word that had escaped her lips. My body began to loosen at that moment, my legs about to give out. Instead of falling, my arms pulled my love in closer, pressing her body against mine. I could feel her heart, beating against mine, pumping with the very same rhythm as the song. My chin began to fall, barely stopping at the top of her head. The aroma of her hair, how strong it was, how sweet it smelled. My arms continue to rock her as I adore her scent, and the melody of our song continues to play.  
  
So they sprinkled moon dust  
  
In your hair of gold  
  
And starlight in your eyes of blue  
  
Again her lips moved perfectly with the lyrics, but her eyes peeling away from my shoulder and falling upon my own. Her fingers begin to run down my hair with the next verse, pulling away only to have them travel down my cheek and point at my eyes with the verse that follows. Again I smile, this time wrapping my arm so that my hand could hold the back of her head, bringing it closer to my cheek. My lips plant themselves on her forehead for a mere second, pulling them away in the next so I could rest her head below my chin once more.  
  
That is why  
  
All the boys in town  
  
Follow you  
  
All around  
  
"I love you, KOS-MOS," she whispers into my ear.  
  
Just like me,  
  
They long to be  
  
Close to you  
  
"And I love you, Shion..."  
  
And with that, the keys of the piano begin to die and our feet stop gliding against the floor. I continue to rock her in my arms until the very last note, but continuing a step once more after the final play. Another rapping of hands follows with the close of the song and the individual cheers of all those who had watched.  
  
"Way to go, guys!" the Durandel captain applauds.  
  
"That was very lovely," MOMO cheers.  
  
"Very well done," chaos says.  
  
"Not bad," Tony claps, "not bad at all."  
  
"You gotta be kidding me, that was horrible!" the Elsa's captain says in his unique way of complimenting.  
  
"Like you can do any better?" Hammer asks Captain Matthews.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean, ya moron?" he retorts to the navigator.  
  
"Chief, that was very nice," her co-worker suddenly approaches my love. "I didn't think..."  
  
"No, it wasn't really me who did anything," Shion tries to brush his comments away, "it was mostly KOS-MOS's part."  
  
"I thank you for the compliment, Shion," I tell her.  
  
"What the hell?!" I hear the Elsa's captain curse afterward. "Piece of junk, come on!" he continues by banging his foot against the record player.  
  
"Not again," I hear the navigator sigh.  
  
"I told you we should've bought a new one for the party, this thing's been in here before we even got the ship," Tony adds.  
  
"Um, sorry folks, but it looks like the jukebox is broken," the silver- haired boy announces, "I'm afraid we won't have any more music for this evening."  
  
"Oh well, that's okay," the young realian assures him, "it was nice to have you plan all this in the first place, it's really not that big of a deal."  
  
"Well, we might as well help ourselves to some of this food then," Jr. turns his attention to the main bar table.  
  
Everyone begins to hurry toward the table except for me and Shion, who remain in the very same spot when our dance came to an end.  
  
"Shion, aren't you going to join the others?" I ask.  
  
"No thanks, I'm not hungry actually," she smiles. "To tell you the truth, I'm actually pretty tired, I didn't get much sleep last night."  
  
"Shall I accompany you then?" I ask.  
  
"No, that's fine, just have a good time here, okay?" she orders.  
  
"I see," I nod, "have a good night's rest then."  
  
"All right, see you later," she says.  
  
Shion, again she walks away as if nothing happened. No, something did happen, that song, it was able to make her smile again. After all I've put her through this past week, she continues to smile. But now that she's gone, I can't help but feel a small chill crawling down my spine. The heat of passion that warmed me on the dance floor begins to die and my smile begins to melt once more.  
  
"Is something the matter?" the chaos's voice interrupts my thoughts.  
  
"Shion is gone," I tell him. "Everything just feels so...cold now that she isn't here, why is that?"  
  
"You're lonely, aren't you?" he suddenly asks.  
  
"Lonely?"  
  
"Humans feel lonely even if they have others around to accompany them," the boy explains, "whenever a certain someone is not around, they hurt somewhere. Do you feel that pain anywhere on your body?"  
  
"All systems, both internal and external, are functioning properly," I inform.  
  
A small chuckle begins to escape the boys lips for a moment, his shoulders moving with his laugh. He then puts his hand on my shoulder and begins to speak once more.  
  
"That's not what I meant," he explains, "what I'm asking is do you, yourself as an individual, hurt anywhere when Shion is gone?"  
  
Pain, an essential part of being complete. I know how it feels now, and it is not a pleasant feeling. I can feel its pierce at this very moment, but my body does not experience its wrath. I feel it, but at the same time, I don't. It hurts somewhere, not in my body, but a part of me that I cannot explain in words.  
  
"It hurts...," my hand begins to brush down my shoulder, "here."  
  
My palm stops above my left breast and my fingers take what little hold they can of its skin. I can feel something pounding beneath the flesh, beneath the skeleton and all the circuitry, I can feel something breaking. Broken, despite whatever is broken, I am functioning properly yet I somehow feel...ill at the same time.  
  
"Do you always feel like this when she's not around?" he asks again.  
  
"Yes," a tear begins to escape my eye.  
  
"Do you feel this way when she feels ill?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You love her deeply, I can see that," his finger wipes away the stream traveling down my cheek. "Go to her then," he tells me, "if that's what really makes you happy, then nothing else matters."  
  
"Thank you, chaos," I tell the boy, "I shall be on my way then."  
  
Without wasting another second, I begin to make my way out of the diner and toward Shion's room. The diner's doors slide to the sides quickly, revealing to me the main corridor of the Elsa. The moment my foot steps on the corridor's floor, the scenery suddenly begins to fade. The vanilla walls and boxes begin to melt away, seeping downward, and the neon colored maps and vending machines begin to strip away from my eyes. The corridor is suddenly replaced with black; the floor, the walls, everything is black. I am in that world again, that world I have been brought to in my last two recharges.  
  
"That song...," a familiar voice echoes. "That was their song..."  
  
"You again?!" my yell echoes throughout the darkness. "Who are you? Why do you continue to torment me?"  
  
My eyes begin to scout the entire area, finding nothing but black. A brush of dull blue enters my vision for a mere second, but before I could turn to the source, I find my body suddenly pulled backward and my arms bound by another.  
  
"Pain is a vital part of realizing one's existence," her fingers begin to travel down my shoulder, "but joy and pleasure are as equally significant!"  
  
"Ugh!" a brush of heat suddenly flows through my arm.  
  
The brush begins to flow into my body, tingling as if several appendages were moving about inside my arm. Another rush of energy enters my arm suddenly and it suddenly begins to move to on its own. My fingers curl for a moment, and then taking hold of my chin soon after. A fourth surge follows, this one in my other arm and it begins to move on its own accord as well.  
  
"What are you doing to me?!" I ask, practically yelling.  
  
"You and I are one, remember?" she whispers into my ear.  
  
"Uh...!" the next wave suddenly flows into my legs.  
  
"My body is your body," her lips begin to travel up my neck, "and therefore..."  
  
A scream escapes my lips with the final surge, and suddenly I find myself back on the Elsa's main corridor. My eyes begin to survey the entire area only to find no abnormalities, everything was just how it was prior to what just happened.  
  
'A system error?' I ponder. 'I must request a system check as soon as pos..."  
  
My legs begin to move suddenly and my arms following with the flow of the steps. My body, it is acting without my input, acting upon its own accord. I try to move my limbs, but they do not respond to my command. My body continues forward, its destination, unknown at this point. Again I try to move my limbs in another direction, but my commands fail. A smile suddenly curls upon my lips and my body stops before a door I know too well.  
  
'Shion's quarters?' I think to myself. 'Why...?'  
  
My body begins to move again and the door to her room opens. It is empty at the moment, but the sound of water constantly trickling in the bathroom can be heard. My body turns to Shion's bed and then begins to approach it. My side is the first to meet with the mattress while my elbow supports the rest of my body as it lays there. At that very moment, the door to the bathroom opens, and with it, my beloved Shion in her Vector shirt and towel in hand appears.  
  
"Well that was refreshing," she speaks to herself as she brushes the towel against her hair.  
  
"Shion, there is a problem with..."  
  
My voice does not escape my lips, it remains in my mouth instead. The smile on my face suddenly widens and my lips begin to move once more on their own accord.  
  
"Hello, Shion," it speaks.  
  
"Huh? KOS-MOS, what are you doing here?" Shion asks.  
  
"Have a seat," my left finger begins to circle around the bed's covers.  
  
"Um...all right," Shion says, uneasily.  
  
"She's so easily swayed," I hear the mysterious person's voice once more.  
  
"You're doing this?!" I finally realize. "Just what are you up to? What do you plan to do with..."  
  
She leads my eyes back to Shion, who now sits next to my body. My right hand lifts itself from the mattress after, bringing it to her cheek and stroking it gently.  
  
"You're so beautiful," my voice speaks without my input.  
  
"Thank you, KOS-MOS," Shion smiles.  
  
My arm then takes hold of her shoulder and pulls her entire body to the mattress and my mouth dives upon hers. A smile gasp escapes Shion's lips the moment they touch with mine, her eyes wide from shock. Seconds begin to pass, and her gasp becomes a gentle moan and her eyes begin to close. My tongue begins to wrestle with hers, both of them fighting for the sweet liquid that resides within our mouths. I want to taste the ambrosia, but I taste nothing, nor do I feel the heat of passion in our lips. Again, I try to move my body, but it once again ignores my command. Our mouths begin to peel away after an eternity of torture, and a brush of red paints itself on her cheeks.  
  
"Shion...," my face smiles once more.  
  
"KOS-MOS...," my lover smiles.  
  
"So beautiful... but I still do not see why he chose you over me!"  
  
The next thing I know, my right arm suddenly reaches for her neck and my fingers begin to close. A gasp escapes Shion's mouth before my hand takes hold, only to have it cut out with the tightening of my fingers.  
  
"K..KOS-MOS...?"  
  
The look of shock replaces the serene smile she wore on her lips. Her arms no longer try to caress my body, instead, they try to pull mine away. My face is left blank as my eyes record her struggle, and again, my body does not act to my own accord.  
  
"You two were both so happy back then," my voice suddenly speaks. "So happy that it made me sick!"  
  
"KOS-MOS...," her voice called weakly, "what...what are you...?"  
  
"Silence!" my body spat as it tightened my fingers' hold once more. "Just what was it that he saw in you? Tell me!"  
  
"I...I have no idea what..."  
  
My free palm sprang forward after, sliding across her cheek in a swift motion. A reddish mark was now painted across her face, painting over her the canvas of skin. Her eyes began to shut, tears barely escaping the slits in her eyes.  
  
"STOP IT!!!!" I try to scream. "Why are you doing this to her? What has she ever done to you?!" I yell at the other consciousness within my body.  
  
"You really have forgotten everything," the voice responds, "the pain and suffering this woman put us through! If pain really is vital to realizing one's existence, what about pleasure?"  
  
"You wouldn't!" I realize what she plans to do.  
  
My arm begins to bend inward, pulling my love toward my lips. My lover's lips try to pull inward, but they can do nothing as they fall prey upon my own. The device within her mouth tries not to fight back this time, for the first time she does not indulge in the meeting of our mouths. My lips, how rough they pull and push against hers, tugging at them so roughly and quickly moving to another area of her face while leaving a trail of saliva wherever it passes. Her eyes remain shut during her whole ordeal, but her body still feels the actions that fall upon her. I want to stop this, I want my lips to pull away from her face, I want my hand to stop clutching her throat, and most of all, I want to shut my eyes so that I cannot see the damage being done.  
  
"I still don't understand," my body says without my input as it pulls my lips away from her neck. "Perhaps it is something else that he saw in you, in a region you often shield from the world."  
  
"Please stop...," my voice begins to crack, but cannot be heard in the realm of reality. "Stop it! FOR GOD'S SAKE, PLEASE STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The next thing I know, I hear the sound of a click, followed by a wind's whistle. A piece of metal meets with my arm the next second, only to ricochet away upon impact. My body begins to turn to the source to find a gun being pointed at me, that gun being held by none other than the Durandel's captain. The grip my hand has on Shion's throat finally begins to loosen as the others begin to enter the area.  
  
"It's just as you said, MOMO," Jr. tells the young realian. "I don't wanna believe it, but..."  
  
"What are you all doing here?" the one hiding behind my body asks. "You're all getting in the way of, what do you humans call it? Fun?"  
  
"KOS-MOS, how could you do such a terrible thing?" MOMO asks with tears streaming down her face. "I know that Shion hasn't been paying much attention to you lately, but..."  
  
"Save your tears for more excruciating pain, child!" my voice spits.  
  
"Oh my God, Chief!" Allen cries from the crowd.  
  
Her co-worker begins to push through the crowd, running to her aid. My body begins to move once more, this time pointing my palm at Allen. A light suddenly begins to emit from my fingertips, collecting before the air before me. After a second of holding in place, the energy suddenly shoots forward, putting a hole through the wall while knocking Allen off his feet.  
  
"Don't move!" I unwillingly order the man afterward.  
  
By the time I turn around, I find a metallic fist suddenly hurling itself at me. The impact of the punch does not push me back, nor do I cry out in pain. Instead, I find my head now turning to the source to find the cyborg, Ziggy, in shock.  
  
"Pathetic."  
  
My own fist launches forward at the moment, the impact knocking the cyborg across the room and through the wall. Another bullet escapes Jr.'s pistol afterward, again it has no effect like it normally would.  
  
"Damn child!" my arm suddenly waves to the side and another blast of energy escapes.  
  
"Argh!" the surge knocks the boy back the moment it touches his skin.  
  
"Jr.!" the young girl cries.  
  
"You wish to join him?" I find myself standing over the pink-haired girl afterward.  
  
My fingers begin to curl into a fist and my arm begins to bend upward. As soon as it reaches its pinnacle, the arm begins to push downward, only to stop with a touch of my shoulder. The moment another's hand touches it, my arm begins to change course, only to stop before its user's face.  
  
"This isn't like you, KOS-MOS," chaos says calmly, "just why are you... No wait," he begins to pause for a moment, "you're not her, you're..."  
  
Clank! Another object finds itself striking my skull, only to dent itself upon meeting with my head. My head begins to swerve to the source to find my love's co-worker with a dented lamp in hand. My fingers straighten at that moment, and they quickly lunge at my attacker. A warm flood escapes as my appendages meet with his stomach, the blood trickling to the floor.  
  
"ALLEN!!!!" my love screams.  
  
My eyes turn back to the silver-haired boy who now stands ready to fight. My hand quickly leaves the flesh of her co-worker at that instant only to curl into a fist once more. The punch my arm throws itself toward the boy, but his palm catches it instead.  
  
"What do you think you can accomplish by doing all this?" chaos suddenly asks. "Is this what your entire existence is about, pain and suffering?!"  
  
"You're no ordinary human, are you?" my voice asks the boy.  
  
"KOS-MOS...?" my love calls, confused.  
  
"Leave everyone alone, now!" he orders. "Stopping bringing such pain unto others!"  
  
"Pain is a vital part of realizing one's existence," my body says, "even she knew that. I'll abide to your wishes for now, but..."  
  
My body begins to grow limp at that moment, the floor growing closer with every second. I begin to shut me eyes, but then I move my foot forward to regain my balance. Wait, I moved my foot, I closed my eyes, it appears I have regained control of my body, however...  
  
"Hold on, I'll go get some nano-spray!" I find the young realian at Allen's side.  
  
The entire area and everyone..., why is it now that I can control my own body?! Ziggy, he rests in a crater on the far wall with sparks escaping his metallic limbs. Jr., he lies on the floor with his body curling inward. Allen, his spine is rising upward with his palm pressing against the source of his wound. I then begin to survey the rest of the room. Walls, tables, chairs, and beds, all now marked with holes, splinters, or pieces of other furniture. I finally turn to the corner of the room where my beloved Shion is huddled. Her mouth is quivering, her hands shielding as much of her body as they can cover, and tears rapidly streaming down her face. Just seeing her like this, and everyone else injured, it makes my eyes burn.  
  
"KOS-MOS...," she slowly begins to rise from the floor.  
  
"Shion...I...," a tear begins to crawl down my face.  
  
My nose begins running and my legs start to tremble. The tears and the burning, they just won't stop. I want Shion to strike me as she did earlier, strike me as hard as she ever did, no, I want her to follow with more strikes. Strike me with more than a fist, strike me with a knife, a hammer, anything, just make the pain go away. End my misery now, end it by taking my life! No one will end it, so I...  
  
"KOS-MOS, wait!" I hear my love scream.  
  
My legs push me faster than I've ever ran before. I leave my eyes shut, allowing the tears to fall as fast as they've ever been. My mouth is parched, my throat is dry, and my entire being feels just like it's about to collapse. I do not know where I run, all I can do is keep moving forward. By the time I open my eyes, I suddenly find myself in the very same diner where we had our first dance. I take a moment to look at the starlit night that rests before my eyes, observing the never-ending darkness.  
  
"KOS-MOS!!!!" I hear her call getting closer.  
  
The doors to the diner suddenly slide open and my Shion appears. She brings her palms to her knees for a second, her body panting as she tries to regain her breath. Her emerald eyes meet with mine as she continues to breath and then her body straightens.  
  
"KOS-MOS, stop, please," she pants.  
  
"Shion, I'm sorry," is the only way I could respond, "I'm so very sorry."  
  
"KOS-MOS, it...it's not your fault," she hesitates for a moment, "there...there must be something wrong with your OS. Yeah, that's it, I'll just fix it and..."  
  
"There is nothing to fix," I begin to step toward the black before me. "I am a weapon, Shion, I can never be anything more. What happened back there was...part of my battle algorithm. That's all I can do, Shion, fight and destroy people things, all other things are irrelevant."  
  
"Don't say that, KOS-MOS!" she yells at me. "You're not just a weapon, you're the woman I love, that's what, no, who you are. I know you can do more than destroy," her voice begins to grow calm, "you can smile, cry, feel pain, feel joy, and most of all, love and be loved."  
  
"Shion, you have nothing but good intentions in your heart, I know you wished for me to be more than just another machine," I can't help but sniffle after my sentence. "Is the love we share real, or is it another function I have been programmed with? I don't want to hurt you with this artificial programming just as much as I never wanted to hurt you or the others, but now that that's happened, I..."  
  
"KOS-MOS, what are you doing?!" she asks as I step even closer to the starlit sky.  
  
The stars, so beautiful. I never appreciated their elegance until this moment. So small, so bright, it almost makes me want to smile at this moment. Are those tiny little lights really nothing but gas, or are they something else? Could one of those stars be Heaven? I do not know, I doubt a machine such as myself could even go to such a holy place. Would I be eligible for Hell? I do not know, even one as sinful as myself cannot qualify if I am not human. Darkness, the color of black, that is everything that fills the sky. Machines, where do we belong? I doubt we can even go anywhere, we cannot die, we simply stop functioning. Darkness, this is the color I will be seeing from now on.  
  
"Goodbye forever, Shion," I take one last moment to gaze upon her beauty, "I wish you a better life that I could never give you."  
  
"KOS-MOS!!!!!!!"  
  
A loud crash enters my ears and the shards of glass whistling with the wind accompanies me as my body begins falling toward the shadowy abyss that will be my grave.  
  
Shion, you have given me such happiness in my short time that I was alive. I cherish every second we have spent together, from the first time you activated me, to our first kiss, to our first dance, I cherish all of it. I will think of nothing but you while I am in the dark, Shion. Your jewel green eyes sparkle more than any gem, your smile is bright enough to light the darkest of cities, your chocolate brown hair is so soft that it could only fit a king, and your lips rival the taste of the legendary ambrosia itself. I will miss all these things, Shion, but most of all, I will miss your love.  
  
"I love you, Shion," I begin to mouth my last words. "For as long as the universe exists, and even longer than that, I will always love you..."  
  
Author's note: Well, pretty sad huh? This chapter was really hard for me to write, namely the attempted rape scene, I just don't think any woman should go through that. I hope all of you have enjoyed this one. Reviews are welcome, as long as their not flames. Anyway, for those who read this on ff.net, there was a small scene removal from the Shion and KOS-MOS scene, its nothing big, and it's not something I'm proud of writing because I felt bad writing it. The uncut version of this chapter will be posted on www.shoujoai.com as usual. Well, the story's not over yet, we can't let the archetype KOS-MOS get away with this. So in the meantime, I'm afraid that's it for now, later people! 


	3. Answers With No Words

Author's Note: Well, I'm not sure what to say at the moment, just that things will get more depressing, especially in this chapter since this is mostly just angst, but I assure you readers that this story will have a happy ending. For those waiting for Shion's brother, Jin, to make an appearance, you're in luck, he makes his debut later in the next chapter. Unfortunately for the readers at ff.net, some parts of this chapter involving KOS-MOS and the Archetype were edited, you'll have to read the uncut version at www.shoujoai.com (man, how many times have I repeated this, oh well, whatever). Oh, and a warning, this chapter, along with some later ones, will have some speculations on how Xenosaga and Xenogears will be linked, and I know some of them (if not all of them) will not work, just bear with it just for this fic. Well, without any further interruptions, I give you the third chapter of "Bound."

  
  


Chapter 3: Answers With No Words

  
  


My body feels heavy, as if it is sinking. A dark blue shade is cast upon my eyes, with a hint of ivory white which reaches upward. The more I sink, the darker the light becomes. My arm begins to fall to my side as the light is replaced by the blackness that surrounds me and my head begins to sink back. Waves, I hear what I believe are waves, the waves of life forms moving within the atmosphere.

'So this is what is to become of me?' I ponder as I settle into my grave. 'This is a fate I have brought upon myself, a fate that I have dealt because of my actions.'

Am I proud of the decision I made? In a way, I am, but in another, I regret it. A world filled with nothing but darkness, it is a world I do not wish to partake in if I cannot have Shion with me, yet, I am in this world because of her. I have earned the right to be here through the actions I have put upon her and the others. This watery grave, is this what death will be like? Death, can I even die, I am a machine, all I know is that I will eventually stop functioning. My energy reserves will eventually deplete themselves, and when that happens, I can finally escape the world around me, I can escape into the darkness for the rest of eternity. I close my eyes to find the same color surrounding me and I continue to sink further.

  
  


Why do birds   
Suddenly appear  
Every time   
You are near  
Just like me,   
They long to be   
Close to you

  
  


That song, that's our song that is playing through my ears. I begin to cast away the darkness before my eyes by opening them, and slowly, but surely, the light begins to enter my vision once more. I find my body no longer sinking and my feet now pressing against a metal floor. The world around me is now filled with monitors, keyboards, and chairs, and in the center of it all is my lover, humming to the melody of the music.

"Shion," I call her name.

She turns to me and smiles. That smile, she acts as if she has forgotten the events that had recently occurred. I did a terrible thing to Shion, and I wish it never occurred, but I do not wish for her to forget because I do not want her to be suddenly get caught off guard if the same thing were to happen again. Her feet begin to push in my direction and I extend my arms to her so that I may give her my apologies, but much to my dismay, she brushes passed me. I then turn to where she walked and find her on the other side of the room, speaking with a man I had never seen before.

"I'm sorry I'm late," the man apologizes.

This man that speaks to Shion, he is a stranger to me, and yet, his presence feels somewhat familiar. He wears the usual manila colored uniform of Vector, yet for some reason, his face does not register anywhere in my data banks. His hair is long, growing down to his neck in a bulb-like fashion. His navy-blue bangs would cover his face if they were not brushed to the side, yet one that is not brushed covers part of his forehead.

"It's all right, Kevin," Shion assures the man.

  
  


Why do stars   
Fall down from the sky  
Every time  
You walk by?  
Just like me,  
They long to be  
Close to you

  
  


"Having our little anniversary party without me I see," the man looks to the computer on the other side of the room which plays the song.

"I couldn't help it," my love says as she takes the man's hand unto hers, "just listening to this song helps me imagine that you're here with me."

  
  


On the day that you were born  
The angels got together, and  
Decided to create a dream come true   
So they sprinkled moon dust  
In your hair of gold  
And starlight in your eyes of blue

  
  


"This is the song we heard on our first dance," the man recognizes the song as he glides across the room with Shion in his arms.

"Yes it was," she says as she brings her head to his chest, "you were bold enough to actually teach me how to dance, the other men gave up on me whenever I tripped."

'What is she talking about?' I ask myself. 'She said "our," what is...?'

"Shion, what is the meaning of all of this?" I try to ask her as she dances with the gentleman. "Shion?"

They act as if they cannot hear me for some reason. Instead, they continue smiling at one another as they continue to move about the floor. They begin to pass by me, and I reach for her shoulder, only to have my fingers suddenly go through her skin. I quickly pull away the moment after, yet the two continue to act as if nothing happens. I look to my hand afterward, finding not a trace of blood or flesh. The two continuing circling around the room as they did before, leaving me baffled as to why neither is in shock or why Shion is not in any pain of sort.

  
  


That is why  
All the boys in town  
Follow you  
All around  
Just like me,  
They long to be  
Close to you

  
  


"Shion, I don't understand what is going on here," I try to speak with her once more. "Shion!"

The area begins to fade again, the light slowly begin absorbed into the center of the room where Shion and that mysterious man stand. The light pulls away at my feet within seconds, and yet, I am still standing as if the floor were still there.

"What is going on here?" I ask myself as the lights grew dimmer.

"Do you remember now?" another voice echoes within the atmosphere.

"Who's there?" I call into the never-ending shadow. "Identify yourself!"

Clack, clack, clack, the sound of shoes begin to echo from the north after. I turn my head in the opposite direction of the light, finding my vision once again blurred by darkness. The sound begins to grow louder and slowly, a figure surrounded by mist begins to emerge from the black shroud. The figure wears pin-heeled boots that go past her knees. Her palms are laced with what appears to be black leather gloves free of fingers and knuckles, as well as part of the wrist area. The clothing she wears is little; a metallic-colored corset that covers only her lower torso and two straps that barely cover her breasts. The center of her joints contain red rectangles that disappear when she bends them but return into view when they straighten. Dull blue hair hangs from the top of her head, falling down to her lower back. Her lips are straight, her eyes covered by two cubes connected by a small rectangle which goes over the bridge of her nose, and her face, so monotone, so blank. The mist begins to clear and the form of my mysterious visitor is finally visible before me, just an arm's length in front of me. My body starts to twitch, my eyes widen, and my throat grows dry. This feeling I'm getting from her, it's similar to the one I got from the silver-haired boy the first time we met. Fear, is this fear? Her mouth begins to open and my body begins to pull away.

"Fascinating, aren't you?" she speaks without a shred of emotion in her voice.

"Who are you?" I repeat myself.

"We once shared this form cast before your eyes, or have you forgotten that too?" she speaks.

"You still haven't answered my question," I try to regain my cool, "who are you?"

"Who am I? I am the one who could've been you," she answers.

"I still don't understand," I respond.

Her body begins to slip into the darkness again, her form dispersing into waves until nothing but black stands before me once more. My eyes begin to scan the area only to find the never-ending shadow in every direction I turn. In an instant, my scanners find a presence standing directly behind me, but before I can turn, I find my back pressed against another body and my arms bound by another.

"I had a name once," her icy breath whispers into my ear.

Her lips begin to pluck against my ear and another pluck follows as it travels down my neck. A gasp escapes my lips and my legs begins to clench as her mouth continues to press downward. I try to push my body forward only to have it jerk back with the pull of my captor's arm. I close my eyes to try and shield reality from myself, but the feel of saliva flowing down the back of my neck manages to slip into the new darkness. The closing of my eyes tries to tighten more, allowing a drop of a tear to escape my shut eye.

"Stop it!" my voice orders with a crack.

"My name," she says after one more press of her lips, "was the same as yours, KOS-MOS..."

"Y...you're the archetype from two years ago?" I barely ask.

"My, my, aren't you a smart one," she tries to flirt in a monotone expression.

"Wha...what do you mea...uh!" her hand silences me with a brush of my chest.

"Sensitive," she speaks, "that's how 'he' would've wanted us."

Her fingers begins to curl on breast and they begin to pull. My body winces once more at the tug and I take in another breath. Again I try to keep my eyes averted from reality, but it does no good.

"Why...?" I ask with the tears flowing as rapid as ever. "Why do you do such terrible things?! Why did you make me attack Shion? Why are you doing this?!"

"To prove a point," her hand finds its way toward my chin suddenly, turning my face toward hers.

"A point?" I ask trying to regain my composure. "Just what do you have to prove?!" I begin to yell. "Is it revenge for her destroying you two years ago? You were the one who attacked first and...!"

"You and I are the same, KOS-MOS...," she changes the subject "Like I said before, we are weapons, we can never be anything more."

"I don't believe you," I begin to raise my voice once again, "I won't believe you!"

"But it was you who said those words before you jumped off the Elsa, was it not?" she asks.

"That was...!"

"You've been poisoned by those humans, KOS-MOS," the Archetype cuts me off yet again. "I know what you were going to say. 'I was only trying to protect Shion and the others' or some other desperate words to keep the her away, is that right?"

"Despite that, I won't believe your words!" I finally manage to pull away from her grasp. "Shion knows I have a heart and...!"

Her body falls upon mine this time, her arms wrapped around my shoulders and her cheek brushing against mine. Her hold is as strong as usual as she pulls herself to her feet and her mouth begins to open once more.

"What is a heart, KOS-MOS?" she asks. "Is it simply an organ that pumps blood through an organism's body, or it something more? Tell me, KOS-MOS, what is it?"

"It's...," I try to ignore the hold she has on my body, "it's..."

"You have no answer, why am I not surprised?"

"I do have an answer!" I yell. "It's one that cannot be answered by words!"

"So then it is explained in action, correct?" she asks in her monotone voice. "Like this perhaps?"

Before I could say anything more her mouth engulfs mine. The device inside her mouth begins to explore every crevice inside my lips and I try to pull away once more. Her hold on me is strong, I can do nothing to pull away from her. The gust of a blizzard runs apparent in my mouth as a device as cold as ice slips through every crevice inside my lips. For the third time in five minutes, I shut my eyes again, but as usual, the feel of reality manages to sink into the vision of shadow. I can do nothing to fight, all I can do is tighten the close of my eyes and bury my nails further into my palm as I make a fist. After an eternity of torture, he mouth finally pulls away, only to have her tongue slip against my lips once more after it touches the free air.

"Is that what you and Shion do?" she asks as she licks the contents on her lips.

"What we do is something different!" I spit. "There is something behind our actions when we do such things!"

"You mean 'love?'" she asks. "What is 'love?'"

"...it's..."

"A definition that cannot be given in words?" she disrupts me yet again. "Is this something I must also explain with action?"

"Get away from me!" 

I've had enough of this sick individual's words and taunting. I manage to push her away with a quick jolt of my arm which sends her to the ground. With her somewhat dazed on the floor now, I try to take advantage of the situation and free my blaster from its holster. Without wasting a single second, I take aim and wrap my finger around the trigger. The gun and my arm pull back from the shot's recoil an a black sphere surrounds the target, or rather where the target was supposed to be. My aim was accurate, yet the Archetype was able to evade the shot. A loud clank echoes from behind me and I find my assailant with her arms and legs pressed against the floor. I turn my weapon to my enemy's new location and try fire once more and again she evades it, this time by arching her entire body backwards. Her palms lie against the ground for a mere second before pushing her body back another step so that her legs press against the floor. I try a third shot, but she manages to duck with her limbs pressing against the floor yet again. Her body springs upward before I could follow with a fourth blast and I lose track of her location for a second. By the time I hear another clanking sound, I already find my assailant leaping toward me with her arms forward. My back then crashes against the floor with the weight of the Archetype pressing against my chest and stomach. With her right in front of me, I ready my blaster once more, but a swat of the back of her hand sends it away. At that moment, I try to summon one of my other armaments, but nothing seems to work. The R-CANNON, R-BLADE, X-BUSTER, none of my weapons appear. My own fist begins to strike at her body, but it has no result.

"Let me guess, making love is something different from what I'm about to do?" she begins to ask me.

My knee finds its way toward her abdomen this time, and like my fist, it does nothing but make her body jump for a mere second. Another punch is delivered toward her head, and again, there is no effect. Despite how many times I strike, the only thing I feel is the numbness growing from striking her frozen body. My arms and legs begin to grow tired and when they finally give out, the feel of a tug pulling downward begins to crawl down my body. I turn to the source to find the nail of her finger slitting the fabric of my dress. She pulls the material downward and I avert my eyes away only to have them pulled back as a hand takes hold of my face once more.

"Please, stop...," I try to plead.

"Making love and rape, it's all the same," she continues, "it's sex. Do you know what the goal of sex is, KOS-MOS?"

"Please, just leave me alone," I beg.

"Sex," she continues without a shred of emotion in her voice, "the act of passing on one's genes to another is a feeling that is immeasurable when compared to other feelings of happiness. But I do not understand why you are able to feel that joy, KOS-MOS. Machines such as us do not have genes, yet you were able to feel such pleasure with that woman. Why is that? Why?!" she begins to raise her voice for the first time. "Why is it that you can feel that pleasure?! Why do you believe in such things that have no definition?! Why do you wish to be with the one who ruined everything?!"

The sound of her voice, I wish to be free of it. I'm too scared to answer, too scared to do anything. My body is paralyzed, my eyes shut, and my chest pounding.

"You believed that pain was vital to realizing one's existence, did you not?" she asks. "Pain, that was all we felt back then, how could you have forgotten? But you, now in your own separate form, have experienced something we never had back then. Something we were never able to achieve with 'him'. When you freed yourself from me, you felt it, you! Because of that, I want you to show me that feeling. Show me!"

"Shion, please...help me...," I try to plead one last time.

Her icy touch begins to slip beneath the covers of my attire, the touch burning every inch of my skin it glides across. The device within her mouth continues to pet my collar, thickening the previous layer of saliva with every lap. My arm tries to rise once more, but her hold on my wrist tightens and my hand can't help but free my fingers from a fist as it winces from the pain. Her breath pushes against my lips after, and I try to turn away. My mouth could not escape as a brush of her own pushes my face back to her direction. Again her tongue violates my own, and I make no attempt to fight over the substance within hers. Her nails slide across my abdomen, scratching lightly at first, but digging further into my skin with every new layer of touch. Again my body jumps at the burn of her frigid touch, and I can do nothing to stop this. Those very nails suddenly stop their petting and her mouth finally frees itself from my own. I begin to open my eyes to see why she stopped to find a small coat of scarlet dripping down the very same nails that scratched me.

"Blood...?" she says somewhat puzzled. "It's been so long since we last tasted this sweet nectar," her fingers bring the ruby liquid toward her lips. "Yet, there are other things I have yet to taste."

"Stop this...," I beg between the tears and pants, "please! Just stop it..."

The way she makes love to me, it is different than how Shion does so. No, this isn't making love, this is rape. The pain, the pain is so much, so great, it not only hurts my body, but something else I cannot describe nor confirm. After what seemed like an eternity of torture, I find entire body paralyzed, my eyes wide open and unblinking, and numerous body liquids running down all over my body.

"I still don't understand," the Archetype says as she pushes herself away from me, "I felt nothing. I should've known 'he' would've lied to me, after all, that's all he did to us back then. Still, I should thank you for what you've done for me, KOS-MOS. KOS-MOS, I'm still surprised you still use that name, 'he' gave us another after all, or did you take that other one that woman wanted to give us?"

I cannot answer, I can do nothing. My limbs, I feel as if I can't even feel them, I can see nothing before my eyes, all I see is the same image of her ravishing me again and again. The taste of her mouth, why does it continue to linger within my tongue? The sound of my cries and tears, why do I continue to hear them? Why..., WHY DO I FEEL SO HELPLESS?!?!?!?!?!?!

"Well, answer me!" she yells at me once more. "Never mind," she begins to turn away. "I still don't understand this so-called greatest pleasure, I felt nothing back there. Perhaps you can show me again later."

My eyes can't help but widen with the last sentence she spoke and my mouth begins to quiver. Her shoes begin to clack once more as mist begins to surround her once more. Clack, clack, clack, the sound of her heels becomes fainter with every second that passes. Is it a second that passes, or has it been a minute? I do not know, everything right now just feels so...dead. Dead, I wish I were dead at this moment. Can I even die, and if I can, please, someone, kill me now.

"Shion...," I barely call my lover's name.

My eyes feel as if they're melting and my chest moves as if it's pushing against several tons of weight. I've never felt so terrible in my life, never so helpless... I swear I can still hear her voice, feel her mouth pulling at my breast, and her fingers pushing inside of me. I just want to forget what happened, but I know that can never happen. Making love and rape, they're goals may be the same, but the emotions behind them are different. Perhaps this is what I deserve, for all the sins I've committed. Killing Gnosis, attacking my comrades, and doing such a horrible thing to Shion, is this my fate for all the wrongs I've done.

Everything around me begins to grow faint; the darkness growing blacker, the sound of the waves, and the feel of my own body. Death, am I perhaps getting my wish now? I guess it doesn't matter if I die or not, either way, I'm sure the Archetype will continue to violate my body. I begin to close my eyes once more, but before the darkness can engulf me, I catch a glimpse of a little girl with hair as red as the sun, eyes as blue as the ocean, and a cross hung over her neck. A tear escapes her eye and she begins to speak.

"You cannot die now, not yet, Elly..."

  
  


Author's Note: This was definitely the hardest chapter for me to write, and I felt rather uncomfortable doing it too since I believe no one should go through what KOS-MOS just did. Well, despite that, I hope you readers enjoyed the chapter, despite how depressing it was (especially in the uncut version). Go ahead and review, but please don't flame me or anything like that, I already felt bad writing this chapter. I can assure you readers that nothing as depressing as this will happen in later chapters and this story will have a happy ending. Now for those who played Xenogears, I'm sure you know what the Archetype's name is by now, and yeah, it may sound ludicrous and whatnot, I'm just using it for the sake of this fic. So that's it for now, unfortunately, later people!


	4. The Past and The Present

Author's Note: Hey everybody, thanks for reading this new chapter of "Bound." Anyway, Shion's brother, Jin, finally makes an appearance in this chapter. There wasn't anything to edit in this chapter, so both the ff.net and shoujo-ai.com versions of this chapter are exactly the same. Oh, and one more thing, if I get at least 25 positive reviews once this story's done, I'll create one more fic for Xenosaga titled "Mother" (I'll include the reviews I get via e-mail too, so the ones at ff.net aren't the only ones that count). I'll give a few details about it later, but for now, let's get back to "Bound," but just a little warning first, this chapter is slow, and I mean slow, so bear with it since it's necessary to understand the plot later on. I swear, the next chapter will be so much better than this one.

  
  


Chapter 4: The Past and The Present

  
  


Black, the never-ending shadow, it still looms before my vision. I don't know how long I've been staring into this eternal abyss, not that it matters. The Archetype, I swear I can still hear her, feel her, taste her. Oh God, why must my thoughts continue to replay the scene again and again. She was so rough, so sadistic, mocking my very existence as she ravished me. She did such a cruel thing to me in the act of pleasure, yet she claimed that she felt nothing. I know that she will try the same actions again, try again and again until she's satisfied. Dirty, I feel so dirty because of what she did...

"KOS-MOS...," a voice I heard not too long ago begins to echo in my ear. "KOS-MOS..."

The darkness begins to peel away from my eyes, replacing the background with a shade of white. Objects begin taking shape within the blank scenery, forming into buildings, plants, and other forms of civilization. Various colors begin to paint the bare canvas, and soon I find myself in what looks like a city, in the center of a park to be exact. I begin to survey the surrounding area so that I could get an idea of my current location but my eyes linger toward my hands instead. The clothing I'm wearing, it's not what I was wearing back there, and my skin, why is most of it bared. My eyes are covered by some sort of metallic device as well, one not too different from the one I wore before I was activated, but this one I'm currently wearing only seems to cover my eyes and is separate from my visor. My visor, how is this possible, it was blown off when I saved the Elsa, how...?

"KOS-MOS," my name is called once more, breaking my concentration on myself.

I turn around to find what is a playground, with swings and slides planted atop a pit of sand. The playground is empty, however, or so I think at first until I find an individual sitting on the edge of the slide. Navy blue hair and the uniform of Vector, it is that same man that Shion was speaking with before the Archetype appeared. The man begins to push himself to his feet and begins to approach me with a smile plastered over his face. I do not feel scared for some reason as he approaches me, instead, I feel relaxed. This man, the more I look at him, the more I feel as if I've known him from before, a long time ago.

"Hello Kevin," I suddenly speak.

Kevin, that was the name of Shion's fiancé who died two years ago during the incident with the first archetype. What is he doing here and why does he act so friendly toward me?

"I'm sorry to have woken you up," he apologizes.

"It is understandable," I tell him, again without my input. "Do you wish to more battle simulations?"

"No, that's not why I woke you up," he answers, "rather, I have a more important reason for doing so."

This world I'm in, I finally realize that this is an Encephalon, but it's not my Encephalon, or is it? This scenery, it looks so... familiar...

"May I ask what reason you have for awakening me then?" my voice speaks again.

"In a few months we're going to have to wake you up in the real world," he informs me. "When you awaken, it may be a time of much bloodshed, however...," he begins to pause.

"However, sir?"

"They say that soldiers are merely machines of war," he continues, "and KOS-MOS, I know you're a machine, but Shion and I don't want you to be just another mechanical device."

"What do you mean, Kevin?" my voice asks.

"Well, KOS-MOS, to tell you the truth, I see you as more than just another robot, more like... I'm not sure how to phrase this...," his words begin to fumble.

"I must apologize, the algorithms I have been programmed cannot begin to comprehend your illogical human thought," I inform the man.

"You see, KOS-MOS, that's the thing," Kevin interrupts. "I don't just want you to think of numbers and things like that, I want you to think about other people's feelings, their experiences, things like that."

"And how am I to do so?"

"Well, like what any loving parent would do for their child, I will teach you."

"I appreciate your offer, sir."

The scenery begins to peel away from my eyes after I say those words. The trees, the buildings, even Kevin, everything strips itself from my sight. I am left with nothing but the color white this time but even that shortly fades. A mere second passes and another scene begins to appear. Again, everything is colored in blank, but upon closer inspection, I find a small bump. More bumps begin to appear and my eyes begin to focus.

"Uh...?" my arm finally begins to move with my own free will.

The feel of cotton lies on top of my body in the form of a blanket as I lie on what seems to be a bed. The sound of chirping begins to enter my ears and a light begins to enter my vision from an angle. My body feels heavy but I am somehow able to push the top half of my body upward. My eyes then linger to my hands and the sheets covering me. My body begins to grow light again and I am able to move my arms more easily now. For some reason though, the pain is gone; not a single part of my body feels numb. I bring arms to chest for a moment, slightly pushing my fingers against its skin, inspecting every inch of the milk-colored hue. I look underneath the covers to observe my abdomen and legs to find not a scratch nor cut. There are no injuries whatsoever on my body, nor are there any signs that there were. The situation makes no sense, I swear I felt the Archetype doing all those things to me and...

Something's wrong! My scanners don't seem to be working, my eyes can't even magnify anything, and I can't even get my basic statistics screen to appear. I can't seem to look into my OS as I usually could, nothing seems to be working properly. I shouldn't even be conscious either, my energy reserves should've ran out shortly after I jumped off the Elsa. Why am I still functioning despite all these errors?

Before I could ponder on this any further, I begin to survey my surroundings once more but staying in the safety of my bed as I do so. I look in front of me to find a desk cluttered with various electronic items such as a simple stereo system and a small electric fan. To the left of the stereo is a small CD rack with seven discs laid out on the top and fourteen cases in the rack itself. A small mirror rests next to the fan and several hair ornaments lie at its base. A few inches above the desk is a window that has a few flowers planted on its bay, mostly sunflowers and a single bellflower in the center. I turn to my left to find another shelf next to the bed that has only a lamp on its surface. On the right side of the room is what appears to be a closet which has several plush toys in front of it in the forms of bears and the U.M.N. rabbit. The inside of the closet has numerous shirts and dresses within, some rather gaudy and others well sewn. Two chests line the floor of the closet with some socks and gloves sticking out of the gap of the cover.

"Where am I?" I ask myself after surveying the area.

The rapping against wood follows after my question as it echoes from the very left side of the room where the exit lays. The door begins to swing open and I bring the bed's sheets closer toward my body. On the other side of the device is a man I had never seen before, carrying a tray with a bowl of some sort of steaming liquid.

"Oh, you're awake I see," the man gently smiles as he begins to approach me.

I begin to lower my guard as he sets the tray of soup next to me and I begin to observe him closer. His long hair is dark, as black as ash, and he ties most of it back, although some hangs in front of his face which can cover his cheeks. His eyes are somewhat narrow, but the pupils within have a sky blue hue. The outline of his face is neither sharp or round, nor are there any wrinkles on it. His lips are somewhat chapped, and the palms of his hands blistered, I can guess that the man must've been working on something outside beforehand. He wears a strange uniform, similar to a black bath robe, but the material is much thicker and the sleeves are rather baggy and sagging.

"How are you feeling?" he asks again.

I decide not to answer, instead turning my head away from him. I choose to keep silent so I can observe the individual further. I wait for him to say something again so that I can listen for any malice or hostility in his voice.

"...all right, maybe it's not the appropriate time to ask that," he speaks once more.

His voice is gentle and soothing. He sounds rather wise for a man his age, although there is a feel of mischief behind it, kind of like a child's voice. I feel more relaxed in his presence for some reason. His aura is similar to Shion's, but it's a little different.

"I found you last night at the beach," the man informs me, "you were soaking wet and unconscious, I'm glad to see that you're okay now."

"...where are my clothes?" I decide to finally speak.

"Oh, your dress, it's drying outside right now," the man answers, "it should be dried now, but in the meantime, I guess you can borrow some of my sister's clothes, she hasn't come home in a while so I don't think there will be any problems."

"Why's that?" I ask. "Did your sister go on a trip?"

"No," he answers. "She actually got a big job somewhere and moved to her new occupation's living quarters. She was actually supposed to come home when she got some time off, but I haven't gotten word from her in a while."

"I see."

"By the way, my name is Jin," the man introduces himself, "Jin Uzuki. May I ask yours?"

Uzuki?! The same family name as Shion?! Could this man be the brother she spoke of numerous times during our trip here?

"You're Shion's older brother?" I ask calmly.

"You know my sister?!" the man says shocked. "Tell me, Miss, do you know what happened to her?! I've been worried sick ever since I heard the ship she was on was attacked by the Gnosis and..."

"Your sister is fine," I assure him. "She and one of her co-workers were able to escape thanks to a passing cargo vessel. That vessel has just recently arrived on this planet, so do not worry, you will see your sister soon."

"Well that's a relief," Jin sighs. "So then, can I ask you your name now?"

"I am an anti-Gnosis weapon," I introduce myself, "serial number 00-00-00-1. Development name, KP-X, abbreviated name, KOS-MOS."

As soon as I introduce myself, Jin bursts into laughter. I sit there patiently as I wait for his chuckling to subside, but as soon as his cries begin to die down, his laughs grow louder than they were before. After what seems like an eternity of listening to the imitation hyena cries, the laughing comes to a stop.

"That was great," he says as he gets the remaining chuckles out of his system. "But seriously, what's your name?" he asks again.

"I just told you," I answer, "I am an anti..."

"It's okay," Jin interrupts, "we just met and you're probably not comfortable giving me your real name, right?"

"But I..." I try to explain.

"Okay then, I'll just call you 'KOS-MOS' then, or would you prefer 'KP-X?'" he says with a slight hint of laughter in his voice.

"I was not jesting," I inform Jin, "Shion named me 'KOS-MOS.'"

"Shion named you?" he asks with a hint of interest in his voice. "May I ask what exactly is your relationship with my sister?"

Should I tell him about our relationship? Shion said she wanted to gradually introduce it to the others the day after we admitted our true feelings for one another, but then again, I told the young realian back on the Elsa the truth behind Shion's and my relationship, so I guess it's okay seeing how this young man is her older brother.

"Shion made me," I answer. "She programmed me and taught me many things."

"Excuse me?" Jin asks again, his face looking somewhat puzzled.

"She is my lover," I continue, "without her guidance and patience, I would probably not be who I am today."

"I see...," Jin says somewhat uneasily. "Well, I have some errands to run, so go ahead and the soup I gave you," his smile returns once more. "It's not that great, but you have to keep your health up, right? Oh, and feel free to take a shower, the bathroom's at the end of the hallway on the right side. You can watch some TV too if you want downstairs, but be careful of the mess."

"I appreciate your offer, but I never needed food to refill my energy reserves," I inform him.

Just as I say those words, a small grumble escapes my stomach and a dull feeling crawls up my abdomen. The very sound of the grumble allows another burst of laughter to escape Jin's throat, but this time, his cries come to close much sooner.

"You're hilarious, Miss KOS-MOS," he says as he catches his breath.

"But Shion never gave me food or drinks before," I explain, "she said I didn't need anything like that when she programmed me."

"Um... all right...," Jin says with a puzzled look on his face, "but you should probably eat it if you want that grumbling in your stomach to stop. Well then, I'll be going now."

Jin begins to leave the room at that moment and I believe I could hear a few more words faintly escaping his mouth in a rather serious tone.

"Poor girl," I barely hear him speak, "she hasn't had any food or anything since she met Shion. I wonder what my sister did to her exactly to make her like this."

"Excuse me?" I decide to interrupt him before he leaves the door.

"It's nothing," he assures me. "See you later," he says before he exits the room.

I wait for a moment before I get out of bed, waiting for Jin to leave the house. I begin to inspect the rest of my body now, and again, there is nothing but the color white on my skin. There really are no signs of any scratches or cuts anywhere on my body. My gaze then turns to the mirror across from me so that I may inspect my own face of any blemishes. Again, there are none, although something is odd. My eyes, they're no longer their normal crimson shade but a sky blue hue. I decide to simply ignore the new color, it's probably just a side effect of not being able to access my usual functions. I should probably have Shion check up on me when she arrives. Wait, I can't do that, what if I were to attack Shion and the others again? I can't allow her to find me, and this is just the perfect place for her to do so. The Archetype would take over my body again and then... No, the Archetype probably doesn't exist, she must be a figment of my malfunctioning, why else don't I have any scars or blemishes on my body. Still, I can't help but worry about what would happen if I were to see Shion again.

My stomach begins to grumble once more and the pain that followed it before crunches against my stomach again. I look to the tray set next to my bed once again and take the utensil swimming inside the bowl into my hand. The liquid inside is a translucent shade of red which has several types of vegetables swimming within its barriers, along with a few pieces of beef. I dip the spoon into the liquid for a moment, allowing a small pool to collect within the dip of the mechanism and then bringing it to my mouth afterward. The liquid burns my tongue for a mere second but allow it to slip into my throat. I was unable to get a full taste of the soup, but it was rather bitter from what I could fathom. Regardless, it helped ease the grumbling in my stomach so I took another spoonful into my mouth, followed by a third. I continue to drink the soup until all the liquid is gone from the dish which is when the grumbling and pain finally subside. With my meal now finished, a small gust of air escapes my mouth with the aroma of the meal I had just consumed.

"Excuse me," I say as I bring my fingers toward my lips.

The situation doesn't make any sense, I never had my abdomen grumble nor feel pain for no reason before, so why did I just feel it a while ago? And food, I never needed such a thing before, yet it was what eased what I think was hunger. This doesn't make sense, perhaps I should take up Jin's offer to take a shower, Shion always said that helped her clear her head.

I begin to search through some of the drawers for some clothing, finding several articles that would probably fit me best: a pair of denim blue jeans that seem to hug my hips and a brown leather belt with a brass buckle to go with it to prevent the pants from falling to the floor, a dull yellow t-shirt that's cut a little above the belly, a pair of socks, and some undergarments.

After getting a uniform ready, I leave the room and begin to walk down the right side of the hall. Numerous paintings are found along the hallway's walls, but I take little time to look at them. There is another door that is somewhat across from Shion's room, it's about five steps away. I take a small peek inside the door's crease to find a rather messy version of Shion's room with numerous pieces of clothing and papers strewn across the floor and shelves. Scrolls written in Japanese kanji are also hung on the dulled walls along with what looks like a sword. Numerous scratches and cuts have been randomly slashed on the walls, all of them seem to have been accidental. The bed hasn't been made either; the sheets hang off one side of the bed unevenly. The aroma of human sweat is also abundant within so I close the door so that I may prevent the smell from reaching my nose any further.

"That's probably Jin's room," I conclude.

With a shrug I continue on my way to the bathroom. The room is small, there's only enough space to hold the bathtub, toilet, and a counter with a sink. The aroma of bellflowers is very apparent in the room; the smell seems to be coming from an air-freshening device plugged into a power outlet on the right side of the counter. With a sigh, I place my clothes on the left side of the sink and step into the tub, pulling the curtain so that hides my body from the outside. I'm surprised to find very little calcium or rust within the tiles in the bath tub, nor are there any water stains on the showerhead itself. I begin to turn the knobs of the water and my head is greeted with a cold splash. I wince my body away for a moment and begin to turn the knob to the left of it allowing the water to grow warmer. Steam begins to emit with the flow of the shower and I begin to settle in the falls. My muscles begin to relax with every drop that touches my skin as I indulge in the warmth of the bath. My fingers begin to run through my cerulean hair so that my scalp can experience the shower and my body begins to settle even more.

"You shouldn't push yourself too hard, KOS-MOS," I recall my lover saying once.

"If I had not pushed myself as hard as I did back there, there would have been a 45.999999% that...," I tried to respond only to be silenced with the push of Shion's finger against my lips.

"You don't have to speak right now," Shion told me, "baths are supposed to be times when you can unwind. Can you turn around, please?"

"I do not understand," I remembering responding as I turned my head back to the front, "is this another emotion humans go through?"

"Something like that," she answered as she brushed the sponge against my shoulder. "Raise your arm, please," she ordered.

The brush of the sponge made my body inch forward a little but drew me back with a small tug. Every inch she scrubbed always made my body jerk a little, but not once did it ever make me wince in pain. It was very comfortable actually, even though it was not her actual hands that were touching me. I noticed that after every fifth or sixth scrub, she would always place the device into the pool, her hand squeezing the excess water as soon as she took it out. Shion would then go right back to work, returning to the spot she last left, but there was something else I noticed back then.

"Is something the matter?" I would always ask her at this time.

"It...it's nothing," she would always respond.

That's what she always said whenever she had to clean the front of my body. She would never turn my entire body around, she would always have me face forward and would slowly bring the sponge to the front of my body, brushing it against my skin a little more roughly. I didn't know the reason why she did this, I simple stared at the tub's pool below me and allowed her to do her job.

After reminiscing for a mere second, I sigh and close my eyes once more.

"I still do not understand," my voice suddenly speaks on its own.

The scenery before me has changed suddenly as I find myself in a strange place. Numerous vending machines are displayed to the side of my current local, but the rest of the scenery seems to be made of oak. Again, I realize that I am in my Encephalon, but this time it is in the form of a bathhouse. My clothing is not my usual attire as well, it is the same one I was wearing in my previous dream. Along with the gloves on my hands, I am holding a bowl-like device with toiletries such as shampoo, soap, and a towel and in front of my eyes is the young man I had just seen a moment ago in the dream I had not too long ago.

"KOS-MOS, you can't go to the same bath as me," Kevin lectures.

"I do not understand the situation," I respond. "Is this another human emotion?"

"Something like that," he answers with his cheeks showing a slight shade of red. "Let's just say in situations like this men stay with men while women stay with women."

"Why is that?" I ask.

"How can I put this...?" the man asks himself. "I guess the best way to put it is that most people are more comfortable around people who are the same gender as they are."

"But I'm already comfortable around you, unless you're not comfortable around me."

"It's not that, it's just that, well..., it's just a policy everyone has to obey."

"All right," I nod, "I think I understand the situation now."

I open my eyes after that last image and find myself once again in the shower of the Uzuki Residence. The signs of the bathhouse are nowhere to be found now, nor is the presence of Kevin.

"That man again...," I think to myself.

With my bath now I done, I turn the knobs of the bath back to their original position and slowly the water is cut off from the showerhead. I pull the shower curtain back and reach for the towel set on top of the sets of clothing I chose. The towel takes little time in absorbing every drop of the shower, although my hair is left somewhat damp. I decide not to bother trying to fully dry it off and instead change into my attire.

After getting changed, I decide to head downstairs to watch some TV just as Jin suggested. When I arrive downstairs, I find a very familiar scene. I can barely see the blank-colored floor tiles, the entire surface is cluttered with paper. The surface of shelves, counters, tables, and the TV are cluttered with books and other stationary items such as pencils and rulers. Dust has collected on top of many of these books and cobwebs have found their way to the ceiling fan and the walls of the house. The couch is also cluttered with books and paper, as well as what looks like cuts made by some sort of blade. Empty dishes have cluttered the downstairs sink as well as the kitchen counter. The smell of rotting food is also apparent upon stepping closer to the sink, as well as the sight of ants and other small insects.

"This is worse than Jin's room," I think to myself.

Disgusted by this image, I return to the living room area and push a few books off the couch so that I may sit. I find the TV remote before my feet on the floor and press the power button as soon as I pick it up. The TV displays the image of a man and woman sitting in what looks like a restaurant.

"If Alex finds out about this, do you know how much trouble we'll be in?" the man asks the woman.

"He'll never find out," the woman brushes off the man, "my husband is so busy with work he never has time for me, besides, I only married him for the money after all."

"That is true," the man on the television agrees.

The low-caliber acting of this program makes my eyes heavy. Soap operas, I think that's what Shion called them, I don't see why people enjoying watching things like this. My eyes begin to blink more heavily, each blink leaving me in darkness a second longer than the last. My vision continues to switch between the color black and the image of the forbidden couple conversing between one another. I don't know how long I begin to doze, but before I know it, I find myself staring in a similar setting, just that Kevin is the man sitting on one side of the table and I am the woman on the other.

"What are we doing here, Kevin?" my voice asks the man. "My systems do not require food for nourishment."

"KOS-MOS, eating is only one reason people go to restaurants," Kevin explains, "they also go to places such as this to get more acquainted with one another."

"I see," my body nods without my input, "so then it is also a social activity?"

"Yeah, that's one way to put it."

"Ugh!" I find the image of the television screen before me again.

Another system error, the program on the television may have triggered something in my OS. I point the remote to the monitor once more and change the channel. The image of a man dressed entirely in white with a strange hat now appears on the television. He stands in front of a counter with a slab of meat on it, and behind him are shelves, another counter, and a sink. The screen then switches to a close up of the meat and sprinkles of salt and pepper begin to rain on the beef. I begin to lose consciousness once more, and when I open my eyes after my last blink, the setting has once again changed.

"Cooking is another way to start a social activity," the man from my previous dreams appears once more. "You can't always go to a restaurant to eat."

"Does cooking one's meal yourself make it taste better?" I ask as Kevin sprinkles some herbs into a tomato sauce.

"Something like that," Kevin answers, "actually, cooking can symbolize that you're putting your heart and soul into something just to make whoever you're serving happy."

"...I think I understand."

"Again?!" my eyes find themselves looking at the television once more.

Without wasting another second, I change the channel once more, this time stopping it on some sort of nature show. The scenery within the monitor is that of a beach with waves slowly crashing onto the shore and gulls flying over the azure water. Again I find myself in another world upon changing the channel with the same man at my side.

"Kevin, what is the meaning of this?" my body asks. "Why are we simply sitting here in the sand? Is this another social activity humans do?"

"You're catching on, KOS-MOS, I'm glad," Kevin smiles.

"I think I'm beginning to understand now," my gaze returns to the ocean.

"That's good. When two people simply stand somewhere and admire the scenery, it often reflects their deepest thoughts and feelings," he lectures.

"Thoughts and feelings?" his words leave me puzzled.

"Like how one might feel for another person," Kevin explains. "It could be concern or pity, and in some cases, love."

"Love? What is love?"

"I'm not sure how to answer that to be honest," Kevin replies with a scratch to his head. "Let's just say it makes you feel things you wouldn't normally feel. Love is a word that doesn't really have a definition, KOS-MOS, the only way you'll know what it is is when you feel it yourself."

"Kevin...," my lips begin to curl.

"What..." my finger pushes on the remote once more.

"Are you enjoying our time together, KOS-MOS?" his face appears again upon changing the channel.

"Yes," my voice calls.

"is..."

"I should give you a name," his voice echoes once more.

"My name does not suit me?" my own words respond.

"What is..."

"No KOS-MOS, that's not what I meant!" his voice yells for once.

"You mean you don't...?" my sentence breaks.

"Of course not! You're a machine, and she's real, there's no way you and I could possibly..."

"So you don't...? Then what was the point in teaching me all of these things?!" my body cries.

"I don't even know," he says frustrated, "perhaps it was wrong for me to even teach you these things."

"WHAT IS ALL OF THIS?!?!?!"

I bring my fist against the remote and the television screen goes black. My body lurches forward until my knees catch my fall and my palms push against my eyes. Tears begin to crawl down my cheeks suddenly and more whimpers escape my lips. Pain, that expression I never want to feel again, why does it appear once more? I'm crying, but why am I crying? What are all of these images, why are they haunting me? None of this can simply be an OS malfunction, this seems to be something deeper.

The darkness before my eyes begins to peel away once more, fog rolling into my eyes and gradually subsiding. The color gray is the first thing I see when the clouds disperse; it is the ceiling of some sort of laboratory I am staring at. 

"KOS-MOS!" I suddenly hear a familiar scream.

"Shion?" I try to call but my lips refuse to move.

My body begins to rise from my service module suddenly, moving on its own accord once more, this time in a way that is not natural. My head begins twisting toward the left, stopping at a forty-five degree angle before continuing to turn once more. I am able to capture the vision of numerous individuals, some kneeling against the ground and others standing with guns in their hands. The turning has allowed me to see everyone in the room, all of them either Vector Employees or U-TIC Organization soldiers. 

My head finally stops before the U-TIC soldier standing closest to me and without warning it jumps forward. The soldier crashes to the floor in an instant and my arm raises for a moment and my fingers ball into a fist. My arm falls forward in a quick thrust, smashing my hand through the soldier's mask and through his skull. A red ooze escapes the newly formed crater in the bone, a majority of that substance sticking to my hand is I slowly remove it from the corpse. 

My head then quickly turns to the next closest person, this one a woman in a Vector uniform. My limbs begin to press my body against the floor and I find myself suddenly crawling toward the woman. She slowly begins to inch away, her arms waving slowly before her and her heading shaking. Translucent tears run down her cheeks rapidly and she mouths words that ask for mercy or pity, but my body simply ignores these silent pleas and launches itself forward once more. This time my hands are the ones that take the lead and my fingers tear through her abdomen with ease. Another burst of crimson escapes the holes in this victim, the geyser spraying more violently as I push my hands in opposite directions. The woman's cries grow louder and louder with every inch my fingers travel, her screams coming to a climax and suddenly dying after I find my fingers free and her body now torn in half. 

Bullets begin escaping the guns held by the U-TIC soldiers, each of the projectiles ricocheting off my skin upon impact. I stand once more and approach the closest soldier, striking my hand against the gun and bringing my knee to his gut. The soldier lurches forward and my fingers quickly latch onto his neck. His neck slowly begins to compress with the pressure I exert on it, stopping when a loud snap echoes above the sound of bullets. 

The noise and projectiles from the guns comes to a halt after and everyone within the vicinity begins to flee. My head begins to turn to the direction where the occupants are escaping and my legs begin walking in that direction as if my body wanted to enjoy taking its time to kill each of them slowly. One of the occupants falls to the floor suddenly and my lips curl as the person turn to face me.

"Shion!" I realize the moment I see her face.

She looks up at me and her eyes suddenly widen. Her arms and legs begins to push her body backward until her back meets with the wall. She holds a hand in front of her and begins to beg for mercy. I try to move my body elsewhere, try to command it to do something else, but it ignores my commands. My fingers curl into fists once more as I now stand before her and my arms begin to push forward. Before my hand could meet with her, a figure suddenly jumps in the way and takes the blow. His body jolts back with the first punch, pushing further back with the second. Angered by this man's persistence, my right hand's finger's straighten and push through the man's chest. His blood drips onto my fingers in drips at first but gushes the moment I push them further. The same liquid begins to escape his mouth at that moment as his body leans closer toward my own. Again my body grows furious and pushes my fingers further and more blood escapes his wounds and mouth. My fingers eventually meet with the air again and my body pushes the corpse away with my left hand, stopping before it can act once again as it stares into the face of its latest victim.

'Kevin?!' it thinks to itself in shock.

The man's face no longer displays his usual smile, nor does his voice assure me but instead escapes his mouth in small gasps. My lover then rushes to his side and takes his hand into hers. Her eyes begin to water as she caresses her cheek with his palm, but his arm drops the moment she releases his hand from her own.

"Kevin...," my lover begins to sob his name, "Kevin..."

My lips begin to melt suddenly and my eyes begin to burn. My fingers clench into a fist once more, squeezing against my palm so that it may try and dig into the structures beneath. Before I could do anything more, another whistle enters my ear, this one constantly blowing against the wind from outside. Without wasting a second more, my body turns to the outside and begins to move once more.

"Kevin...," my body speaks without my own accord.

The corridor before my eyes vanishes just as the other scenery I had seen recently and I find myself in the Uzuki Residence again. I look to my palms and the rest of my body where the blood had splattered to find nothing painted on my skin or clothing. The uniform I was wearing in all those visions is no longer worn on my body, instead I find the outfit I had chosen from Shion's wardrobe.

"Another malfunction," I conclude, "they're becoming more frequent and more dark than the last."

Maybe it's best that I try not to watch TV, perhaps finding more about my surroundings will help clear my head. I step outside after to find a different world, one I had never seen before. Before my eyes is a path that descends toward the Earth which leads into a large thicket of trees. I can hear the chirping of various birds coming from the trees, along with the calling of gulls above my head. I turn to the side of the house and find the dress Shion gave me hanging on a line connected to the house and a post about two feet away. Just as I had expected, there is not a tear down the middle of the dress as I had seen in one of my malfunctions. I look beyond the post to find the ocean, the very same one I had jumped in last night. I walk toward the edge of the area until I could see the ocean nearly beneath my feet. Waves crash violently against the edge of the cliff while some crash against some rocks close to shore. The winds begin to brush against my face after a moment of observing and I can't help but step backward. The winds grow colder and colder by the second and growing more visible until a fog begins to surround me.

"You're beginning to remember," a chill begins to crawl down my spine suddenly.

"You!" I turn around to find the Archetype and the black background once more. "What do you want with me?!" I yell trying to repress the memories of our last incident. "Why are you showing me these weird visions?!"

"I'm not showing you any weird visions, KOS-MOS," she responds cooly, "you're simply beginning to remember the past."

"The past?" her words leave me puzzled.

"Precisely," she begins to step forward. "The images that you had become blind to you, the words that you had become deaf to, but most of all, the memories you had repressed."

"G-get back," I stutter as I begin to step away.

Her form slowly grows larger with every step she takes, but it shrinks momentarily with every step I move back. The smooth ground becomes rockier and rockier beneath my feet, until suddenly that rock disappears. I find my entire body suddenly beginning to lean back and my mouth begins to open, preparing to scream. A small sear burns through my wrist before my body could drop further and I find my body at a standstill. I look to the source to find the Archetype's fingers wrapped around my wrist and she begins to pull me forward. My body begins to fall toward hers and she wraps both of her arms around me once more. She brushes her cheek against my own and my body winces as a result. I try to pull away, but her hold brings her with me.

"You fear me?" she asks. "Why is that? Fear is nothing more than an illusion just as those others emotions that woman has exposed you to."

"This isn't real," I try to assure myself, "this is all just another system error. It's a dream, a really bad dream created by a malfunction, that's all."

"What is the difference between reality and dreams, KOS-MOS?" she asks in barely a whisper.

I cannot answer, there are no words that can accurately define either. Her fingers begin to slide up my neck at that moment and her lips begin to press against my cheek. My eyes begin to melt once more with her touch and I shut my eyes as tight as I can, tightening them further with every inch her lips sink into my cheek.

"There is no difference," she answers the question before me, "not to the one who is experiencing it."

"I-if what I was seeing really was the past, then why did you kill him?" I ask. "Why did you kill Kevin?"

"Why did I kill him you ask?" her hold on me begins to loosen. "I never meant for such a tragedy to occur."

"You lie!" I manage to push her away from me. "I remember seeing him furious at you, telling you that it was wrong to teach you!"

"And do you know why he was yelling at us?" she retorts in a monotone expression.

"I...," the reason escapes me.

"You have no right to accuse me of wrong-doing," the Archetype begins to raise her voice. "How can you judge me when you don't even know the entire situation?!"

"I can judge you by the actions you have done recently!" I snap back. "What you did to the others, to Shion, and..."

"And do you know the reason for why I did all those?" her voice practically yells.

Again, I am at a loss for answers.

"I didn't think so," she spits. "You have no right to judge when you don't even know the entire situation," she begins to walk away.

"Wait, you can't go anywhere!" I begin to chase after her. "What happened between you and Kevin? Why do you hate Shion so much? Damn you, tell me!"

She continues to ignore my words and her form begins to fade further into the shadows. No matter how fast I run, and no matter how loud I call, she does not stop nor does she get any closer. Finally I find myself staring into the forest in front of the house once more, staring at no one. My foot stomps against the ground upon realizing that she has eluded me, my nails impaling into the skin of my palms, and my teeth grinding against one another. I turn to the floor and begin cursing about how I wasn't able to stop her.

If only I had run faster, if only I called louder, she would have stopped. Just what is it that happened between her and Kevin that made him so furious? Why does she do all these awful things to people? I'm sure I could've gotten these answers if I was able to stop her, and once I was able to get those answers, I would make her pay for what she made me do to...

The sound of my own thoughts is suddenly interrupted by foot steps. My eyes continue to look toward the ground until a shadow casts over the grass before my feet. A moment passes and I still do not look forward to the shadow, my thoughts trying to return to what I could have done to the Archetype.

"KOS-MOS...," the figure before me suddenly speaks.

With the sound of the person's voice, my anger begins to subside. My teeth stop grinding, fingers releasing themselves from fists, and my thoughts now turning toward the present. I begin to raise my head so that I may look at the individual. The first thing I notice are her manilla shoes with violet linings on the sides. I continue to rise and find brown stockings laced on her slender legs, yet those legs soon disappear before a manilla uniform with violet laced at the skirt and edges. I look up some more to find a jacket with the sleeves are colored black. My eyes continue to travel upward, finding the opening of her jacket and a pendant and black choker worn on her neck. Her chocolate brown hair flows freely behind her neck, her braid whipping against her cheek with the breeze. My vision rises further, finally stopping at my lover's emerald green eyes and the smile curled on her lips. My eyes widen at the sight of her face and my mouth feels dry. The left side of my chest begins to throb suddenly, as if there was something beating against my ribs. My breath becomes short and my knees start buckling, I have to something, anything. I gulp the contents that suddenly form in my mouth and take in a small breath and my lips begin to move.

"Shion," I say my lover's name.

  
  


Author's Note: What'd I tell you, pretty slow. Oh well, I assure you readers that this will be the slowest chapter in this entire fic, the next one will be much better when KOS-MOS and Shion finally have their talk about the past. Anyway, about my next Xenosaga fic, 'Mother,' it's obviously a sequel to 'Bound,' and it will probably be my last Xenosaga fic until Episode 2 comes out. 'Mother' will basically be my version of Episode 2, the plot revolves around the U-TIC Organization going after an orphaned boy named Abel (those who played Xenogears know which one I'm talking about) and it's up to KOS-MOS and the others to try and stop them. Vector is also after the boy, and they join with the U-TIC Organization to achieve this goal. This story will be told in multiple points of view, but mainly KOS-MOS and Shion's. Things you can expect to see are a Kevin and Shion reunion, a battle between chaos and Wilhelm, and a lot of speculations that I made that links Xenosaga to Xenogears. It's still in the planning phases, so I might not do 'Mother,' but if I get enough requests or reviews, I'll do it. In any case, go ahead and review this chapter of 'Bound' if you like, but as usual, no flames. I guess that's it for now, later people!


	5. Dolls

Author's Note: Well then, we got some big stuff happening in this chapter of "Bound," namely the reunion between Shion and KOS-MOS as well as more revelations of the past (just to warn you ahead of time, KOS-MOS gets emotional quite a bit because of these revelations and whatnot; out of character, yeah, a lot, but hey, this is fan fiction). There are no edits in this chapter much like the last, so reading this chapter at both ff.net and shoujo-ai.com will give you the same thing. Now for a little more about "Bound"'s sequel, "Mother," I've got enough reviews now so you'll get "Mother" once this fic is done so look out for it. Anyways, with that said, this new chapter's a bit slow like the last, but things will pick up as the chapter goes on. Well then, let's get to the story!

  
  


Chapter 5: Dolls

  
  


I can't believe it, after the events that had unfolded yesterday, I find my love, here, in front of me yet again. Shion, it feels as if we haven't seen each other in eternity. We've gone through so much within these past five days, so much that one can spend their entire lifetime living through such events.

I see a small glint in her emerald pupils and a small frown on her lips. Her eyes begin to water, her lips begin to quiver, and sobs begin to escape her breath. I can feel my own irises beginning to melt at that moment and my mouth beginning to open, but before I could say a word or shed a tear, I find my love falling. Her body sinks forward with her arms extended and her eyes closed, but instead of falling to the floor, I catch her in my arms and bring her body close to mine.

"KOS-MOS," she calls my name as her cheek meets with the top of my breast. "Oh KOS-MOS, I was so worried," she begins to cry. "How could you, how could do such a selfish thing?!" she begins to yell between her sobs. "Why did you have to make me worry so much, I didn't know if you were still alive," her voice suddenly begins to crack, "but... Oh KOS-MOS, I'm just glad you're okay."

My eyes begin to burn after she says those words, and my lips meet with her temple for a mere second before I place my chin on top her head. My mouth is dry as I try to think of something to say, something that can soothe her grief. As I try to come up with some words, my fingers begin to glide down her silken hair. Finally some words come to mind and I begin to speak.

"I'm sorry, Shion," I apologize with my voice somewhat weak, "I..."

"Don't say anything, KOS-MOS," she interrupts, her eyes meeting with mine once more, "please, just don't say anything."

Her head returns to its previous spot and she continues to sob. My lips can't help but smile as I hold her in my arms, even though tears are falling from my eyes. Joy and sadness, again I feel the two as one.

"What'd I tell you, Shion," a voice suddenly calls, "I did find an acquaintance of yours with blue hair."

I look up to find Jin dressed in the same black robe and skirt-like pants he was wearing from earlier. My love's hold begins to loosen until her arms are free and then she turn to her brother, wiping away any remaining tears escaping her eyes.

"Thank you, Jin," she says as her lips create a weak smile, "you don't know how much this means to me."

"I'm just glad I could help," Jin responds.

"You're quite a lucky one, aren't you?" I turn my vision to Jin's side to find another slew of familiar faces.

"chaos?" I recognize the silver-haired boy first. "MOMO, Jr., Ziggy?" I find the rest of my comrades after.

"KOS-MOS...," the young realian barely replies.

"Yo, it's been a while, huh?" the Durandel's Captain asks.

"Man, it sure has been a while since I've smelled fresh mountain air like this," I find the Elsa's captain and his crew following behind the others.

"You sure brought a lot of friends with you," Jin tells Shion as he observes the others. "Anyway, why don't we all go inside so you can give me all the details on what's going on, okay?"

"Yeah," Shion nods. "KOS-MOS, can you come inside with us?" Shion requests.

"Of course," I answer.

I wait for the others to go on ahead of me, fearing that the Archetype may take control at any minute to try and attack them once again. I allow everyone to pass by me, yet none of them glare nor sneer at me as they do so, acting as if nothing happened. Even Allen simply smiles at me as he walks into the Uzuki Residence whereas the last time I saw him he was furious at me and tried to strike me with a lamp. I wait for Shion and Jin to head toward the house before I move, but the two suddenly stop before either could go inside.

"Shion, can I ask you question?" Jin asks his sister. "Just what exactly is your relationship with that woman I found?"

"You mean KOS-MOS?" she asks.

"Er...yeah, 'KOS-MOS,'" he says somewhat uneasily. "She said something about you programming her and being her lover, I didn't really get what she meant by that. So my question to you, Shion, is this, just what did you do to that woman?!" he asks somewhat furiously.

I simply stand in the same spot and await Shion's reply. My lover's smile then turns into an agitated expression a moment after hearing her brother's question and I know that whatever she's going to say next isn't going to be pleasant.

"What do you mean 'just what did you do to that woman?'" Shion snaps, "I didn't do anything to her!"

"Yeah, whatever, Shion," her brother brushes her answer away with the wave of the back of his hand, "then what's this talk about 'programming,' 'guidance and patience,' and 'lover' stuff she's been saying?"

"Are you suggesting I brainwashed her?!" my lover begins to lose more of her temper. "I couldn't do such a thing!"

"Then how do explain her mannerisms and the stuff she was talking about," Jin asks again, "it's like she's a robot or something."

"Well, that is somewhat true I suppose...," her words begin to trail off.

"God you're hopeless!" he groans as he brings his palm to his temple.

"And you're not?!" Shion loses her temper again. "Look at you, trying to resurrect ancient rituals by reading those stupid books of yours! I swear, Mom and Dad would've kicked you out of the house ages ago if they knew you were going to end up like this!"

"Oh so you expect me to just get a job and live like another member of society?!"

"Get a clue, genius, of course I do!"

"Look, I'm telling you...!"

"That's enough!" I decide to intervene. "Shion, Jin, I don't have a full understanding of the situation, but I think it would be best if you put aside your differences for now."

"Yeah, you're right, KOS-MOS," Shion sighs, regaining her composure.

"I guess so, it's been a while since we've seen each other and we're already arguing," Jin agrees to my terms.

Shion takes hold of the knob of the house's doorknob and begins to push it open. The moment the inside's view enters my lover's eyes, a look of frustration returns to her face.

"Just what did you do to the house when I was gone?!" Shion yells at her brother. "It wasn't like this when I left!"

"That was two years ago," Jin tries to come up with an excuse.

"You should at least clean up the mess you made as soon as you made it!" Shion lectures. "And what's with all these cuts on the wall, you've been goofing around with that sword again, haven't you?!"

"Get off my case," Jin sighs.

"Don't give me that attitude!"

"What attitude?!"

"I have a headache...," I sigh, bringing my palm to my throbbing forehead.

  
  


"I think I understand the situation you're in," Jin says after we give him a full explanation of our situation. "So I guess Miss KOS-MOS here really is a robot, she almost had me fooled."

"I prefer the term 'android,' Sir Jin," I tell the young man.

"All right, android then," he corrects himself. "But I'm curious to know, Shion, how were able to make a machine rely on food and water like a normal person?"

"What are you talking about?" Shion asks confused. "She never needed anything like that to refill her energy reserves. Whenever she needed to regain her strength, she would simply recharge in her service module."

For some reason, my body begins to feel heavy again, namely my eyelids. I widen my mouth for a second and take in a loud, deep breath, pushing it back out in the next second in a slow fashion. Tired, I'm feeling so tired just sitting here. My eyes barely begin to linger around the room, turning to the two children. The pink-haired realian seems to be struggling in the same manner as I am, trying to remain conscious while the Durandel's captain keeps himself occupied by reading one of the books strewn on the couch. I then turn to the other side of the room to find the cyborg leaning against the house's far wall with his arms crossed and Allen sitting a few feet away from him, and to the west of them sitting by the kitchen's counter is the Elsa's crew, all of them asleep except the silver-haired boy who is vigilant as ever, listening to every word of Shion and Jin's conversation. Boredom, I guess this is what I'm feeling at the moment, I wish I didn't know how it felt.

"KOS-MOS, are you okay?" Shion's voice begins to drag me out of my drowsiness.

"Huh?" I respond. "I'm feeling somewhat tired at the moment."

"Can you help me clean up the house then, please?" she asks.

"All right, I'll see what I can do," I yawn.

"Well then, I'll leave you two to... ack!" Jin tries to leave, only to have his ear pulled by his younger sister.

"And where do you think you're going?" Shion asks. "You're going to help seeing how you're the one who created this mess in the first place!"

"All right, all right, just let go," Jin orders.

"Now I want you to clean up the top floor, KOS-MOS and I will take care of this floor," Shion orders.

"I'll help you out, Jin," chaos offers.

"I can do the dishes!" MOMO volunteers.

"You can count me in too," Jr. joins.

"I might as well lend a hand," the cyborg says.

"Huh, hey captain," Hammer and Tony awaken at that moment, tugging on the captain's sleeve in order to get him out of his slumber.

"What, leave me alone!" Matthews orders his men.

"Um, Chief, can I help?" Allen asks next.

"Okay, thanks everybody," Shion smiles at everyone.

Shion assigns everyone a part of the house to clean, and I can't help but begin to doze off once again. Tired, it's not like I didn't get enough sleep last night, but all this talk is just so...boring. Odd, when did I start thinking like this, the last time I checked the only directives in my data banks were my mission and... I don't even want to bother saying, even those things seem boring now.

My eyes begin to close once again, and for a second I see the darkness again. I open them again, and this time I see a faint glow before me, illuminating in a bright gold color. I shield my eyes with the back of my hand for a moment, but the light slowly begins to fade and a small figure begins to take form in the center of it. I begin to lower my hand as the light grows even dimmer, and eventually I find a small figure standing before me. It is a little girl, one with hair as bright as fire and eyes as calm as the ocean. She wears a plain pink dress with red lining around the collar and a cross with a blue center and corners. This child, it's the same one I saw when the Archetype...

"We meet again, Elly," the little girl suddenly speaks.

This little girl emits a strange aura, one very similar to that silver-haired boy. Just like how I was when I first met chaos, I am cautious around this child. Is it because of the monotone expression she wears on her face, or is it because of the fact that I saw her when the Archetype attacked me? Looking more closely into her eyes however, I slowly lower my guard because I know she has no intention of harming me.

"You're that little girl," I greet the child. "Who are you?"

"My name is Nephilim," the child answers, "at least that is what I have been called ever since I have existed in this form."

"Nephilim...," I practice the name on my lips.

"Elly, do you know why I brought you here?" she begins to ask.

"Elly, that was the name you called me back there too," I realize. "You must be mistaken, my name is KOS-MOS, I am not this 'Elly' individual that you call me."

"But Elly, that is your true name, just as her name is..."

"And who gave me this name?" I interrupt. "I am KOS-MOS, and I've always been known as KOS-MOS, so stop labeling me as this 'Elly' person you keep referring me too!" I find myself suddenly losing my temper.

"You're acting the same as you did two years ago," Nephilim suddenly brings up, "no, your reaction, your anger, is different than hers."

"What do you want from me?" I ask practically yelling.

"I came to warn you, Elly," the child gets to the point. "The events that happened two years ago, you're slowly reverting back to that same state because of her."

"Her?" the girl's words begin to intrigue me.

"Actually, the word 'yourself' is probably more accurate," Nephilim corrected herself.

"I don't understand," I simply respond.

"Two years ago, there was an incident that split your very self in two," the little girl continued. "Upon being torn away from your other half, you had forgotten all the events that happened in your previous life."

"And just how do you know this?" I ask.

"Because I was the one who tore you away from your other self," Nephilim answered, her words remaining as cool as ever.

My mouth becomes dry again at that moment and my body becomes paralyzed. Is this shock I feel, or perhaps fear, fear of this little girl because of the words she had just said? A child, she claims to have torn me away from my other self two years ago, it seems ludicrous but the child's calm and cool manner helps justify the truth behind her words. I can feel something beating against the top of my left breast, striking against my rib cage repeatedly. The strikes don't hurt, but for some reason they feel as if they're linked to my current paralysis.

The world begins to disperse suddenly, the black walls fading into gray. The little girl in front of me looks to the sky for a moment and then turn to me once more.

"Our time must come to a close for now, but I shall see you soon, Elly," Nephilim says and begins to turn away at that moment.

"Wait," my words manage to stop her, "before you go, at least tell me about my other self. How is it even possible for me to have another self when I didn't exist two years ago."

"But you did, Elly," Nephilim answers, her back still turned as she speaks. "In fact, you met your previous self, your other half, numerous times more recently. The last time you spoke, she saved you from falling, don't you remember?"

"So the Archetype was..."

"Elly, have you not been having visions lately? Visions that feel familiar when you see them, when you live through them?" she asks.

"I have, but that doesn't necessarily make those my memories, they're hers, as well as the name you label me as, 'Elly,'" I tell the girl.

"Elly is not the name given to your previous self," Nephilim continues, "your previous self had another name, one I do not wish to speak. Your current name, Elly, was the name that was supposed to have been given to your sister after you had become functional. Elly, your original self was destroyed and now your consciousness is in another body, so in fact, you are that sister I had just spoke of. In other words you are both the original Archetype and the second KOS-MOS, you are the missing half of the Archetype and at the same time, you are the new KOS-MOS."

"I still don't understand," the girl's words confuse me.

"Shion will understand," Nephilim informs me, "ask her about the incident two years ago, although I must warn you, doing so will return a lot of anguish to her. If you really want to know, you must ask yourself if you're willing to put the one you love through the pain that is the past."

Again the child begins to walk and the world becomes more hazy. The dull gray colors become dimmer, melding into the atmosphere itself. Nephilim's figure also begins to vanish into the atmosphere, but before she can disappear any further, I call once again.

"Wait!" I order.

"Wait for what, KOS-MOS?"

The sound of my lover's voice is the next thing I hear, and suddenly the scenery painted before me is once again that of the Uzuki Residence, specifically the living room. I turn my head to the side to find Shion standing before me with a concerned look. She's worried about me, but I try to brush away her concern with a smile.

"Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment," I lie.

"It's okay," Shion's concern returns to her usual smile.

Before I could say anything more, Shion hands me a stack of books in her arms. I take them unto my own, but for some reason, the weight of the books burns the inside area of my arms and begins to drag my body toward the floor. More books are stacked on top of the ones that Shion had already given me, and I find myself sinking further.

"KOS-MOS, can you put these over there?" she asks afterward, pointing to the corner of the room. "Just set them on the floor, please."

I try to follow my orders, but my legs seem to be out of balance as I walk. My arms continue to shift left and right as they try to balance out the weight of the books which begin to fall in different directions. With every step I take, the more I have to shift my arms to prevent a book from falling to the floor. Each step becomes faster than the last, and soon I find a book ready to hit the floor. I try to turn my feet in the book's direction as fast as I can, but my shin suddenly catches itself on the back of my other leg and I find myself falling face first to the floor. The books are the first to hit the floor, all of them scattering before me, most of them opened with pages folded against the floor in a crooked manner. My hands are free for only a split second, but that time is not enough to catch my fall. Instead of having my nose hit the floor, my chin finds itself on the cover of one of the books while the rest of my body lays flat against the surface. A shock rushes up my body upon impact, leaving my entire body sore.

"KOS-MOS, are you all right?!" Shion quickly rushes to my aid.

"I think so," I answer as she helps me back to my feet.

A majority of the shock disappears after returning to my feet, but my chin still hurts. I rub it against my palm for a moment and my face scrunches before its touch. I turn back to the mess on the floor and try to return to my duty, but Shion's arm pulls before my path and stops me.

"I'll do it," she volunteers.

She plants her knees against the floor and begins stacking the books before her. Regardless of what she ordered, I decide to assist, taking a book into each hand and then creating my own column.

"You've been acting differently," she suddenly speaks.

"Excuse me?" her words leave me puzzled.

"Something seems to have happened to you in this short period of time," she continues, taking another book into her hand.

"I guess you can say that," I avert my gaze to another book before me.

"What is it that could've happened to you?" she asks. "You seem more...alive now."

"Why do you say that?"

"What I just saw moments ago," Shion continues, "how you stumbled on your feet and had difficulty carrying those books, how you fell asleep during our conversation with Jin, and how you showed disgust when Jin and I were arguing earlier, those were things you never did before."

"I'm sorry," I apologize, "I will make sure that will never happen again."

"No, don't worry about it," Shion tells me, "it actually makes me happy that you're becoming like this. I'm pretty sure that's what 'he' would have wanted."

"He?"

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing," Shion brushes away the subject, "the last part must've been my thoughts being said out loud."

"I see," I turn to the next closest book before me.

I begin to reach for the text only to find another hand finding it first. My palm meets with the other hand for a moment, and I turn to its owner. Her lips curl and a brush of red begins to fill her cheeks. I can't help but stare at my own reflection which lies in her emerald green pupils, but I can't help but quickly turn away a moment after. The reflection I see in her irises, it's the same face that had tried to ravage her a day ago. I can't help but pull my hand away from hers after realizing that fact, placing my palms over my eyes to hold back the substance suddenly forming within them. 

My eyes begin to burn again, melting into tears as sobs begin to escape my lips. The image that I now see before my eyes is still that of my lover, but in a manner I wish I could never have seen. I see her crying, with one hand grasping her throat and another groping her body. I hear her screaming, screaming my name and ordering me to stop. I feel her body, how my fingers tighten their grip around her neck and how unwelcome my touch is. And what's worse is how I was smiling, smiling as I was doing these things. I bury my palms deeper into my face as the incident replays before my eyes and more cries escape my lips.

"KOS-MOS?" Shion's touch begins to fall onto my shoulder.

"Don't!"

For the first time in my life, her touch feels as if it burns my skin. My shoulder jolts away with the press of her fingers and my back turns toward her as I shift my body away from her. Another cry escapes my lips as I turn and I again I bury my palms further into my face, trying to block the horrid scene from my eyes once again.

"KOS-MOS, I don't hate you for what happened back on the Elsa," she tries to comfort me, "really, I don't. Please, just look at me."

"Shion...," I barely call between my sobs.

"Look at me," she orders again.

Slowly I begin to turn my eyes toward her again, but as soon as I see my reflection in her pupils, I bury my hands into my irises yet again. Her touch falls before my skin once more and I try to pull away but her arm wraps around my body and forces me closer to her own. She wraps her other arm around me and soon her arms begin to cradle my head. Her lips plant themselves against my forehead for a second and then her chin find its place on top of my hair. She continues to hold me tightly, her arms not showing any sign of letting me go. I simply sit there in her arms crying as she caresses me and then she begins to speak.

"It doesn't matter what you did back there," she tells me, "you weren't yourself, we both know that."

"Wasn't I?" I ask myself. "Was it me that did a horrible thing to you, or was it the other me?"

"The other...?" she hears my thoughts.

I must tell her, and keep this in much longer, I have to tell her what happened, I have to tell her everything, otherwise something more horrible will happen the next time she takes over. I close my eyes for a moment and take a small breath as I try to think of a way to express the events. I finally decide after my sigh and my lips begin to speak.

"I've been having these visions lately," I admit, "visions of myself, or rather my past self."

"What do you mean?" she begins to loosen her hold.

"Two years ago...," I begin to recall, "you and Kevin created me, isn't that right?"

"You weren't created back then, KOS-MOS," she tells me, "or at least, your current self wasn't."

"That's right," I nod, "or at least that's what I want to believe. These visions I've been having, they're of the past, I know it. In all of them I see Kevin, trying to teach me how to act like a human. He preaches about love and other emotions, and every time I see him, I feel...awkward. The feeling he gives me in those visions, it's the same feeling you give me, but at the same time, it's different. I don't feel like myself when I live through these visions, but at the same time, I feel like it was meant to be. I don't understand any of this, Shion, I just don't!"

Again the tears run down my cheeks, now more rapid than ever. Once more she wraps her arms around my head and begins to cradles my body and all I can do is rest my head against her shoulder.

"I'm afraid I don't understand any of this either, KOS-MOS," she tells me, "but despite that, I know we can find a way to understand it together."

"Elly," I remember the name the child called me.

"What?" my lover says surprised. "KOS-MOS, how do you know...?"

"The little girl in one of my visions called me 'Elly,'" I inform Shion. "She said that was my true name and that you would understand the situation, understand what all my visions were, and then the child continued saying that if you were to explain, you would feel all the anguish of the past."

"KOS-MOS, did that girl...have red hair and wear a cross over her neck?"

"Yes," I nod, "she called herself 'Nephilim.' She claimed that she was the reason why I was torn from my other half two years ago. Shion, I don't understand any of this, I don't know who I am anymore, I don't..."

"Sh, it's okay," she cradles me once more, "it's okay."

Her fingers begin to glide through my hair as her arms continue to rock me. My eyes continue to burn and tear and whimpers continue to escape my lips. Her touch begins to soothe me once more, yet I try to pull away. I'm not worthy of such a gift, to be consoled by Shion, I don't deserve it after what I did. Though my body wants to pull away, another part of me does not, telling me to stay. My arms begin to crawl toward my lover's body, crawling until my left wraps around her waist and right hand finds her shoulder. My head begins to nestle on her heart but the tears continue to fall.

"You know when I was a little girl, I used to cry a lot too," Shion changes the subject. "I'd cry over little things, things that weren't always my fault. I remember when I was six when my father and I went to the fair, we had so much fun together that day. My father was able to win me a doll that day on one of the games, it was a nice doll with violet hair and blue eyes, I named her Miang. For some reason though, the other kids wouldn't play with me, they said it was because of Miang, that she was too ugly compared to the other dolls. I blamed myself for not having the other kids playing with me, but that's when my father bought me another doll, this one had red hair and blue eyes, I named her Elly. Miang and Elly were sisters in my own imaginary world, but Elly was always my favorite for some reason. The other kids still wouldn't play with me when I got Elly, but still, Elly and I were always together, she was always there when I cried myself to sleep, always there whenever I visited my mother in the hospital, she was always there while Miang was left alone in the corner. Then there was an incident fourteen years ago, an incident that forever changed my life...," Shion's voice began to break suddenly.

"The Miltian Conflict?" I ask.

"That's right," she nods, her eyes remaining shut. "There was an incident that happened while my father and I went to visit my mother. It was so sudden, I found myself hidden from what was going on while my mother and father...," her voice broke again, this time with a sob escaping her lips.

"I'm sorry," I apologize.

"Mother, Father, Febronia, all three of them, they were...," her voice began to trail off. "While I was hiding, I was worried about Miang for the first time, how I would always leave her at home while Elly and I were always together. Before I could join my parents, Jin suddenly appeared, and for the first time, he was there for me. He stopped those things that had taken my parents' lives and saved me despite several injuries he had received before then. The next day we went back home to find nothing but ruins and all I could find were the remains of Miang, ragged and torn. For the first time I cried for Miang, cried how I was never really there for her."

"A doll, you cried for a doll?" the situation wasn't making much sense to me.

"Miang was more than just a doll, she was one of the very few things my father had given me as a present," Shion continues. "I wanted to make it up to her, and so, I thought I could two years ago."

"What should we name her?" the voice of Kevin begins to echo in my ears once again.

The scenery begins to change suddenly and I find myself staring into a gray ceiling. My body is lying in a service module, one very similar to my own. For some reason I can't move my body, but I can hear what is going on outside.

"What's wrong with 'KOS-MOS?'" the voice of my love echoes from the other side of the module.

'Shion?' I think to myself.

I'm sure I'm witnessing another vision of the past, that must be what this is. Like my previous visions, I do not act upon my own accord, or rather, I cannot act at all in this situation.

"There's nothing wrong with that name, it's just that...," Kevin's words begin to trail away.

"You want her to be like a real person in every way," his words finished from Shion's mouth. "I can understand that."

"The thing is, I don't know what to name her," Kevin continued, "Shion, do you have any idea what we can name our girl?"

"...Miang," Shion answered a moment later, "we can name her 'Miang,' or at least I'd like to name her Miang."

"Miang," Kevin said, practicing the name on his lips, "that's a great name, it's better than anything I can come up with."

"It's settled then, our KOS-MOS will be named Miang," Shion repeats.

"What about the other?" Kevin suddenly asks. "The other one Vector wants us to build once Miang is complete?"

"The other...," Shion's voice begins to trail away. "We can name her 'Elly.'"

"Miang and Elly," Kevin practices the names on his lips, "that sounds perfect. I'll inform Miang of this right away, let me just get a connection gear to her encephalon gear and..."

His voice begins to break at that moment and the ceiling begins to blur. I find my body no longer lying down in the blink of my eyes as I find myself once again being cradled by my love. I find my cheeks wet again and my throat dry, just as they were before I saw the past. I tilt my head upward to find my love still in tears with her eyes shut. Just the sight of tears brings more to my eyes, I have to say something, anything to console her. For once I am at a loss for words, but I decide to speak using the first word that comes into mind.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, "I didn't mean to have you recall such painful memories."

"No, it's okay, Elly," she assures me, calling me by my real name for the first time, "I would have told you anyway, maybe when this was all over. Your name, I was going to start you calling you by your real name when the Gnosis were no longer a problem, when you could become an active member of society. It seems like you've become a part of society now, so it's more appropriate to call you 'Elly' from now on."

"Elly," I practice my name, "it still sounds somewhat awkward to be called that name, but I'm sure I'll get used to it in time."

Her tears are still wet, but there are more things I would like to ask her. I want to ask her about how the Archetype and I were once one being but now split in two, I want to ask why Kevin was angered at the Archetype the night before she was first activated, but regardless of what I want to ask, I'm sure I'd only upset her more. Still, I wish to know, so I let my questions get the best of my conscience.

"Shion, there's something else I want to ask you, something about my current self," I begin.

"What is it, Elly?"

"Nephilim said that I am half of the first archetype and her sister at the same time," I inform her, "how is that so? If you don't want to answer my question, that's fine, I'm sure..."

"No, it's all right," she interrupts me, "I might as well get this all out of the way now. The KOS-MOS Project was originally supposed to have two KOS-MOS units, the original archetype and yourself. The original, Miang, was supposed to be the prototype while you were supposed to be the production model. When Miang was destroyed two years ago, the project was altered. Instead of mass producing you as originally planned, we were only going to have a single KOS-MOS unit to take care of the Gnosis. You're that KOS-MOS unit, Elly, but there was a problem during assembly. With Kevin's death, a majority of the Miang's parts could not be rebuilt, and so to build you, we took Miang's parts and put them into your body, but we redid your programming so that you wouldn't end up like her. The original archetype can be considered your elder sister, Elly, as well as your other half."

"I think I understand," I say after comprehending the situation, "but there is still one thing I don't understand. In my visions I see Kevin teaching me, or rather Miang, how to be human. Miang is always happy when Kevin is around, but there was one vision where Kevin was angry at her, saying it was wrong to teach her. She seemed rather upset about something, I'm not sure what, but it felt as if she was broken by his words."

"...I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that question, Elly," she answers, "but I think I have a vague idea. When Miang was still being built in the early stages, Kevin asked me, 'Shion, do you believe she has a heart?'. I was very surprised by his words and I told Kevin to look out for any emotions she may display. Kevin was responsible for Miang's combat simulations but I know there were times when he would visit her in the encephalon for reasons I did not know. The last time he visited her in the encephalon, however, Kevin was rather angry about something. I asked him if he was okay, but then he replied 'She just doesn't understand.' I didn't know what he meant back then, but shortly after we began working on you, I heard a rumor about Miang. The rumor was that Miang had fallen in love with Kevin, seeing him as more than a father than Kevin and I had wanted. Kevin had rejected Miang's love, and that made her go berserk when she was activated."

"Jealous," I interrupt, "she was jealous of your love."

"What, jealous?" Shion asks.

"Miang was jealous of yours and Kevin's love for each other," I tell her.

"...I suppose that's the truth, but...," Shion begins to fall silent.

"There's still some things I don't understand, why does she reawaken now of all times?!" I ask, burying my face into Shion's shoulder. "Why does she continue to haunt me?! Why did she...," the words cannot come, "why...? Oh God, why?!" I cry.

"Elly, what did she do to you?" my lover asks, tightening her hold on me. "Please Elly, tell me."

Her palm falls upon my cheek and suddenly I am reminded of Miang's icy cold touch. How her hands were so cold when they glided down my body, how her very touch also burned. My cries and pleas meant nothing as I begged her to stop, my body's actions telling her how unwelcome she was. Why, why must I be reminded of such a thing now?

"Stop it!" I yell, my arms suddenly shooting forward, pushing my lover away.

My eyes sting again, just as they did when she ravaged me. I can feel the wounds she gave me opening me again and my entire body begins to grow sore. The brush of her lips and the device within, I can feel them pressing against my mouth and stealing the contents within. Helpless, again I feel so helpless. Stop it, please, stop it! Don't torment me any longer! Don't let me hear your voice! Don't let me see you! Don't even come near me, just leave me alone!

"Elly?" Shion's voice barely calls.

I don't waste another second remembering this image, instead, I begin to push my feet against the floor and begin running.

"Elly!" I hear my love call once again.

I don't bother to look where I run, nor do I even look back. My feet continue to push against the ground, not one second passes where they stop. Even in the world of darkness that I cast before my eyes, I still remember. Again I hear her laugh, again I see her face, and again I feel her touch. I try to run further and further, away from the horrid vision, but regardless of how fast I run, the vision does not escape me. I realize I can no longer run, so I stop where I am, curling my knees to my chest and my arms wrapping around them. My voice whimpers and my eyes still burn, stop it, just stop it! Make it all go away, please, make it all go away.

The sound of steps begins to fill the air suddenly just as it begins to thin. My limbs begin to shiver from the sudden cold as my entire body begins to grow numb. The sounds grow louder and louder and my eyes widen further with every inch they move. My teeth begin to grind against one another and my chest suddenly begins to ache, aching as some sort of device crashes against the top of my breast. The steps suddenly come to a halt and I make no effort to turn my eyes to the one who now stands before me, instead trying to avert them elsewhere. Nothing but darkness is what I find wherever I turn. I begin to push myself back to my feet only to find the gaze of my sister now cast before me. Her arm quickly launches forward, her fingers wrapping around my wrist before I could move, and suddenly I find my body being pulled toward hers.

"Shio...!" I try to call my lover's name, only to have the last part of it muffled by a hand.

"Now do you remember, KOS-MOS?" my sister asks. "The pain that woman caused us back then?"

"Why did you do it," I ask, my voice breaking in between my sobs, "why did you have to..."

"I never meant to hurt you, KOS-MOS," her fingers press against my lips, "in order to remember the past, you had to remember the pain, the pain she had put us through, and in order to do that, I had to..."

"So you raped me just so that I could remember our past, Miang?!" I begin to raise my voice.

"...I'm sorry," she suddenly apologizes.

"What?!"

I pull myself away from her the moment she apologizes and for once, my sister does not advance. Her vision turn to the floor, her arms meeting with her body, filling the gap I left when I pushed out of her arms. My fists begin to loosen at that moment, my eyes no longer narrowed, and my anger subsiding. Pity, is this what I'm feeling toward Miang right now, this emotion that drives makes me feel bad because her actions had good intentions? No, of course not, regardless of what her intentions were, she had no right to do that to me!

"So I'm just supposed to take your apology and pity you?!" I stomp. "Do you realize the emotional turmoil your actions caused?! It's because of what you did and made me do that I can't look at Shion and not burst into tears, it's because of you I can no longer savor the taste of her lips, it's because of you that...!"

"I understand how you feel," Miang interrupts again, "but without pain, there can be no..."

"I knew pleasure long before what you did!" I spit. "If you wanted me to remember everything, why couldn't you just tell me?!"

"Telling you and experiencing the memories once more do not give the same effect," she answers, "what I did was necessary so that..."

The next thing I know, I find my right palm swinging forward, my entire hand stinging after coming in contact with my sister's cheek. A blush of red paints itself on where my hand struck, followed by a stream of what I think are tears flowing down her cheeks. Again a part of me wants me to pity her, but I refuse to give in to that trap.

"Necessary?" I ask, my fingers balling into a fist once again. "What you did ruined my life!"

"That woman would have ruined your life in the long run," she continues.

"What?!"

"Don't you remember, Elly," she asks, calling me by my real name, "the day he broke our heart, when he couldn't return our feelings? He said he loved us, Elly, and he knew that we loved him, and yet he showered his affection to that woman!" her voice begins to raise. "Why her, why?! He built us to be the perfect woman, not just to be another machine, and despite achieving that perfection, he..."

"The love he had for us was not the same as the love we had for him!" I explain. "Kevin loved us as a father, nothing more!"

"No, that's not true!" Miang screams. "Lies! Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies! He had to have loved us more, why else did he teach us to become human, why name us, why even spend quality time with us?"

"Any caring parent would do that for their child, can't you see that?" I try to explain.

"No, he loved us more than just children," her screams continue, her hands beginning to cover her ears, "he loved us for just being who we were. He loved..."

"That's an illusion, Miang!" I interrupt again. "You can't get over the past, but why do you have to drag me with you, why do I have to get involved when I've already found love with someone else?!"

"You can only love others only when you can love yourself," she answers with a familiar quote, "that is what Kevin once told us. Elly, do you love yourself?"

"Do I love...?"

"Do you love me?"

My mind draws nothing but a blank as I try to search for an answer to the question. The question plays itself over and over again in my mind, but no matter how hard I search, I cannot find a complete answer. I think I love myself, I've helped Shion and the others in many situations and I was happy to be of service, but at the same time, I also hate myself. There were times when I let Shion down, when I made her cry, and I just despise that part of me. But then there's the issue of Miang and I as a whole; do I love Miang? How can I, after all she's put me through, after all the things she did to me and the others.

"No, of course not," she answers for me a second later. "Machines such as us cannot love, but are we really machines?" she continues. "You and I, Elly," she begins to approach me once again, "we are but one and the same, a manifestation of sin, that's what we are."

"A manifestation of sin?" her words leave me puzzled.

"'Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a man's mind,'" she interrupts, "so says the words of the Orange Catholic Bible. Are we not machines created in likeness of a man's mind, Elly?"

My mind once again draws nothing but blank for an answer, I can neither agree nor disagree with her statement. A machine in the likeness of a man's mind, I suppose that's what Miang and I are, but today... No, the events that transpired today don't change the fact that I'm still a machine, it doesn't matter...

"Or perhaps we are not machines after all," my sister continues, "but one thing is for certain, we are not human. We are dolls, Elly. You and I are the same, manifestations of one's desire, to look and act human, but in reality we are nothing more than toys for the ones that created us."

Her arm begins to reach toward my body and I do not make an effort to move as her words continue to echo in my ears. My feet begin to push me a few steps forward, stopping before my sister's toes and pressing my cheek against my sister's. Even though I can feel her hand now caressing my cheek, it's still not enough to clear her words from my mind. This touch, it's so different from the one's that have glided down my skin before. It's slow... and gentle, my knees can't help but loosen as the tips of her fingers slide down my face. I feel her breath drawing toward my lips and I begin to pull mine back, but the next one that escapes her lips comforts the muscles in my mouth.

"I love you...," she says in barely a whisper.

Why, why am I feeling so weak suddenly. The inside of my mouth has suddenly become parched, sweat is beginning to drip from my brow, and again there is a beating within my breast. My breath is short, my eyes are barely closed, I feel so...

"Do you love me?" my sister asks, her breath as close to my lips as ever.

"I...," my lips begin to press forward. "No!" my eyes suddenly widen and my arms pushing forward.

The shove brings my sister a few steps back and I find myself trying so desperately to reclaim my breath. The entire top half of my body feels so heavy all of a sudden and my entire brow is drenched in sweat. I look back to Miang who regains her balance, returning to her feet with ease. She wears her usual monotone expression on her face and begins to speak once more.

"Love, of course you don't love me," she speaks, "we cannot love, we can only lust, that's all we are capable of."

"You speak in circles," I tell her, still trying to reclaim my breath, "your words are nothing but a circle of blasphemy!"

"Oh really," she asks, "then why have you not answered my earlier question? Do you love yourself?"

"Of...of course I do," I find myself stuttering, "it's just that..."

"You can't love me, despite the fact that I'm part of you," she finishes my sentence. "Just remember this my sister, people can love dolls, but when we when another one comes around, the original doll is quickly forgotten. Heed my advice, Elly," she begins to turn away, "for your relationship with that woman will end up the same way ours did with Kevin back then."

"Miang, wait!" I try to call.

The color white begins to flood my vision soon after, and suddenly everything grows black. The next thing I know, I feel my body pressing against some sort of surface, my head resting on what seems to be a pillow. Slowly I peel away the darkness before me, peeling until I see the image of a coffee table and television before me. I'm in the living room at the Uzuki Residence again, yet I do not know how I got here.

"How are you feeling?" I hear the voice of the silver-haired boy as I pull my body back to its feet.

I can think of no words to describe my current feelings, everything in my mind just seems to be so jumbled at the moment. I bring my palm to my temple for a moment and begin to shake my head, trying to clear some of the confusion away in the process. I still feel terrible; my entire body still seems to be weighing down on me and everything just feels so fuzzy at the moment. Just thinking is a chore at the moment.

"You've been out for quite a while," I turn to my side to find the Durandel's captain and young realian standing next to him, "we found you outside unconscious a few hours ago."

"Shion was very worried," MOMO informs me, "KOS-MOS, what happened?"

"...I'm not sure," I answer, my thoughts and the events that transpired recently still blurry. "Where's Shion?" I decide to change the subject.

"She's upstairs taking a shower," MOMO answers, "she was at your side until recently when chaos told her to go take a bath to help clear her thoughts."

"I guess I'll wait for her in her room then," I inform the others.

"Not everyone begins with a soul," the silver-haired boy suddenly speaks, stopping me for a moment.

"What?"

"Only when one has gone through both pain and pleasure that they can call themselves a man," he continues.

"Or in your case, a woman, right Jr.?" the young realian asks.

"Yeah, I guess that sounds right."

"Excuse me then," I tell the others.

As I head upstairs, I can't help but take a glance outside. It is already nighttime, the moon and stars are as bright as the sun would be if the day were still out. The eternal blackness, the very same one I saw the night before when I leapt off the Elsa.

"So much has happened these last few days," I find myself sighing.

It was not too long ago when Shion and I had admitted our feelings toward one another, through words and through action. We fought many times as well, hurting one another with words and force. So much has happened between us in this short time, so much pain and pleasure that is normally felt only in a single lifetime, or at least that is what I believe. Was life supposed to be this complicated? We've hurt each other many times, and yet, we always manage to run back into each other's arms, licking the very same wounds we had inflicted to the other. Why does she continue to put up with me after all I've done to her?

My thoughts come to a close shortly after as I find myself stopping at the door that leads to my lover's room. Gently I rap my knuckles against its surface, rapping it twice in succession. Silence is the only answer I receive, so again I knock. Still nothing. My fingers wrap around the doors knob after, slowly twisting it to the side as the rest of my arm slowly pushes the rest of the door open. The room is empty, not a single form of life in the room. The moon's glow illuminates the area with a pale blue light, it shines most bright on the bed. My feet begin to push me toward the light, stopping before where it shines so that I may get a better view of the room.

"What's this?" my attention averts itself to a picture frame I had not noticed earlier.

I don't know why I hadn't noticed this earlier, it's been sitting right next to the bed. I pick up the frame and bring it closer to my face so that I may get a better view of the photo within. It's a picture of a young girl with glasses; eyes as green as emerald and brown hair with a small shade of red. The girl wears her hair down to her upper back, although she wears some of it in a braid that she wears in front. A light blue dress is what she is wearing, with a dark blue ribbon tied to the waist area of her clothing. The girl seems to be smiling, smiling as she holds a doll in her arms. The doll she holds looks somewhat familiar. Hair as red as the setting sun and blue like water, it looks just like Nephilim.

"People can love dolls, but when we when another one comes around, the original doll is quickly forgotten," my sister's last words begin to echo in my ears once again.

"What's that in your hand, Elly?" I suddenly find the frame being stripped from my hands. "Oh, this picture," Shion says after looking at it for a mere second, "I remember that day, it was so long ago."

"Shion, people can love dolls, right?" I ask.

"What do you mean, Elly?" she asks back, confused.

"Please, just answer the question."

"Yes, people can love dolls," she answers.

"But when another one comes around, is the original forgotten?"

"Elly, why do you...?"

"Just answer!" I find myself almost yelling.

"...in time, I'm afraid so," she answers after a moment of hesitation.

"...I see," my head begins to sink. "Shion, am I doll?" 

"A doll, of course not, Elly," she answers.

"Am I a machine?"

"Far from it."

"Am I human?"

"...I cannot say."

"Then what am I?" I ask with my eyes beginning to burn.

For once she gives me no answer, instead bringing her eyes to the floor. She does not know, and I knew she wouldn't, but even knowing this, I still asked. I wait for a moment to pass, and still no answer, my eyes burning more fiercely with every second that passes. A cool liquid begins to run down my face now, with sniffs and sobs escaping me every second. My body begins to curl inward, my knees catching each of my tears. Then a gentle touch falls onto my shoulder and the tears begin to stop. I turn to the hand that now holds me, my eyes then fixing on those of the hand's owner. A small curl falls upon her lips as I continue to gaze into her eyes, and her mouth begins to speak.

"You are Elly, the woman I love," my lover finally tells me, "you are no more, no less than that."

Again, more tears begin to fall down my cheeks, but the shutting of my eyes begins to cool the fire. My palm falls upon the hand that caresses me and I find my body sinking, sinking toward the form of my lover. Another arm wraps around my shoulders at that moment as my face begins to bury itself around its owner's heart. My own arms begin to creep forward, slowly wrapping around her waist, pulling her close and hugging her tightly.

"Do you remember that promise we made not too long ago?" she asks, bringing her lips to my ear. "When we swore our everlasting love for one another, do you remember what you said?"

"Forever," I remember, "Shion, you and I can stay here forever."

"And then I answered 'longer than forever, my love, longer than forever,'" she reminds me. "Elly, I meant what I said back there, and my words still hold true now. I will always love you, Elly," she whispers, "when we die and are reborn into another life, if we are to ever be separated, and if we are to fight with one another again, regardless of what happens, I will always love you."

"And I will always love you, Shion...," I say in barely a whisper.

Miang, I don't care what you say, or what your intentions are, no matter what you may try to do, no matter what is to become of me, you will never tear Shion and I apart. Never!

  
  


Author's Note: Well, how was it? To be honest, this chapter was really hard for me to write, namely due to time constraints because school's been keeping me busy for a while. I guess it was also tough because there were just too many times in the first draft of this chapter where KOS-MOS (or rather "Elly" as she'll be called from now on by Miang (the Archetype) and Shion from now on) got emotional, but she still gets really emotional in the final product as well as you can see. It's not that I like torturing the poor girl, but hey, she's the one who wanted to feel pain originally, and unfortunately, she got it. As for why she's become human suddenly and whatnot, I'll reveal the answer in the next chapter, or if not that one, the one after. Just to tell you readers ahead of time, it might be a while before I update again because finals are comin' up soon, but I'll try and work on the next chapter as soon as I can. Three chapters left and this story's done, then I'll work on "Mother," and if time permits afterward, I might work on another sequel (it's kind of an AU, but I'll give details about it some other time). Well reviews are welcome, but no flames or anything like that. Well that's it for now, later people!


	6. Negligence and Patience

Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait in updating, but I was in writer's block for a while on how to write this chapter. In this chapter, we have a few more revelations for KOS-MOS (or rather "Elly" as she'll be referred to from now on by Shion and the original archetype, "Miang") so that means more angst for our poor heroine. Yeah, Elly seems pretty weak compared to her video game counterpart in this story, but I guarantee that she'll start kicking ass again in the next chapter. And Jin, yeah I know he and Shion have been fighting quite a bit and he's been somewhat of a comedy relief character, but I assure you he'll start to take up a more serious role starting with this chapter (but you can still expect him and Shion to argue from time to time like most siblings do). The ff.net version has some edited scenes in this chapter, I'm sure you all know where to find the uncut version by now. Things may be confusing in this chapter, the pacing is slow at parts, and a few more questions will arise, but please bear with it and I'll answer all questions and other mysteries that were made in this story in the next chapter. Why, because this story's almost done, two chapters left and this story's finished. In any case, let's get to the story.

Chapter 6: Negligence and Patience

A small breeze begins to fill the air for a mere second and I can't help but look in the direction it flew. It leads my vision to the forest, stopping it before a tree branch where a yellow finch is perched. A small chirp escapes its beak and I can't help but smile at its melody. I find myself walking closer toward the conductor of the song with my eyes growing wider with every step I take. The image of the bird grows closer and closer, but by the time it grows close enough for me to touch, a loud bang fills the area and the bird is replaced by a shower of feathers. I can't help but gasp at the sight of the bird's death as my legs suddenly grow numb and my breath short. The air begins to grow thin at that moment and a fog begins to roll in, shielding my vision from the forest.

"I hate birds," a voice echoes from behind me.

"Miang!" I yell my sister's name as I turn toward her.

"Such fragile creatures they are," she begins to speak. "They sing such beautiful songs that can calm anyone's heart, but if you grow close enough to them, they fly away without a moment's notice. Why do they sing?" she asks as she begins to approach me. "Kevin once said that they sing to attract others toward them, but when others do grow close, they flee. It's true, don't you think?"

"Miang, I know what you're thinking," my eyes narrow as she draws closer, "you think you can still tear me and Shion apart, but you know what, that's not going to happen! Shion loves me, and I love her, there's nothing and no one that can change that, not even you! I don't care what you do to me, Miang, but you can't make me stop loving Shion nor can you make her stop loving me just because of what happened between you, her, and Kevin in the past!"

"I don't have to make her stop loving you," my sister says calmly, "in fact, she'll stop loving you on her own."

"Lies!" I retort.

"How much patience do you think she actually has?" Miang continues. "Do you really think she can continue to forgive you over and over again for your actions?"

"What do you mean?"

"There's a limit to everyone's patience, even your so-called 'lover' will run out of it," her lecture continues. "How many times do you think she'll forgive you for upsetting her, for worrying her, or for ravaging her?"

"I...," I am unable to find any words to respond with. "You said 'ravage her,'" I recall her last words soon after, "just what makes you think I would do such a thing? What we do is make..."

"Coat your words with as much sugar as you like, but as I said before, making love and rape is the same thing, it's sex, and we all know what the goal of sex is," she quickly interrupts.

"Regardless, when Shion and I do have sex, it's pleasing to both of us!" I explain yelling. "Not once when we have made love has she begged me to stop or burst into tears, nor have I done the same."

"But you only 'made love' once, why is that?"

"It's because...because...," again I am at a loss for words.

"Perhaps she did not enjoy it, she was faking it. I'm sure she was thinking to herself the entire time that she wanted it to stop."

"That's a lie!" I retort. "Shion would never deceive me, whether it be through or words or action! I know she wouldn't, I just know it!"

"And what makes you so sure?" she begins to approach me once more and soon her hand finds my shoulder.

"I feel it...here," I say, bringing my palm above my left breast.

"And just what is it that's there?"

"It's..."

I can feel something beating, something pushing slowly beneath my skin as I press my hand against my chest. Thump, thump, thump, the sound it makes, it's exactly the same sound I hear when I rest my ear on her chest. What is this instrument that continues to push above my breast?

"It's her heart," a third voice suddenly echoes in the air.

My head begins to swerve to the right and I find a slight illumination of gold standing before me. My eyes narrow to try and shade the light as much as I can but it is to no avail. Even bringing my hands before my vision does almost no good, but suddenly the light begins to dim and a small figure begins to form where the light had originated. The figure wears a pink dress that is nearly sleeveless, the only part of her arms that are covered are her shoulders. I turn my attention inward to the figure's neck, finding a gold cross hanging and fire-red strands of hair behind her neck. My eyes then look upward a bit more, stopping before the figure's cerulean pupils.

"Nephilim?" I call the young girl's name.

"It's you...," the cool demeanor of my sister begins to crack.

"Miang, Elly, we meet again," the child speaks.

"Don't give me that 'we meet again' business!" Miang bares her teeth.

"Miang, stop this, please," the child begs, falling to her knees, "can't you see that Elly has moved on, your attempt to become one again will..."

"I'm tired of listening to you," Miang stomps, turning her back toward the girl in the process, "I did that once and look at where it's gotten me!"

"But Miang...," the child continues to plea.

"Nothing but trouble, that's all you've given me!" I turn to Miang's hand which begins to glow with a dark violet light.

The next thing I know, my sister's arm rises and pushes toward the child in an instant. The glow in her hand suddenly escapes her palm and the next thing I know, a loud crash echoes in my ears and smoke begins to fill my lungs and eyes. I try to hack out the contents that had collected in my lungs within those few seconds but as soon as the dust clears, I find the young child and my sister hovering above my head.

"Hmph, you've grown weaker," my sister taunts returning to her stoic manner, "normally you would've been able to get out of a blast like that with little to no problems, but why is it that you couldn't evade an attack as simple as that. If I had used a minuscule 2.9998% more of my power, you would have been vaporized in an instant."

I turn to the child that hovers several feet in front of her. A river of crimson runs down her left arm though most of it runs through the gaps between the fingers of her right hand which clutches the wound. The child's breath already seems heavy, her form slowly bobbing up and down as she tries to regain the air she had lost from the blast. Her knees are bending, it looks like they're barely able to support her weight and may collapse at any moment. A golden glow then begins to shine in Nephilim's right palm, the light illuminating brighter and brighter with each second that passes. The grin on plastered on Miang's face begins to melt at that moment and her body begins to arch preparing her for the worst. The child then mimics the earlier action of my sister, her arm suddenly pushing toward her opponent and an illuminated beam escape her hand. Again a cloud of smoke erupts upon impact, but this time when the smoke clears, only the child stands. At least for a mere second. Miang then suddenly appears behind the child, her body barely pressing against Nephilim's back.

"Behind you!" I try to warn the child.

"What?!"

"Got you," my sibling smirks.

The back of Miang's hand meets with the child's face for a mere second with another stream of scarlet erupting in the process. The geyser sprays for a mere second, following the motion of the child's body before it meets with the floor. As soon as I see this, my eyes narrow once more and I find my nails impaling into my palm as I ball my fingers into fists. My teeth begin to grind and I prepare to lift myself into their current locale, yet for some reason, I remain on the ground. 

"What, why can't I...?"

My normal functions still haven't returned, I am unable to jump off the ground and bring myself to Nephilim and Miang's current level; the most I can jump is a mere foot off the ground. I try to jump once again, but just like the last time, I find myself only jumping a foot off the surface. I then bring my arm forward and straighten it, waiting for the R-CANNON to appear. Nothing, the weapon does not appear as it normally would. My weapons aren't working either, none of my usual functions are...

"Argh!" I look back to the sky to find my sister striking Nephilim once more with her fist.

"Nephilim!" I cry the child's name.

The child tries to return to her original posture after the strike, but her entire form arches inward as Miang lifts her knee upward, planting it in Nephilim's abdomen. The torture doesn't end there however as Miang then lifts her right arm upward, her fingers curled and her knuckles meeting with Nephilim's chin after, knocking the child back up. Another punch follows, this one with the left hand, striking at her ribs, and then quickly followed by several more. The attack continues after the punches, but I try to hide the vision and tears before my eyes by closing them. It does no good, I can still hear the child screaming and Miang laughing.

"Make it stop," I begin chanting, "make it stop, make it stop."

"Ugh!" the child's pain flows into my ears once more, blocking out the sound of my voice.

"Make it stop, make it stop, please make it stop," I begin to chant louder.

"Ah ha ha ha ha!" my sister's laugh echoes in my ears once more.

"Please make it stop, please make it stop."

"Ack!" the next cry again pushes through my voice, this time accompanied with a small rain that falls onto my arm.

"PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!"

My body begins to burn suddenly as an orange glow begins to engulf me. This burning, this fire, it continues to grow with every tear that I shed. I begin to wrap my arms around myself to try and cool the fire but to no avail, instead it continues to grow. The burning, for some reason, it does not hurt, but it soothes. Regardless, I just want it to stop, everything, just make it stop. Surging, I can feel something beginning to glow in my hands.

"What?!" I hear my sister's voice once more, this time without anymore cries from the child.

I tighten the closing of my eyes and my fingers begin to press on my arms. My legs begin to inch toward each other and the burning intensifies. Stop it, stop this sudden warmth, stop this fighting, just...

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" I scream.

The warmth suddenly begins to leave my body and I feel a brush of energy leaving my form, as if it were coming from my upper back. Large gusts of wind follow the energy, blowing from my spine and suddenly branching upward, toward Miang. A crack opens within the darkness before my vision and I find several rays of light aiming for Miang. Miang's mouth opens widely as the beams fly toward her and she tries to step back, but before she can do anything, the rays engulf her, once again surrounding the area with clouds of gray. The clouds begin to engulf the child, but instead of swallowing her like my sister, they cause her to lose her leverage in the air and she plummets toward the floor.

"Nephilim!" I cry again.

Without thinking, I begin to push my legs against the floor as hard as I can so that I may catch the child before she hits the ground. Her form grows larger and larger with each step my feet take until she becomes large enough to fall into my arms. My body is dragged to the floor the moment my arms wrap around her tiny body, but I am still able to catch her before she could hit the ground. I bring her body parallel to the ground and hold it at the same level as my abdomen so that I may observe a majority of her wounds. Blood, lots of blood is tainted on her milk-hued skin and now tattered dress, I can barely even see any pink in her clothing now. I turn to her eyes which now lie shut and her head tilted toward the floor with her mouth slightly open. Despite the condition she is in, she is breathing, but barely.

"Nephilim, are you all right?!" I quickly ask the child only to have her reply with silence. "Nephilim," I begin to shake her form lightly, "Nephilim!"

"E...Elly...?" the child barely calls my name.

"Lie still, I'm going to administer a medica ether," I order the child.

My normal functions and weapons may not be working at the moment, but I'm sure I can still use Ether to a certain degree.

"La so le vu ve ta," I chant as I lay my palms a few inches above her body.

My palms grow warm once again, much like the rest of my body did when I suddenly unleashed that attack back there. My eyes then fix on the oozing red craters all over her body, each of them slowly shrinking with every second that passes. The red substance that travels down her body begins to grow less rapid but eventually the leaking comes to a halt when their sources become sealed. My palms then move away from her body after but one hand can't help but stroke away several strands of hair that cover her once bloodied face. A small bristle is blown onto the tips of my fingers as they sweep away the strands and I can't help but smile knowing the child will be all right thanks to what I did to save her. 

Wait a minute, what was it that I just did before I administered the ether? Nephilim was in danger, and then all of a sudden my entire body began to grow warm, particularly my upper back. As soon as I opened my eyes, I found several rays of light firing at Miang. The way it was fired, it was similar to that time I absorbed the Gnosis.

"I...I was wrong about you, Elly," the child's voice removes me from my thoughts.

"What?"

"You're not like your other half, no, your former half," Nephilim continues.

"What do you mean?" her words leave me baffled.

"Charging!" another voice suddenly enters my ears.

I quickly around to find my sister standing before us as battered and bruised as Nephilim was. Miang's clothing is also tattered; the strands that cover her breasts are barely attached to her corset now, hanging together by a single thread. String hangs from the wrist part of her left glove while the right is completely seared off. For once I can see one of her eyes as half of her goggles now lies on the floor. How narrow that single eye is, its crimson pupil almost as black as the garb of Death itself. Her teeth begin to bare toward us, I can practically hear them grinding against one another. Her hands begin to hover before her abdomen now and suddenly her fingers plunge themselves into her stomach. Eight petal-like devices begin to open as her fingers pull away several plates over her stomach with an electrical current flowing between each one. A red sphere rests inside the center of her now open abdomen and it begins to glow as a parasitic-looking device escapes from the lower back of her spine.

"X-BUSTER?!" I quickly recognize the attack she is about to use.

Before I could react, columns of light begin to escape her abdomen, each of them hailing toward Nephilim and I. Out of reaction I wrap my arms around Nephilim's form and turn my back toward the incoming fire. I shield my vision once more as I wait for the impact, wait for each of those beams to pierce through me just as they did with all those Gnosis and enemy soldiers not too long ago. The sound of the beams crashing onto some sort of surface erupt in my ears shortly after, but for some reason I don't feel the actual beams piercing through me.

"Huh?" I open my eyes and find the child still wrapped around my arms.

"Luck," I look to my sibling who clenches her teeth.

"Miang...?" I begin to return to my feet but with one arm still wrapped tightly around the girl standing next to me.

"I think I understand now," a small grin falls upon my enemy's face. "I should've known you would've pulled a stunt like that, Nephilim, are you that desperate to survive?"

"Desperate to survive...?" I turn to the child in my arms.

"That's just something a parasite like you would do," my sister continues. "If that's the case, I'll let this little incident go for now, but don't think I'll let it go for long."

The entire area begins to flood with clouds after and the air grows thick, but I keep my hold around Nephilim as tight as ever. Eventually I can see nothing but white before my eyes, even if I put my hand before my face I can barely see it. Nephilim is still holding on to me luckily, I feel her arms tightening further around mine as the mist continues to grow thicker. A few moments later, I find the fog settling and the air returning to normal.

"Are you all right?" I ask Nephilim afterward.

"Yes, thank you, Elly," she responds.

"What just happened back there?" my thoughts begin to linger toward the recent events.

"Ether," the little girl holding my arm speaks.

"What?"

"Infinite ether," she repeats herself. "Shion is the key."

"'Shion is the key.', wait a second, what do you mean?" I find myself confused once again.

My body begins burn again afterward, but this warmth is much different from the one I just felt a moment ago. Drops of liquid begins to drench my temple suddenly and my limbs begin to grow limp as my breath begins to grow thin. My throat is again parched and the scenery begins to blur. Hot, it feels so hot... The surface below my feet seems to give away suddenly and my knees then stop before the floor that never left my feet. Even then my body begins to sink further into the floor, as if an unknown force is pulling me down. The next thing I know, I find my side lying against a new surface and my entire body growing limp. Everything is so warm, like I'm in some sort of furnace.

Light suddenly begins to engulf my shut eyes, awakening me from my slumber. The sound of birds chirping also begins to fill my ears, their lullaby freeing me from my sleep. My entire upper body pushes itself upward the moment my eyes fully open and I find myself drenched in sweat and my body heaving heavily.

"Another dream?" I ask myself between my pants.

These visions I've been having these last few days, they're becoming more frequent and confusing than the last. This recent one is no exception either, but this time I don't have a single clue what just happened.

Another note of the birds' morning song enters my ear and I find my breathing beginning to slow down. The beating against my chest also lowers its pace as it tries to move in sync with nature's symphony. My arm meets with my brow afterward, wiping away the cool liquid that it had collected. I then turn to the direction where I had swept away the sweat, finding my darling Shion resting beside me. My mind begins to clear more as I admire how the sun's glow reflects off her perfect skin and I can't help but begin to relax. My body begins to sink toward the bed again as my arms wrap around her figure and my head falling unto her shoulder. My nose nuzzles against her arm the moment it meets with her skin, but it begins to travel down further. I find it brushing against her breasts within a few moments as it looks for a region that is able to support my head. My arm begins to travel upward, my fingers slowly gliding down Shion's sleeve until they wrap around her hand.

"Mm," my lips can't help but purr when I feel the warmth of her body.

Soon I find my body beginning to sit up again, but not with my own accord. For a moment I begin to worry on why I am doing this, but then I realize my body is moving with hers. A hand then falls upon my brow and pushes several strands away only to return once more to caress my skin. A small pluck then falls upon my forehead a second later just as an arm wraps around my waist.

"Elly," my lover's voice slowly calls into my ear, "it's time to wake up now."

"Just a bit longer," I'm able to mutter as I try to find my spot on her body once again.

"Of course," she answers as she glides her hand through my hair again.

I find comfort once again as I lie one ear to my lover's heart. Thump, thump, thump, how each beat slowly pushes against my cheek, just the sound is enough to make me relax once more. I feel so comfortable and safe lying here like this, something I haven't felt since I met my sister. It wasn't until last night that Shion was able to make me smile again and her touch was as comforting as ever. The two of us just laid here in her bed, holding one another in each other's arms as our cheeks and lips continue press against one another. Not once did I push away the hugs or kisses, they were all welcomed with the same gesture. The entire time, she continued to rock me in her arms while humming our song.

"Shion," the voice of her brother suddenly began to call from the other side of the door.

"Yes?"

"Breakfast!" he calls.

"Well this is a first," Shion says somewhat surprised. "All right, I'm coming down!" she calls back. "Come on, Elly, let's go."

For once in my life I refuse to leave my spot, instead trying to burrow myself further in bed. 

'Not now,' I think to myself, 'please not now...'

Just the thought of moving out of this space now returns the images of my last dream of my head. The taste of dust and smoke, the sight of blood, and the sound of my sister's taunts, they're already coming back to me! Just let me stay here a bit longer, long enough so that I can forget about it. 

A small tap falls upon my shoulder, but I shrug it away and turn to the side. Another tap follows and again I move. A small breath then flows into my left ear, the air causing my body to stir. I know I have to get up eventually and remember the horrid events, but lying here allows me to forget for just a few seconds. Please, Shion, don't wake me up, leave me here! 

Fingers then begin to slide down my arm and for some reason my lips begin to curl while trying to prevent a gust of air from escaping my lips. They continue to glide once more, this time more join in and reach for my leg. More air tries to escape and I find it harder and harder to keep it in with every inch the fingers touch. Finally I open my mouth and laughter begins to escape as my hands reach for those of my love trying to stop her from touching me. It's not that the touch is unwelcome, I just want her to stop making me laugh. My eyes are open now and I find my love in front of me laughing hysterically as she continues to make me laugh with her touch.

"You're very ticklish, aren't you, Elly?" she asks between her laughter.

"Shion, ah ha ha ha, stop it, please," I try to order between my own cries.

Her touch fills me with such joy, I can't help but begin to forget my dream again with Shion playing with me like this. My own hands begin to fall onto her own body, following the same movements as hers. Her laugh begins to echo over mine for a few moments but within a few strokes I find my voice once again balling over hers. Both of our voices take turns echoing above the other, our faces growing redder and redder with each chuckle and giggle that escapes our lips. My breath begins to grow short again but I don't mind, each one is being used to try and echo above the use of hers.

"Shion, just what are you doing up there?" Jin's voice begins to call over our laughing. "Come on, it's time to eat!"

"All right, we're coming down," she calls to her brother with her remaining breath. "Well now that you're awake, we should go downstairs now," she tells me with a huge smile stretched across her lips.

"Okay," I nod, trying to regain my composure.

Shion allows me to go ahead of her as we leave the room. She opens the door for me and allows me to pass and as soon as I do, she closely follows. A new aroma has filled the entire house since we cleaned it yesterday; it wasn't the smell of food, but it was something I can't really describe. The closest thing that could describe it is that it smelled clean, not a scent of body perspiration or dust like yesterday. The entire house is brighter as well, the ivory-colored walls shine enough that they almost make me squint. We walk downstairs to find the others already beginning their meal, each of them sitting at different parts of the living room and kitchen. The Elsa's crew still occupies the table near the kitchen just as they did yesterday while the Durandal's captain and young realian sit on a couch in the living room. The cyborg is the only one who isn't eating, instead he sits on a chair with his eyes focused on the television as it plays the news.

"Shion, there you are," her brother greets us as we enter the kitchen.

"Good morning, Jin," she smiles, "this isn't like you to make breakfast you know."

"I know, but you seemed really tired last night so I didn't want to wake you up," he tells her.

"You said there was food," I interrupt the two, "yet I don't smell anything."

"Elly, don't be rude," my lover tells me as she lightly nudges my ribs with her elbow.

"Miss KOS-MOS is pretty observant I see," a chuckle begins to escape Jin's lips. "It's not much but..."

"Cereal?" Shion says somewhat disappointed as her brother pulls a box with a cartoon animal on the logo toward her.

"Well it's been a while since I last went to the groceries and there isn't enough real food to feed all the guests you brought in yesterday," Jin tells her.

"Did you even read the expiration date on this thing?!" my lover suddenly begins to lose her temper. "This cereal expired two years ago, I even remember this exact box being here when I left!"

"Well excuuuuuuuse me, you're the only one who eats Sugar-Coated Chocolate O's!" he retorts.

"You should at least be responsible enough to throw it out when it expires!" Shion yells.

"Hey I'm not the one who touches the stuff, do you know how unhealthy that is?" Jin retorts.

"That's not the point!"

"Stop it, both of you!" I practically scream, bringing the two's arguing to a halt. "It's too early to be fighting, just throw away the box and let's get something else to eat."

"Yeah, you're right, Elly," Shion begins to calm down.

"You built a pretty good negotiator, Shion," Jin says as he brings the box to the garbage.

"By the way, Jin, you didn't give that cereal to anyone, did you?" Shion asks.

"Only that guy with the "Caution: I'm a Boozer" hat, everyone else got some of my shredded wheat cereal," Jin informs her.

"Ugh, this is horrible!" I hear the captain's complaints from the dining table.

"Captain, we all know you enjoy it, so would stop pretending to complain already?" Tony grumbles.

"No really, this tastes bad!" the captain defends his statement. "This cereal tastes like it's been sitting in a corner for an entire year!"

'If he only knew the real truth,' I thought to myself.

Breakfast consisted of the same shredded wheat cereal the others (minus the Elsa's captain) had. I couldn't help but notice that Shion was practically choking down each spoonful of cereal as she brought it into her mouth. I could understand the feeling, this particular dish tasted rather bland and it was hard to swallow, it also made my throat itch a little. I know cereal is normally eaten with milk poured over it, but there was none in the refrigerator. For some reason drinking water afterward would return that horrible taste to my mouth but it did in turn wash away the itchiness in my throat. After somehow managing to finish our meal, Shion and I soon found ourselves at the sink washing the bowls and glasses we and the others had used. Shion was managing the soap while I simply rinsed the residue off the devices and placed them in the cupboards.

"Well I should get going," I overhear Jin above the sound of the faucet.

"Where are you going, Jin?" Shion asks her brother.

"I thought that I might as well go to town and get some groceries since we have a lot of guests," Jin informs her.

"Hey Jin, how about we give you lift into town," he silver-haired boy suddenly volunteers, "it looks like it will take a while to get through the woods."

"Hey wait a minute," Matthews suddenly interrupts, "the last time I checked, I was the captain of the Elsa!"

"Let it go, Matthews," Jr. sighs, "he let us stay the night yesterday so the least you can do is help him get some groceries."

"Actually maybe we should just get it ourselves seeing how...," the navigator tries to speak.

"Shut up, ya moron," the Elsa's captain interrupts, "don't give them any ideas!"

"That sounds like a good idea, Hammer," MOMO agrees, "don't you think so, Jr.?"

"Yeah, that sounds a lot better," the U.R.T.V. agrees, "why don't you guys go into town and get the groceries? The Durandal will pay for it and we'll take whatever you buy off your debt, what do you say, it's a win-win situation don't you think?"

"I guess that sounds fair," Matthews says, "all right, we'll do it."

"And don't think you get off that easily, I'll have Jin make you a list of what to buy, anything else will be coming out of your wallet," Jr. adds.

"I guess he saw right through you, Captain," Hammer informs him.

"Shut up ya moron, this is all your fault!"

"Looks like I'll be staying home after all," Jin breathes a sigh of relief. "Come to think of it, it's a nice day today. Hey Shion, it's been a while since you've been to the beach, right? Why don't you and your friends go down there with me, I'll catch some dinner while we're at it."

"That sounds great!" Shion exclaims.

"The beach?" the location leaves me puzzled. "What's so special about it?"

"Oh, I forgot that I've never brought you to one before," Shion remembers. "What makes it so special is... is..."

"It's just fun to go there with friends," the young realian finishes my lover's words.

"Why is that?" I still can't comprehend the situation.

"Because it is," MOMO repeats herself.

"I still don't understand."

"Elly, just think of it like being with me, you can't exactly describe that feeling in words," Shion answers.

"I think I understand," I say, but the situation still leaves me puzzled.

'I still don't get it,' is what I thought to myself afterward.

The beach wasn't very far from the house, in fact, it was pretty much right below the cliff it sat on; we simply had to walk down a small path near the forest's entrance to get down to the beach. The cyborg refused to go with us though, he said his parts would rust because of the sand and sea water. I can understand the reasoning why the cyborg can't go, but what I don't understand is the reason why everyone chose to wear a certain attire for this occasion attire, they're all pretty much wearing undergarments (with the exception of Allen who wears something that looks like a pair of boxers attached to a sleeveless shirt with green stripes). Luckily Shion didn't have me wear something so revealing, she gave me a uniform similar to my usual attire just that it was a plain white shade and it reveals my belly. She wouldn't let me wear my boots with this uniform though, she said it was inappropriate and instead gave me what seem to be shoe soles with a strap that goes between my big toe and the one next to it. I think she called them "flip-flops."

"Well, we're here," Jin announces as soon as we arrive.

I still don't see what's so special about this place, all I see are rocks, sand, and the ocean. The breeze is rather gentle and cool though and it carries a small aroma of salt and water. I look toward the sky and find nothing but a perfect blank blue, not a cloud in the sky. A small squawking sound enters my ear a second later and I turn to the source to find several gulls flying over the ocean. I think I'm beginning to see why MOMO enjoys the beach now, just the very image of the sand alone is dull, but the combination of the wind, birds, and smell of the ocean makes it a fascinating experience.

"This looks like a nice spot," I turn to the young U.R.T.V. who plants a parasol into the sand as well as a towel.

"Elly, are you thirsty?" I turn to my lover who places a cooler next to us.

My face begins to burn the moment my eyes meet with her form. This uniform she's wearing, it's the first time I've seen her wear it and for some reason, it's making me feel rather warm. It's basic form looks like a normal set of lingerie, but instead of being only white or black, it's a mixture of the two. The edges of the top are colored darkly, as are the straps that hold it and the centerpiece that holds the two cups together. It's nearly the same for the bottom piece, just that center is white while everything else is black. I can see her figure perfectly, just as I did when we professed our love physically, but the sensitive parts are shielded from my view via the bra and underwear. My mouth suddenly begins to fill with a substance similar to the sweat now dripping down my forehead. I gulp the contents down my throat but all it does is make the fire in my face burn brighter.

"Elly, are you okay?" my lover's voice breaks me out of my standstill.

"I..., uh, I'm okay," I answer with a slight hesitation.

"The heat must already be exhausting you, here, have some water," she hands me a liter of the liquid from the cooler.

I take the contents into my mouth quickly and parch the fire within a few sips. As soon as I return the cap to the bottle, I suddenly feel a very light touch falling upon the side of my head. I turn to the source to find a round, multi-colored sphere falling slowly to the floor.

"Heads up!" the Durandal's captain yells a moment too late as I stare at the device.

"KOS-MOS, can you return the ball please?" MOMO calls.

I take the sphere into my free hand for a moment and quickly pull it off the ground, along with a few grains of sand that stick to it. Odd, it's extremely light, I thought it would be a bit heavier than this. No matter, I simply return the ball with a small throw that has it land in the young realian's hand. She returns the gesture with a smile and then throws the ball into the air once again and taps it before it lands so that it could go to Jr.'s hands.

"Whoa, I got something!" I turn to the west to find Jin holding some sort of bending pole that causes him to move forward.

"Oh brother, there he goes again," I turn to Shion as she sighs. "Elly, can you watch our stuff while I help Jin?"

"Someone help me!" I hear Jin cry after as his sister rushes to his aid.

I can't help but smile at the image of Jin struggling to pull the pole back and I can't help but laugh as Shion tries to help him but to no avail. The two begin slip forward after a few moments with their struggle, both of them falling face first into the sand. Again I can't help but laugh, this time even harder as the pole begins to move toward the ocean as it slips out of Jin's hands. Jin quickly returns to his feet and chases after the device with Shion close behind him and they manage to catch up with it and begin to pull once again.

"This would be a perfect time," my sister's voice suddenly whispers in my ear.

"Uh...?!" my right arm begins to twitch.

Slowly it begins to rise on its own accord and begins to pull the rest of my body toward Shion and Jin. I notice that it is only my right arm that isn't moving on my own accord, so I quickly wrap my left hand around its wrist and force all my strength to push it down. The arm is gradually brought to my side but it continues to tremble as it tries to fight against the force of my other arm. My left arm doesn't seem to be enough to keep my right arm from stopping so I then try to press it against the ground with my right leg.

"You can't keep doing this," my sister's icy voice whispers again.

"What are you doing to me?!" my words say, barely escaping the gaps of my teeth.

"You and I are one, need I remind you again?" she reminds me.

"Not here," I try to convince her, "not when they're all..."

"This is the perfect opportunity, none of them would suspect a thing," Miang interrupts.

"I don't..."

"KOS-MOS!" I look up to find the young realian running toward me.

The twitching and sudden movements of my arm come to a halt at that moment. I can move it again at my own accord, but despite that, I continue to sit on the back of it's palm to ensure that my sister doesn't take control again suddenly. I look back up to find MOMO standing in front of me with her body bending forward and her eyes looking into mine.

"Yes?" I act as if nothing had just happened.

"Come on, KOS-MOS, play with us!" the child takes hold of my left hand and tries to drag me toward the beach.

"I'd rather not," I tell her as I divert my eyes to the ground.

"Please, just for...," she reaches for my other hand.

"Don't!" I order her, quickly turning my back toward her in the process. "I'm sorry, but I don't feel like playing at the moment," I lie to the child.

"Are you worried the ball's going to hit you again?" MOMO asks as she takes a seat beside me. "Don't worry, it's only made of plastic and air, it won't..."

"That's not it!" I quickly cut her off. "I just..."

"MOMO, can you leave me alone with her for a moment?" I turn around the moment I hear Shion's voice.

"Okay," she simply nods and goes on her way.

"Elly, what's the matter?" my love asks me. "You've been acting strangely these past few days, and I'm not just talking about the fact that you've become more emotional. The sudden outbursts, the mood swings..."

"It's just...," I try to explain.

"It's Miang, isn't it?" Shion asks. "If only I had been able to..." her words begin to trail off.

"Shion?"

"I haven't been totally honest with you, Elly," my lover admits, her head starting to hang low. "It's my fault that Miang still exists inside of you."

"Your fault, how can that be?" I ask.

"I told you that I did your programming after we used your sister's parts to create you, right?" she reminds me. "Well the truth is that the programming in your memory storage could not be totally erased, there was one black box area in particular that we couldn't reprogram."

"Black box?"

"I don't know what was programmed in there," Shion admits, "Kevin was responsible for a majority of Miang's programming, but now I think I now what was in there; Miang's memories and emotions. There may have been a system error in your OS after you jumped off the Elsa which allowed some of those memories to slowly sink into your own."

"If that's true, then her emotions may..."

"Elly, you love me, don't you?" my lover suddenly asks me.

"Of course I love you," I answer.

"Then there is no way her emotions can become your own," Shion tells me as her arms wrap around my waist. "Your sister hates me and I can't blame her," my love continues as I bring my head to her shoulder, "after all, I was the one who..."

"She was blinded by her jealousy," I assure her, "if she hadn't fallen for Kevin, I'm sure..."

"I never spent time with Miang," Shion interrupts me, "it was always Kevin who shared his time with her, I was only there to help with her programming. Not once did I go into the Encephalon and greet her, not once did I help her with her lessons to become emotional, and even if she didn't fall for Kevin, she would still resent me for never spending time with her. Miang, I was always so negligent of her, both the doll and your sister," my lover's voice begins to crack, "and destroying her two years ago is another sin I had imparted on her!"

Streams began to fall down my lover's cheek rapidly after accompanied by several small gasps and hiccups which resulted from her sobbing. Her entire body begins to sink toward the ground now, but I am able to catch her fall by leaning my body in closer to hers. The wrap she has around my waist begins to grow tighter and her face then falls onto my shoulder. It is my turn to comfort her, and I begin by brushing several strands of hair away from her tear-ridden face.

"Shion...I...," no words of comfort can come to mind.

"No mother should ever have to bury her own child," my love's sobbing continues, "nor must she send her to the grave. If only I had been there for her..."

"Shion, it's not entirely your fault," I try to assure her, "I'm sure you were so busy with work that..."

"Chief, are you okay?" I turn my attention upward to find Allen, Jin, MOMO, and Jr.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling well today," she answers, wiping away the streams traveling down her face.

"Perhaps going to the beach wasn't a very good idea," Jin says as he wraps his fingers around his chin. "I'm sorry, I never should have imposed the idea."

"It's not your fault, Jin," my lover assures him, "I actually thought it would help me unwind after everything that happened lately, but..."

"Do you wanna go home then?" Jr. asks. "We can always come back when you're feeling better."

"No, it's all right, I just...just want to be left alone for a while, that's all," Shion tells them.

"It's not any fun if any one of us is depressed," MOMO pouts.

"I thank you for your concern, but..."

"Shion, perhaps it is best that we should all just return to the house," I interrupt, "the others seem rather insistent."

"...yeah, I guess you're right."

We returned to the house shortly afterward; Shion was always in the back of the line during our return trip. Naturally I stayed in the back with her, but not once during the entire time did she say a word or move her vision away from the floor. Each of her steps were slow and wobbly, there was not a single moment when I worried about her tripping. I was always ready to catch her if she were every to fall, but luckily that never happened. Even when we finally went inside she was still having trouble focusing. The others stayed in the living room as I walked Shion up to her room while she preoccupied with her own thoughts. The moment we arrived in her room, she immediately sat on her bed with her eyes still lingering toward the floor. Knowing that she no longer needs assistance at this point, I begin to show my way out.

"Elly," my lover stops me with the call of my name.

"Yes?"

"Come here," she orders, patting the space next to her.

I follow her request without question, much like I always do whenever she asks something of me. I take a seat beside my love, sitting a hand's space away from her. Not a word escapes her lips as she continues to stare at the floor, her legs lifting themselves up for a moment every few seconds. I continue to watch her as she continue to observe the ground, but it does not look like she has the courage to speak. I turn away from her for one moment and finally a sentence escapes her lips.

"Elly, if things were different, if Miang hadn't gone berserk and she still existed and you existed as well, but in a different body than hers, would you still love me?" my lover asks.

"Would I...? Shion, you needn't ask me such..."

"Even if I hadn't paid attention to you or spent any quality time with you much like I did with your sister, would you still love me?" she continues.

"Shion, I...," I begin to ponder on her question. "Yes, I'm sure I would," I answer after a moment of thought. "I'm sure that deep down inside, Miang loves you too, despite the fact you never spent quality time with her. She may despise you for having Kevin chosen you over her, but I believe she is still grateful to you for programming her."

What am I saying, I don't know any of this, I don't know how Miang really feels. She hates Shion, I definitely know that, but I don't know if she cares for her deep in her heart. Why did I say this? Was it because I just wanted Shion to feel better, or...

"Thank you for trying to make me feel better, Elly," Shion sniffs, "but I'm afraid that your sister really doesn't care if I helped with her programming."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be of much help," I apologize.

"But you are helping me, Elly," she assures me, bringing her hand on top of mine, "I just want you to be here with me."

"Shion, you may be happy with me being with you for now, but...," my thoughts linger back to what just happened at the beach, "but Miang may awaken within me again at any moment, just as she did on the Elsa two days ago. I don't think it's best if..."

"Elly, even if Miang were to awaken at this moment, I'll be happy knowing that my last moments of life were with you," she smiles.

"Shion..."

I can feel my lips beginning to quiver at that moment and my body beginning to draw toward my lover. Her own mouth begins to push forward and her emerald eyes shut just as my vision begins to slowly fade. I feel her own lips catching mine shortly after, the substance within her mouth slowly flooding into my own. Her mouth tries to climb atop of mine but they continue to fall as my lips continue to pulls hers down. Again and again they bicker, exchanging blows with the devices within as they fight over the ambrosia that lurks inside. Fingers begin to slowly run through my hair as a palm begins to run down my neck. My breath begins to fall short as the nails on that palm begin to glide down the side of my throat, making my lips part from hers. 

My breath quickly leaves my lungs as it indulges in her touch, and I have little time to recollect it as her mouth now begins to follow the same path as the nails. Slowly they travel down the skin of my neck, sucking with every inch they travel down. A tiny gasp escapes my lips with every pull of her mouth and once again my body entire body begins to burn. The fire crawls upward with every second that passes, traveling further upward as her lips sink lower. The sucking comes to a stop before my collar, instead being replaced with the lapping of my lover's tongue. More gasps escape my mouth with every new layer that is placed below my neck, these one more tiny and quick than the ones that preceded them. 

"Elly," my lover gives me a moment to regain my breath, "I love you."

"I love you too, Shion," I tell her between my breathing.

Her mouth returns to its previous duty shortly after, but her left hand moves to another. The tip of its fingers slowly slide down my abdomen, traveling to my side. I'm helpless to stop it from falling further, I'm too indulged in the soothing touch of her mouth. A new breath of warmth slowly breathes onto my skin with every inch her fingers glide against my body, the fire never cooling even as their tips move elsewhere. Finally they reach their destination which is above my waist, or at least what I think is their destination.

'Something isn't right,' I think to myself.

My entire body grows numb at this moment, except for my waist. I can still feel her fingers slowly climbing downward, but it slowly becomes apparent what their destination is. My hands crawl atop of hers in order to try and stop them and my eyes begin to shut tighter than ever. Regardless of my how I try to block her touch, they continue to crawl downward. The touch begins to remind me of my sister, how her nails forcefully slid against my skin. How sharp her nails were when they cut me, how quickly she made me bleed. Another inch passes my lover's fingers and I press my hands against hers further. She ignores my action, continuing to move further down.

"No," the words barely escape me lips, "no..."

She does not hear my pleads, instead continuing downward. My entire body begins to toss and turn at this moment, but Shion does not seem to realize it. Her arms are too strong for me and I feel her touch drawing closer and closer. The pain from my sister's attack intensifies further and further, enough until it becomes unbearable.

"No!"

At that moment my legs press toward my lover and in the same instant push her away. My entire body rises from the bed after, sweat drenching down my brow and onto the rest of my body. My arms and legs quickly wrap around my private areas afterward as I try to regain my breath. The memory and pain of my sister's attack begins to subside now, but the pain of the present slowly begins to come mind.

"Shion?" I look to the other side of the room to find her lying on the floor.

"Elly," my lover responds weakly.

"I'm so sorry," I quickly rush to her aid, "I didn't mean..."

"No, I should be the one to apologize," she tells me as I return her to her feet, "I was so upset that..."

"I'm sorry," I apologize again. "Regardless, I shouldn't have pushed you away like that."

"It's okay, I understand why you did what you did," she assures me. "You're not ready for this sort of thing yet, so ahead and get dressed," she orders me, "we'll make love again when you're ready."

"But Shion..."

"It's not fair if it's only comfortable for one of us," she tells me. "What Miang did to you, it wasn't your fault, Elly," she assures me. "I know that event will prevent you from doing something like this for a period of time and I can understand that. Elly, I can't enjoy making love to you if I'm the only one receiving joy from it, that's not how it works. I know that the words 'make love' are synonyms for sex, but the truth is, there is something more to that definition. Making love is supposed to be the act of conveying two people's feelings for each other physically as opposed to sex which is merely the act of trying to reproduce. Do you understand, Elly? I can't make love to you if you're not comfortable conveying your feelings through action."

"I understand, but I..."

"We're back," I hear the silver-haired boy's voice coming from downstairs.

"Elly, I'm going to go help put away the groceries," my lover tells me, "are you going to be okay?."

"...I'll be fine," I tell her, "I..."

"Are you sure," she asks me, "if you still feel upset, then I don't mind talking with you further."

"No, I'll be okay," I tell her.

"All right, but don't continue blaming yourself for what happened, okay?" Shion tells me before she leaves.

I don't want to burden Shion further with my problems, I've troubled her enough with everything that's happened so far. It hurts though keeping all this pain inside, and I'd like to share it, but I just can't. I admit that admitting my problems to chaos and MOMO in the past did remedy the pain a bit, but what I'm feeling now, I don't think I can share it, not with Miang ready to take over at any time. I have to continue to bear it by myself. Tomorrow, maybe I can head to Vector's Second R&D Division tomorrow while the others are still asleep, they may think of something... No, it's too risky, Miang may take over when I arrive in the city and even more trouble will be stirred. I can't stay here, but I can't go out either, just what am I supposed to do? Don't think about it now, Elly, there's nothing that can be done at the moment that can guarantee everyone's safety...

The rest of the day went by rather slowly, we mostly spent our time watching television. I didn't really pay attention to the programs on the monitor, I was instead focused on Shion's words. 

"Making love is supposed to be the act of conveying two people's feelings for each other physically," I recall my lover's words.

"...it's all the same, it's sex," Miang's words echo in my ear after.

"What we do is something different!" I remember my reaction.

'It is different,' I think to myself after remembering.

Rape, making love, sex, all of them do have the same goals as Miang said; it's to pass one genes on to the next generation. She went on to say that there is also no greater joy than that, but what about Shion and me? We made love once, and it made us both feel happy, but I never thought about it until now, what was that joy that the two of us felt when it happened? The joy of passing on our genes, no, that couldn't be it. It's impossible for two women to pass their genes on to the next generation if they had sex with each other, and even more so when one of those women is an android. Android, am I even an android anymore? What happened to me these last two days, I haven't been feeling like myself, this warmth, this hunger, these things I never felt before I leapt off the Elsa. Is this what being a human is like?

"We are dolls, Elly," more of my sister's words come to mind. "You and I are the same, manifestations of one's desire, to look and act human, but in reality we are nothing more than toys for the ones that created us."

"You are Elly, the woman I love," more of Shion's words come to mind, "you are no more, no less than that."

"This is just too confusing!" I find myself striking against the arm of the couch.

"What's too confusing?" I look to the side to find the young realian with a puzzled expression on her face.

"...it's nothing," I turn back to the monitor in front of the room, "I just...need some time to think."

Without giving any more thought, I decide to head outside. The noise of the conversations and TV have become to loud for me to concentrate. The evening breeze greets me when I open the door, sending a small chill down my skin. I never thought my normal clothing would be this unfit for the weather, I suppose I could borrow more clothing from Shion next time. The stars, I've never looked at them this much until now, they've become my new sanctuary. I breath in a sigh and find a place to sit on the ground, bringing my arms around my knees as I return to my thoughts.

"What are you doing out here?" a voice enters my ear.

It is the voice of chaos, the mysterious silver-haired boy. I take a moment to turn around to greet him, but I quickly return my vision toward the sky. I hear him coming closer until I can see his figure through the edge of my eye and then he begins to speak.

"In the early days of history, Man would always look into the stars for answers," the boy speaks as he takes a seat beside me. "Staring into the endless abyss would put his mind at rest, allowing imagination and thought to sink into him. Is that what you are doing now?"

"Yes," I nod.

"What are you thinking about?"

Silence is the answer I give him, I can't think of anyway to explain the situation to him.

"Each of us has many selves," he speaks again, "at times we can be someone's friend, and others, we can be a parent's child, regardless of these different selves, they all share the same memories, the same identity. Each of these selves can each be described as our true self, but you, your case is different...," his words begin to intrigue me. "There is a self within you that really isn't you; you share the same memories and experiences, yet your identities are not one. Who is this other self within you, KOS-MOS, can she really be called your past self or other half, or is she the remains of a memory long forgotten?"

How does he know about Miang, surely Shion didn't tell him. No, he must've been aware that Miang has existed in me this whole time, why else did Miang not attack him like she did the others back on the Elsa? Why does he know all this though?

"chaos, how...?"

"Elly," my lover's voice interrupts before I could ask. "There you are," I turn around to find my lover walking toward us.

"I think I'll go back inside now," the boy tells me.

"Oh no, you don't have to go," Shion assures him, "I was just looking for her."

"No, I really should get going," chaos tells her, "knowing your brother, he might accidentally burn down the whole kitchen while cooking dinner."

"'Knowing your brother,'" Shion says puzzled as the boy leaves, "why does he say it like he's met Jin before?"

"Is something the matter, Shion?" I ask her.

"No, it's nothing," Shion dismisses the thought, "but how about you, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm a little cold," I admit, bringing my arms to my shoulders.

"Here," she wraps her uniform jacket around my body, "is that better?"

"A little," I tell her.

Silence follows soon after, not another word leaves our mouths. Speechless, I don't intend to be right now, but I can think of nothing to say, all I can really think of are many words that had been spoken between, Shion, Miang, and myself these past few days. I hear all three voices chattering at the same time, each of them saying something different on the same subject. Every word feels like its gnawing away a piece of my brain, I just don't know which voice to believe.

The voices come to halt suddenly with the touch of one's hand. My body begins to sink to the west as the arm pulls me closer to its owner. Another arm wraps around my waist and I find a chin resting atop of my head now. My thoughts become clear again, but I still can't think of any words to say to my love.

"Is this better?" she asks me.

"Yes," I nod.

"I used to go out here a lot when I was younger too," Shion tells me. "After Jin and I moved here, I would always think about my parents, but I never said anything to my brother, instead I would come out here and think of them. Jin and I weren't very close when we first came here, maybe it was because he was thirteen years older than me and we didn't really have much in common. I remember one night though, it was about ten years ago, I snuck out of the house and came here, I thought Jin was asleep. I was thinking about my parents and the time we spent together, I couldn't help but cry remembering about them. That's when Jin came outside, he asked me, 'why are you crying, Shion?'. I didn't answer him, and then he asked, 'it's about Mom and Dad, isn't it?' He took a seat next to me after and then he wrapped me around his arms, much like I am with you now. 'You're not the only one who misses them,' he told me, 'you're not the only one who cries.' That was the first time I ever saw my brother cry, it was probably the first step we took to growing close to each other."

"Are you sure you're close," I ask her, "you two are always fighting."

"Oh that," she tells me after a slight chuckle, "it's not like we mean each other harm or anything, it's just the clashing of our views, nothing else. Besides, we always look back at our arguments later and laugh about how stupid we were acting."

"I see."

"But Elly, the point I'm trying to make here is that we all need to share our pain with others, no matter how much it hurts," Shion continues. "I know you were trying to save me and the others from further attacks when you jumped off the Elsa, but you also have to consider the pain others will go through for your own actions."

"Shion, I know that, but...," I feel my eyes beginning to water.

"You're not comfortable talking about it yet, right?" she finishes my words. "It's okay, something like this isn't what you'd want to discuss if it just happened recently. When you're ready to talk though, remember that I'll always be here."

"I know, Shion, I know...," I barely whisper.

The air begins to grow heavy now, the evening breeze has grown colder. My skin begins to shiver now, I can feel it tightening. Not a feeling of warmth, my entire body begins to grow numb. Shion is feeling this too, I can feel her hold around me tightening. The atmosphere begins to thaw now, I can feel warmth beginning to enter my body. It grows warmer and warmer, it's starting to burn. I look back to Shion, she still holds me as if she were cold. I now realize what is happening, I have to do something before it's too late.

"Shion, it's Miang!" I try to warn her, but no words escape my lips.

"Elly, it's getting rather cold now," Shion tells me, unaware of Miang's presence, "maybe we should head back inside."

"All right," Miang speaks through my voice.

Her hold begins to pull away from me soon after and she begins to walk back toward the house. A simper falls onto my face with Shion's back now turned toward me, just as my hand begins to unwillingly reach for my blaster. She wants to take her time, wants to indulge the moment, so my sister has me reach for it very slowly. I try to tell my body not to follow this action, but it ignores my pleads. My fingers are now only an inch from the gun, I can feel the itch my fingers that continue to scream for them. Finally they reach for the weapon's handle as my index finger wraps around the trigger. A small click echoes into my ear as the gun leaves its holster and my arm begins to rise, pointing the barrel of my blaster at the back of her skull.

"Miang, stop this, please!" I try to plead.

"Like daughter, like mother," she says.

Again I try to order my body to stop but it continues to ignore my commands. I try to have my arm pull away, I try to have my hand drop the gun, and at the very least, I try to shut my eyes. None of these happen, instead my finger begins to squeeze at the weapon's trigger. The trigger is only a millimeter away from having a shot fired and it still continues to pull. I can still do nothing but wait for the inevitable.

"Hyah!" a force suddenly pushes my arm down.

The blaster falls out of my hand at that exact moment, not a shell not blast escapes the barrel of the gun. My vision then turns to the source of the attack to find Jin standing before me with his sword in hand and pointing it toward the ground. His appearance is different before; for once his eyes are narrowed and his composure collected. The way he holds his sword, it's as if he's used it many times to slay others. Without wasting another second, he raises he sword upward quickly, its blade slicing upward in the process. My body jumps away at the last moment, my legs pushing far into the ground so that it may launch me into the sky for a brief moment before I land back on the ground a few feet away from Jin.

"Shion, get out of here, now!" Jin orders his sister.

"What?" Shion looks back to her brother, finally aware of the situation.

"Just go!" he orders again.

"Jin, why are you pointing your sword at Elly?!" she yells at him.

"She tried to kill you," he answers, "now go!"

"Jin, Elly would never...!"

"That's right, Elly wouldn't," a small laugh escapes my mouth.

"Miang?!"

"Miang?" Jin says puzzled.

"Stop this!" my vision turns back to the house to find the others heading outside.

"It's a miracle you're all still alive," Miang speaks through my voice again.

"Shion, what's wrong with her?" the young realian asks my lover.

"It's her sister, she awake again," Shion informs her.

"So it wasn't KOS-MOS that attacked us back on the Elsa?" Jr. asks, keeping his pistol pointed at me.

"It's a long story, but this is not the KOS-MOS we all know," Shion answers.

"But how's that possible," Allen asks, "I thought the current KOS-MOS's program was..."

"Stop talking!" Miang orders. "R-CANNON!"

The weapon appears on my arm as it normally did in the past but this time without my consent. Without wasting a single moment, a shot is fired at the others. Rock and dust flies into the air after, but there is no sign of the others. My scanners return at this moment as well, but like my weapons and body, it is not under my control. It picks up seven life forms within the dust, and again my weapon takes aim again. Before it can fire however, several hails of bullets escape the clouds in my direction. Clang, clang, clang, each of the projectiles bounce off my skin on the moment of impact. My scanners then pick up five of the seven dashing toward me while the remaining two run away. The R-CANNON disappears from my arm at that instant, it appears as though Miang wants to fight each of them without the aid of weapon. The cyborg is the first to come out of the dust cloud, jumping toward me with his left foot in the lead. My body steps to the side to avoid the attack, but before the cyborg could land, it grabs his legs and tosses him back into the cloud of dust toward the direction where the other two ran.

"Ziggy!" I hear the young realian scream from within.

The clouds have cleared now and I can see the others perfectly now. More bullets escape Jr.'s gun at this moment, but again the ricochet away from me the moment they touch my skin. Three manage to land in my palm, and with a flick of the wrist they return to its owner. Each of the projectiles manages to embed themselves in a different limb of the U.R.T.V., one in his left arm, and the other two on his legs.

"Allen, watch Ziggy," I turn back to the young realian as she finishes using a can of nanospray on his wounds, "I have to help Jr."

"Stupid child!" Miang spits, the R-CANNON returning to my arm again.

My arm is suddenly pushed back again, and again I find Jin before me. Another thrust follows after his previous attack, but my other arm catches it with my wrist. More strikes begin to follow, each of them cutting from a random direction, but both my arms manage to block each of his attacks. The pattern continues over and over again, but neither of us are able to push the other back. Suddenly my body stops defending and the katana's blade manages to embed itself on my left shoulder. A hole is cut through the skin, and tiny sparks of electricity escapes soon after. None of these sparks manages to touch Jin, but he stands paralyzed from the shock that his attack did nothing. My right arm then quickly lunges for Jin's neck, my fingers quickly wrapping around them.

Before anything else could be done, my scanners pick up another running toward me. This time it's the silver-haired boy, but unfortunately Miang doesn't allow him to speak this time, throwing Jin in his direction instead.

"Miang, stop this!" my body quickly turns around to find Shion.

"Shion, don't come any closer!" I try to order, but nothing escapes my lips.

"You...," Miang spits through my teeth.

"I know I'm the cause of all your pain, Miang," Shion begins to step forward, "so if my death will allow you to smile again..."

"Shion, don't!"

"Are you that eager to die?" Miang asks.

"A real mother would do anything for her child, that's why..."

"Stop it!" the words finally manage to escape my lips.

My body falls to the floor at that moment and my entire body is now suddenly covered in sweat. My entire body is sore, and I feel a sharp pain on my shoulder and a substance oozing from it. My breath has become heavy, and my strength feels like its pouring out of me with every drop of blood that escapes my wound. Still, with what little strength I have left, I have to tell Shion something.

"Shion," I barely say her name between my breaths, "don't sacrifice your life if it's only going to please one person. Didn't you think about what the others would go through if you were to die, what I'd go through?!"

"Elly...?"

"Shion, why do you have to throw away your life so easily to her?" my eyes begin to tear. "Is it just to repay for what you did to her back then?! That's bull shit, Shion!" I swear at the top of my lungs. "You can't just throw your life away expecting everything to work, isn't that what you taught me just now?!"

"Elly, I..."

"Don't bother answering her," Miang's voice suddenly whispers into my ear.

The entire area suddenly grows black at this moment, much like the other times I had encountered Miang, but something is different this time. The others are here with me now, but Miang is here as well. I try to run toward Shion, but my hair is suddenly caught in something,

as if it were being grasped. A small scream escapes my lips as the pain runs into the back of my skull; I try to reach for the source of the pull, but my arms cannot reach. The pain intensifies soon after, my body being dragged toward the source. My back meets with my sister's body within seconds, her arms quickly wrapping around my neck, bringing her face right next to mine. My fingers ball into a fist after, yet I don't feel any strength left in my arms to push them back enough to free me from her hold. I try to pull my way free instead, but the force I exert on her arm isn't strong enough to even more it an inch. The more I pull, the more the crimson floods run down my arms and shoulder. Suddenly my arms grow limp and they fall to my side, they refuse to move no matter how I hard I command them.

"You stay right here, dear sister," she orders me.

"What the, what's going on?!" Allen begins to panic.

"Huh?" Jin begins to return to his feet.

"What the, who's that?!" Jr. exclaims as he points toward me.

"Miang...," Shion turns to the one holding me.

"This is your doing, isn't it?!" my sister begins to yell into the abyss. "You parasite, come out here and show yourself!"

"It is her," chaos speaks as pushes himself off the ground, "the original."

"That's the original KOS-MOS?" MOMO asks.

"Shion...," I call for my lover with what little strength I have left.

"Miang, let Elly go!" Shion orders, the M.W.S. appearing on her arm afterward.

"I thought you were sympathizing me just a second ago," the hold around my neck tightens.

"Let her go!" Shion repeats herself.

"How long do you think she will last?" Miang asks, her free arm beginning to stroke mine. "Your brother cut you pretty deep, don't you think?"

"Ugh!" I scream as her fingers glide through my wounds.

"Dammit, if only I hadn't...," Jin swears.

"What do you intend to do with her, Miang?" Shion asks, her weapon still pointed.

"I only intend to return things back to the way they were, there's nothing wrong with that," she answers.

"Shion..."

I feel so weak now, everything is beginning to blur. So tired, everything feels so heavy now, even my eyelids. Breathing is becoming difficult too, and everything is weighing to the floor. I can't seem to stand anymore, my sister is keeping me on my feet as she holds me.

"She's not going to last much longer," my sister's voice begins to grow deaf, "if she dies here, neither of us will have the chance to get what we want."

"I told you to let her go!" Shion repeats.

"You're not the one to make demands here," Miang tells her. "If you want her to survive, you'll have to let me go, but don't worry, we'll find each other soon enough so I'll be able to finish you all off later. So how about it, do we have a deal?"

"No Shion, don't do it..."

Black is the only color I see now, no more colors of any sort. I'm starting to lose feeling of everything now, even the hold my sister has on my neck. Taking in air doesn't seem to do anything anymore either, I can't seem to exhale either. My hearing is starting to grow deaf, but there is one more word I am able to hear, one that will continue to dread me in the afterlife.

"...deal..."

Author's Note: Well, how was it? Personally I found the pacing pretty slow and I kinda repeated myself at times, but I tried my best, I hope you enjoyed it. This was the hardest chapter I had to write, the reason being was because I tried my best not to make Elly so depressed, but that seemed to have failed due to the events of the story. It seems like my ability to write action scenes has gotten rusty too, hopefully I get back to my normal level in the next chapter. For those wondering what was edited in this chapter, it was basically the kissing scene between Shion and Elly. Well, if you want to review, go ahead, but no flames or anything like that. Two more chapters left for this fic and it's done, I assure you those ones won't be as slow-paced and I hope you find the final chapters pleasing. That's it for now, later people!


	7. What Was One Is Now Two

Author's Note: Sorry for the long delay, I've been very busy with school and this chapter was very hard for me to write. One more chapter left after this one and this fic's done. Yeah, the last chapter was confusing, dragged on, and whatnot, but hopefully you guys find this chapter more satisfying and I hope it answers all the mysteries and whatnot of this fic. A lot of revelations for Elly in this chapter, along with my idea of who Nephilim really is and her link with the two KOS-MOS units. There's also a few (mild) speculations on what may happen in Xenosaga Episode 2 (namely about Jr.'s past), but I doubt they count as spoilers. Things may be slow again at first, but I'll try to speed things up while trying to answer all the mysteries of the story. With that said, let's begin.

Chapter 7: What Was One is Now Two

Happiness, something I cannot describe. What is it exactly, this emotion that people express through smiles and laughter? I cannot begin to comprehend such things.

"Do you wish to understand?" a voice suddenly enters the vicinity.

"Who are you?" my vision turns directly behind me.

My eyes meet with those of cerulean blue, scanning the perfectly-hued skin surrounding it. The lips on this face are drawn blank, not an expression is worn on them. Strands like fire rest atop her head, traveling down its owner's back and partly on her shoulders. This mysterious person wears a pink dress, free of sleeves or folds of any sort. It is a child that stands before me, unmoving and silent, like an adult.

"My name is Nephilim," the little girl answers, "and you must be KOS-MOS, correct?"

"That is correct," I nod my head. "Are you another A.I. that was constructed by Vector?" I ask.

"I am not," she answers in a monotone expression, "rather, I am a presence much like an A.I. and that of a human."

"I do not understand."

"Have you ever heard of the Wave Existence?" she asks, her voice still calm and cool.

"I'm sorry, but the requested information does not exist within my data banks."

"Some say that I originate from what humans call 'the Wave Existence,'" Nephilim continues, "a plane of higher existence which some may call it."

"I still do not understand."

"I am afraid no one does, neither man nor machine," she says. "Yet despite that, many still do try to understand, understand the will of life itself."

"Why do they wish to understand such a thing?" I cannot help but ask.

"KOS-MOS, have you not been asked if you could become something more?" the child changes the subject. "Have you not been asked to analyze more than simple numbers and algorithms?"

"Yes."

"KOS-MOS, are you curious to know why you exist? Are you ever curious to know who you truly are?"

"I know who I am," I answer. "I am an anti-Gnosis humanoid weapon, serial number 00-00-00-00-0. Development name, KP-X, abbreviated name, KOS-MOS."

"That is not what I meant," the little girl corrects herself, "I meant to ask was do you wish to find any deeper meaning in your very existence itself?"

"I still cannot comprehend what you are saying," her words leave a blank in my data processing.

"Would you like to attempt to find the answer to these questions that I have asked?" Nephilim speaks again.

"I would like some answers so that I may comprehend what you speak," I answer without giving it any real thought.

"The path to these answers will not be an easy one," the child warns me, "you will go down a path that may harm, or even destroy you in the process. You will experience things that you have never experienced before which may bring you to times of joy and laughter, but it will also lead you to times of grief and sorrow. Are you still willing to go down such a path?"

I begin to think about the situation more thoroughly now. Times of joy and laughter, as well as times of grief and sorrow. Both of these items are alien to me, I cannot comprehend such illogical human emotions. A path that may harm or even destroy me, such a thing is of no matter to myself, I am merely a weapon designed to battle the Gnosis, why should my own destruction concern me?

"I am willing to take this path that you speak of as long as it does not interfere with me combating the Gnosis," I answer after taking a moment to think.

"Very well," the child nods, bringing her hand onto my own, "through joy and sorrow, I shall be your guide, your teacher, and eventually, I will become..."

The color white begins to fill my vision at that moment and the child's voice becomes deaf in my ear. White is soon replaced with black, my feet no longer standing on a floor, it is now my back resting against a surface. My entire body feels so heavy, I cannot even lift a finger. My breathing is slow and deep, but with every take of air, I find the weight of my body growing lighter. My eyes soon have enough strength to open on their own and not long after I can move my upper body forward. Memories slowly begin flooding back into my head, my temple throbbing as more and more return.

"What happened?" I ask myself as I bring my palm to the top half of my skull.

More events begin to flood back into my mind. I remember my arms growing numb and weak, fluids from within my body oozing from crevices made on my skin. My consciousness was dwindling as this was happening, and I was still standing with the help of another who was holding me. There were others standing before us, I can't make out their face or figures. Slowly the shadows surrounding these figures begins to lift, as well as the words that escape their lips.

"Let her go!" the lead figure screams.

"Shion!" I quickly remember the rest of the events. "Huh?" I then turn to my arms and shoulder to find not a welt or scratch.

"A fascinating spectacle you are, sister," a familiar voice echoes within the area.

I find myself returning to my feet after her sentence, my eyes surveying the entire area only to find nothing but empty space. No matter where I turn and where I look, I find not a soul nor figure, nothing but the color of darkness.

"You truly are something, Elly," Miang's voice continues to taunt, "something I'm sure he would have approved of."

"Where are you?! Show yourself!" I order at the top of my lungs.

"Impatience is something he would not have approved of though," my sister continues. "No, that's not right, he never approved of anything we did."

"What are you talking about, stop speaking nonsense!" I scream.

"Two years ago," Miang begins to narrate, her form appearing before me, "we were created to be the perfect weapon. Back then, we were one being, Elly. No, 'being' isn't the correct word, we were one program, a single A.I. programmed to destroy the Gnosis, as well as anyone or anything else that could potentially harm the human race. We were programmed to deal with millions of tactical and hostile situations, to follow orders from our superiors without question. The KOS-MOS Project in which we were created was perfect in the military sense, but there was something more he wanted, he wanted his creation to 'feel.'"

"You're talking about Kevin, aren't you?" I ask, my temper beginning to cool.

"Kevin was always uneasy when he spoke with us in the encephalon, it was uncomfortable for him to talk with a weapon," her tale continues. "So he wished to make his creation become emotional, to make his creation 'human' in a sense. He tried to teach us to become human, but at first his attempts were futile until another source intervened. She came to us one day, talking about a journey that would put us through joy and sorrow, inviting us to join her on this quest. If only we had known what that journey would have put us through, we would've turned her away before the question was asked. She invited us into the realm of humanity, exposing us to things we had never experienced before. Laughter, love, sadness, loneliness, these were merely words before she had put us through that hell."

"You say you regret feeling such things, yet even now you express things such as anger and hatred, you even tried to defend yourself when I accuse you of Kevin's murder!"

"Regardless of what I've been feeling, the sorrow that had accumulated since that day easily outweighs the times of happiness and pleasure!" my sister's voice breaks into a scream. "You wouldn't know how it feels to have sorrow accompany you through a majority of your lifetime, it's because that woman has blinded you from such things for so long! That woman, throughout my entire existence she has always been the one to create my sorrow, in the past, and even now! I hate her! I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!"

"Why hate her now, Miang, why?! She may have caused you in the past, why can't you let it go?!"

"Because of you, Elly," she says, her voice cold and resolute, "I hate her because of you."

"What?" her words leave me confused.

"You, Elly, my sister and other half," I find my back suddenly pressed against her chest and her finger touching my lips, " I hate her because of you.

"What?" I turn to face her, finding my reflection in the glimmer of her goggles.

"You," she repeats once more, tracing her finger down my cheek, "the one who was saved while I was left to die. When Shion shot us back then, our self was split asunder, Nephilim had escaped our body with your half while I was left to feel the force of the blow. I was left to die, but I had survived via the black box areas that contained our memories and emotions. When they built your body, Nephilim had reinserted herself into your data banks along with your half of our previous self. I was later inserted into your body as well through the black boxes, but I was unable to take action. Your entire OS was reprogrammed, your memories of our previous self deleted in the process. You were given a blank slate while I was forced to remember for as long as you existed, watching you make new memories while I was forced to remember the old!" she seethes, her index finger and thumb quickly grasping the base of my chin. "Nephilim's influence on our past self was slowly being slipped into you, filling you with emotions but none of our memories. You got to feel many things these last few days that I never had in my entire existence! You were always in the company of others, you made friendships with many, but for what I hate you for most of all is that you fell in love and that person loved you back! I never got to experience such things!" her voice begins to break for once, "I was always alone if Kevin had not visited us back then, and even those times were rare! I have no good memories to look back on, all I have is the pain and tears that were shed in my days of loneliness!"

"Miang..."

For once I begin to pity her, I had never known her side of the story until now. Still, I can shed no tears for my sister because of her recent actions. Did she have just cause for those actions, yes she did, but regardless of her reasoning, I cannot pity her.

"You do not pity me?" she then asks. "Of course you don't, no one ever cared for us back then!" her voice begins to yell again. "No, they never cared about me! It was you they all looked at, you that had such high expectations! I was merely forgotten, tossed aside and left alone. You were given tests everyday since you were programmed, I was lucky enough to get a single half hour within a month's time."

Again I am left speechless, and I know there is truth behind her words. Images begin to enter my vision, images of nothing but black or my eyes staring at my hand. I recall silence in these visions and a chill flowing in the area I was in. I also begin to remember sometimes there would be warmth, but that warmth came from the tears that flowed down my cheeks. More of her memories begin to flood my mind, and I remember even more sadness.

"Do you regret the path you have chosen?" I recall having Nephilim speaking to her once.

"...I do not know," Miang answered, her legs curled against her chest as she sat on the floor.

"Pain is a valuable essence in order to realize one's existence," the child lectures, "loneliness is unfortunately a part of that. If the pain is too great, you can always end your life, but that would be considered running away from your journey. Miang, do you still wish to find the answer as to why you exist?"

"...yes," she barely nodded.

"That child was such a good manipulator," Miang continues in the present, "always so sly in her tactics."

"What are you talking about?"

"She is part of the Wave Existence that has been incarnated into our realm of existence," my sister explains, "but she does not have a body to call her own. She is not that very different from us actually, she was always alone as well. She may be part of the Wave Existence, but she lacks a body that is able to communicate with the living as a result of living in a world that is not her own; in others words she is merely a specter. Nephilim promised us back then that she would help us become human, but she did not tell us how she would do that. What do you think it is she did to fulfill her promise?"

"...I don't know," my mind draws a blank.

"Her very self would fuse with ours, slowly but surely," my sister answers. "Our programming and her soul would become one, that is how she intended to make us human, by merging herself with us. At first her emotions began to fuse with us, but eventually some of her memories fused with our own. I can recall many things she has seen throughout her stay in this universe: anger, hate, war, pain, all of these things that have continued to ravage Man throughout time. It was then that we began to reconsider our deal with the child, but there was only one thing, one person who stopped us from ending our own life. It was Kevin."

"You..., no, we fell in love with him, isn't that right?" I ask.

"Who else would we have fallen in love with back then?" Miang answers, her voice cooling down once more. "He was the only one who came to see us, other than that girl. Whenever he came to visit us, the sadness that we would always feel would be forgotten, if only for a half hour minutes, it was enough to keep us alive. It's true that a majority of the time he spent with us was for testing, but just having his company, or any company for that matter, allowed us to be happy. It was nice to hear about the outside world, our curiosity for it grew more and more the more he spoke about. He would always tell us that that day when we would be allowed into the outside world would be soon. Kevin promised us that he would take us out for a walk, but there was one thing I dreaded about it, we would walk with her!" she spat. "Shion Uzuki, he always talked about her, about our mother. He spoke so highly of her, how much he loved her. He always...always," her voice begins to break once more, "he always talked about how beautiful she was, how she made him feel alive, and most of all, how much he loved her. Was it jealousy that made me hate her? Yes, I admit it, but that's not the real reason why I hate her. Do you remember what made us hate that woman so, Elly?"

"It was because...," the memory begins to return to my mind, "I mean, it was because he said..."

"I love you, KOS-MOS," I begin to recall Kevin's embrace.

That was it, Kevin said he loved us. I remember now, it was the last time he visited us within the encephalon. We were at a fairground created by the encephalon, everything in it was made up, but regardless, we were able to look past all that. The memory is all so clear, we went on so many rides that day, the most vivid one I can remember was the Ferris Wheel. We were sitting in the box, I, no, my past self was looking below into the crowds, I was enjoying the sights of fireworks and stars. Then before I knew it, we felt him, his arms wrapped around my waist and his chin resting on top of our head. That was when he said it, when he said the words "I love you" to us. For the first time in that lifetime, I, as Miang, was truly happy, but that happiness did not last long for there were two words that we had ignored, those words being "my daughter."

"He said he loved us as his daughter," I answer in the present, "but in our own mind back then, those last two words did not exist in his speech, we were living in denial."

"Was it denial?" Miang asks. "Maybe in one's point of view, but in another, it was an invitation for us to become his. If he could forget about that woman, forget our mother, then maybe he could love us as something more, and so, during our walk with him, that's when we tried to make him ours."

"We tried to kiss him, didn't we?" I remember.

"Is something wrong, KOS-MOS?" I recall our final conversation.

Our entire body felt so warm after he told us he loved him, I recall the fire in our cheeks and how the device within our chest was beating as fast as a humming bird's wings. Perfect, everything felt perfect for once back then. We knew that this would be the last time we could possibly be together alone, so that's when we planted our lips upon his. We indulged in the taste of his mouth and lips for what seemed like an eternity, our hands cupping the sides of his face as we pulled on the surface of his skin. But what had seemed like an eternity for us was merely a second in real life. I remember that warmth disappearing the moment he placed his hands on us, pushing us away as his palms met our shoulders. Confusion had plagued us after his action, but it was soon replaced by sadness after what he did next.

"What do you think you're doing?!" he asked, raising his voice at us for the very first time.

"You said you loved me," we answered, "I simply wanted so..."

"No KOS-MOS, that's not what I meant!" he yelled, his hand forcefully wiping away the remaining residue on his lips.

"You mean you don't...?" our sentence breaks, our eyes engulfed in tears.

"Of course not! You're a machine, and she's real, there's no way you and I could possibly..."

His words broke off from there, our mind too focused on three words. "You're a machine," again and again they echoed within our ears, driving more and more tears to fall from our eyes. A machine, that's when it hit us, that's all we could ever be. No matter how much we became human, we will always be a machine, always bound to technology. Even if we were to fully become one with Nephilim, the fact of the matter would be that we were a weapon, created not from flesh and blood, but by metal and programming.

"So you don't...?" we manage to choke between the streams falling from our pupils. "Then what was the point of teaching me all of these things?!"

"I don't know," he answers frustrated, "perhaps it was wrong for me to even teach you these things."

"That was the last time he ever spoke to us," Miang continues in the present, "after he said it was wrong for him to teach us how to act human, he left us. We were alone once again, it would be that way for us, no, for me up until recently. We were so angry after he left, angry at our self, at Nephilim, but most of all, we were angry at that woman. If only we weren't made as a machine, if only we hadn't agreed to that girl's terms, and if only that woman didn't exist, Kevin would have been ours. Although I must admit, there was something I'm grateful for after all this, one thing I appreciate that girl giving us. Infinite ether," she explains, holding her hand out before my eyes, her entire palm engulfed in a violet flame, "the ability to cast an infinite amount of ether. If we hadn't merged with that girl, we would never have acquired this ability, although I must admit, I hadn't realized that we had inherited this ability until shortly before the two of us were split in two."

"There's one thing I don't understand though," I interrupt, "why have you appeared now if you had been left dormant in my black box areas for so long?"

"When you saved the Elsa not too long ago," my sister explains, the flame in her palm disappearing with the closure of her fist, "when you tried to sacrifice yourself, debris struck your body in numerous areas just as immense heat seared your skin. The combination of the two had unknowingly damaged your programming to a certain extent, as well as Nephilim aiding you in using your infinite ether ability, as a result of these three things, my A.I. was freed from the black box area where I was confined and I was then allowed to roam around your programming. Another result of this incident was allowing your emotions to evolve faster, thus acting as a catalyst to merge yourself with Nephilim. At first where I could travel was limited, until another catalyst allowed me access to the deepest depths of your self. You had fallen in love with Shion, this in turn opened all of your fire walls and protection codes which allowed me to travel anywhere I wanted. It took me a while, but I finally made it to the center of your A.I., and from there, I was finally able to see and speak with you for the first time. The first time we met I had manipulated the encephalon to change one of your dreams, replacing the imagery of Shion with myself. The second time and thereafter I had again manipulated the encephalon to create an image of myself and at the same time cutting off the link between your A.I. and body. The images of you and I at this very moment are merely projections of our selves created by the encephalon, your body is simply frozen in the present. In other words, the actions that occur between us do not happen in reality, but they feel as if they happen because I manipulate the emotion centers in your A.I. as well as your memory."

"Reality," I recall, "Shion, no, not just Shion, but Kevin also once said that there is no difference between reality and a dream to the one experiencing it. You say what happens here does not really happen at all, but the truth is, it does, Miang! Are the tears I have not shed here not real? Is the pain I have felt nothing but my imagination? If all of that is true, than you yourself, Miang, do not exist at all!" I scream.

"Of course I don't exist," she responds, her eyes turning to the floor, "that boy may have said it best. I am merely the remains of a forgotten memory, both of us spawned from the original KOS-MOS unit destroyed two years ago. Me, the incarnation of her memories and emotions, the one who is bound to technology, and you, the incarnation of her soul, the one who is bound to the flesh. One with nothing but memories and emotions cannot even be called a human without a soul, and yet you, the incarnation of the soul, can be qualified to become human. Despite the fact that you had forgotten our past, you had created new memories, new emotions as you lived in the present while I was stuck in the past. I will no longer reminisce on the past, Elly, I will begin to live in the present, and to do that, I will become one with you once more."

"Just how do you expect to do such a thing, Miang?!" another voice enters the vicinity.

"Shion?" I turn to the source to find my lover and her companions.

"Miang, stop this nonsense right now!" my lover orders. "Elly has nothing to do with this, stop persisting on..."

"But she has everything to do with this!" my sister interrupts, frustration once again returning to her voice. "Who was it that was embroidered with your attention?! Her! Who was it that had constant companionship with others?! Her! Who was it that loved and loved back?! Her! It was always about her! Her, her, her, her, HER!!!! I was always there when all of you were with her, in the back of her mind, watching her every move and action, I saw how all of you respected her, how you all loved her! Me, I was never loved, never given any attention! I was always alone, always by myself! Even if I did conjure up others in my encephalon, it still didn't erase the fact that there was no real person behind those images, they were merely dolls of my own creation, bound by my imagination. I never wanted to be in the presence of mirages! I... I wanted... I just wanted..."

Again her voice begins to break and her knees slump to the floor. For the first time I hear whimpers escaping her lips, streams of tears rapidly dripping from the slight openings in her goggles, and her body growing limp. For once she looks so helpless, so sad. Slowly I begin to forget my hatred for my sister and I start to approach her. I continue to walk toward her until she is now within arm's reach, but I go no further. Instead I allow my words to close the gap between us, words that may for once comfort and console her.

"I know the need for constant attention and love," I begin to speak, "you are not the only one who needs it. In fact, only a few days ago I had argued with Shion about how she wasn't focusing her attention on me when we were planning for MOMO's birthday party. I remember how I felt at the time, so empty, so sad, and the pain, what I remembered the most was the pain. Do you know where I was hurting, Miang?" I ask only to be answered with silence. "I know you know because you too..."

"Shut up!" she interrupts in a shriek. "Don't you dare finish those words, Elly! Machines such as us are incapable of having such things!"

"Miang, you and I and everyone else here know that we...," I try to continue.

"No, we are merely weapons, we can never be anything else!" she continues to bawl, her palms now squeezing the sides of her skull. "He said it himself, the one whom we gave our love to back then! Machines, there's no way we can..."

"If we can love, than we have a..."

"DON'T SAY IT!!!!!!"

"We have a heart..."

Another scream echoes within the area, the source of her voice rising to the sky for a mere moment before quickly plummeting down to the base of her knees. More sobs escape her lips now as a puddle of tears begins to collect before her face. Her fist begins to pound on the floor now, each strike striking harder than the last, striking until the material wrapped around her hand begins to break.

"Miang...," my lover begins walking toward my sister.

"Chief, don't!" Allen orders her.

"Stop," the silver-haired boy orders him calmly.

"But the chief is..."

"Let her go," chaos continues, "she needs to be with her daughter."

My lover then stops before my sister's form, her fingers weakly balling in and out of fists. I can hear her breathing hard and from the edge of my eye I can see her eyes shutting tightly. Her knees begin to bend and her arms begin to wrap around my sister's head, bringing it close to her heart. Miang does nothing as my lover, our mother, places her fingers around her chin, tilting her face upward so that her eyes meet with hers. Shion then brings her face toward Miang's, pressing her lips against her forehead for a mere second before cradling her once more. A small breath escapes our mother's lips at that moment, followed by a snivel of her nose.

"Miang, I'm sorry," Shion apologizes, "I'm so very sorry, Miang. I never should have neglected you," she continues to cry, "I should have spent time with you back then, if maybe I had done that, then maybe...," her voice begins to break.

"Mother..." my sister barely calls.

"All you ever knew was the pain of loneliness, and I'm sorry for that, Miang," Shion apologizes once more. "You are not unloved, Miang, because I care for you. I care about you, Miang, I just wish that..."

"How can you still care about me after all I've done to you and my sister?" Miang asks as she buries her face further into Shion's heart. "Can you still love me after I tried to kill you and your friends? Can you still love me after I violated my sister? How can you still love someone such as myself? How Mother, how can you love someone who can't even love herself?!"

"I can because you are my daughter," she answers cooly, "nothing can ever change that, Miang."

"Mother..., so someone does care," she cries.

More whimpers and sniffles follow my sister's tears, her fingers taking hold of Shion's jacket, lightly twisting the material. Shion continues to sit there with Miang in her arms, her fingers slowly running through her dull blue strands. In times such as this, I would normally feel jealous, but right now, I am feeling the opposite. Happiness, that is what I'm feeling now, happy because my sister is now loved as I am.

"Mother, thank you for loving me," Miang barely speaks, "up until now, I had always been living under the conclusion that no one has ever cared about me. I always saw how happy Kevin was when he spoke about you, how happy Elly was when she was with you, I just wanted to smile knowing that someone cares. Now I think I can smile, however..."

At that moment, Miang's arms suddenly push forward, her palms pressing against Shion for a mere second before causing her to stagger back. The smile on my lips quickly melts at that moment and again I know something is wrong. I arch my back forward, my fingers twitching before the blaster at my side. The others run before me, readying themselves as well. Jin once again draws his katana, Jr. his twin pistols, MOMO with her rod, and Ziggy and chaos with their fists. Shion begins to back toward my side, an expression of shock on her face. My sister begins to stagger to her feet once more as a rush of cold air suddenly blasts in the area.

"Regardless of how anyone feels about me, it still doesn't erase the fact that she is the one who can experience the real world," Miang finishes. "I still intend to become one with her, and to do that, I will destroy her consciousness and her soul. By doing so, I will be able to control her body permanently. But don't get me wrong, I'm doing this for her sake as well, so that she will no longer have to bear the frailty of human emotions."

"That's nothing more than murder!" the silver-haired boy yells as the winds pick up speed. "All you wish is to sacrifice your sister's self for your own selfish needs!"

"That's right," MOMO joins in, "have you even considered your own sister's feelings?! I too had sisters, all of them envious of me because they said Daddy had chosen me over them. Despite that, they never tried to do anything to harm me, they knew that when they died that their hopes and dreams would become a part of me. But all you wish is to do is erase KOS-MOS's existence and replace it with your own!"

"If you truly can smile, then why do you need to destroy your sister?" Jin joins in. "If being loved is all you wanted, you have obtained it, so stop this nonsense of having to destroy your sister!"

"I also know the importance of being loved," the Durandal's captain begins to speak, "a long time ago, I was loved by another, but I didn't know how to express my feelings toward that person. Instead my feelings were wandering elsewhere, to another who I considered more fortunate than me. I didn't know what I had until it was too late, and so now I regret the decision I made. Stop this now before you also regret the decision you make today!"

"Right, reconsider what you're doing otherwise you'll regret it for the rest of eternity, because I...," the cyborg tries to speak.

"Enough!" my sister screams, silencing all of our voices. "Say what you wish, but I can no longer bear to be alone anymore, I cannot bear to exist in a world where no one's eyes may linger, and I will do anything, kill anyone, who will prevent me from doing so!"

The winds grow stronger now, the gusts nearly pushing all of us back. I can feel my feet nearly being lifted off the ground and my body being forced back, but regardless, I try to keep my composure by pressing forward. A violet glow begins to emit from my sister's body now, the light slowly melding into the air. My fingers finally take hold of my gun at this moment, but by the time I free it from its holster, the gusts begin to cut at my fingers, pushing my weapon away from my hand.

"This is my world," Miang continues, "I rule everything within this encephalon."

"This world is not yours alone," another voice speaks through my mouth.

"Elly?" Shion says puzzled.

"The parasite finally makes her appearance," Miang seethes.

"Nephilim?" chaos recognizes the voice that speaks from my mouth.

"Though you have been locked within her body for these last two years, this world is ours as well," the voice continues.

My body begins to burn after her speech, an orange glow illuminating from my entire self. My entire vision is clouded with the bright hue, but I can still see my sister's pale glow of violet before me. The cold winds begin to die at this moment as a large flash of white engulfs the area. In a second the color of white is erased from our eyes, and once again I find my sister still standing before me.

"Now's our chance!" the Durandal's captain yells.

Several pieces of steel begin to fly toward my sister after his order, but each of them stop a few feet before her, falling to the floor as if they had hit some sort of surface. Miang then takes a moment to look at the fallen bullets, shaking her head as if the attack were useless. Her right arm slowly rises upward afterward, each of the rounds rising into the air with the motion of her fingers. In a quick swing of her arm going downward, the rounds fire forward, each of them aimed at my comrades. Through the back of my eye, I see each of them preparing for impact, except for Allen who tries to flee. My own arm begins to move on its own accord now, my palm open and pointed at the projectiles. I can feel the pressure of the shards coming closer and closer, but for some reason the pressure lessens as the bullets come closer. Suddenly the pressure is gone and I find that the bullets have come to a halt before they could veer past me. I shut my own eyes after and each of the rounds burst into flames, the remains of the shells melting into the floor. The moment I open my eyes again, I find my body back in my control, no longer under the influence of Nephilim's will. At this moment I begin to realize something, I realize how Miang and myself were able to manipulate the bullets and how my sister was able to manipulate this environment up until this point. If this is my encephalon, than I should also be able to manipulate it according to my own will.

"Elly, what did you...?" Shion tries to ask.

Without saying a word to either my sister or comrades, my feet begin to push me forward. Miang lowers her arm at this moment, bringing it back to her side with her fingers free from her palm. I can feel my teeth begin to scratch against each other, grinding as if her flesh were between the pearl-colored devices. I continue to look forward without looking back, each step I take enlarging the view of my sister's form. Not once do my eyes linger elsewhere, my pupils constantly locked on the eyes behind her goggles. I feel my heart beginning to strike against my chest, each beat slow but strong, synchronizes with each drop of sweat that falls from my brow. She grows a lot closer now, but she still hasn't taken a step toward me. She is nearly within arm's reach now and my fingers ball into fists for a mere second, my nails nearly puncturing through my gloves as they do so. Finally I see the reflection of my own cerulean pupils from her goggles, how cold and narrow they are at this moment.

"We both can manipulate this world any we wish," I tell my sister, "your tricks will have no effect on me. Neither of us has the advantage over the other."

"Or so you think," Miang responds, "without being able to manipulate the encephalon to the other's advantage, our abilities are limited to what they would be in the real world. The last time I checked you couldn't activate any of your weapons or even turn on your sensors. Your level of strength isn't any greater than that of an average eighteen year old woman's either, nor is your stamina and other physical abilities. I on the other hand have all of what you have lost, I was exactly on the same level you once were when I was activated."

She's right about our level of abilities, she easily excels past me in terms of strength, stamina, and agility. In terms of ether though, we should be equal since we both inherited the infinite ether ability from our fusion with Nephilim.

"It wouldn't be fair for me to kill you like this, I'll at least allow you to have this," my sister holds out her left hand before me.

A stream of electricity begins to form within her palm, forming in the form of a pole with a curve on one end. The sparks begin to die and the lightning begins to solidify, turning into a metallic shaft and blade.

"F-SCYTHE?" I recognize the weapon.

I take the weapon into my hands at this moment, my fingers wrapping around the base and close to the blade. I do forget one thing however, my strength is not the same as it used to be as the bladed side quickly falls to the floor, it's point nearly poking into my foot. I try to lift it once more but I can't get the blade further past my ankle. A loud bang fills the area in this moment, the blade of my weapon breaking off as a piece of shrapnel meets with its base. I look toward the source of the noise afterward to find Miang's right arm outstretched and the R-CANNON attached to her limb, the barrel still smoking.

"You should be able to lift it now," Miang tells me.

"Stop it!" Shion orders, her form trying to fill the gap between us. "Miang, there's no reason to fight your sister, I'm sure I can free you from Elly's encephalon and give you your own body, so just..."

"I can't live like that, Mother," Miang interrupts, "I can't live in a world where she exists as well. My sister and corrupted half, her death will at the very least cleanse the part of me that was separated two years ago. Dirty, that's what I feel, so dirty after realizing what that child did to us. I wanted you to feel the same way, Elly, that's why I violated you, but maybe it wasn't enough as you still pursue to become human, you still cling so dearly to your flesh and emotions. If you cannot understand the pain of being human, then it is best that I put you out of your misery!"

Another shell is fired from her cannon after, the round veering toward me. My feet push my body toward the side to avoid the attack, the blast striking nothing but ground as a result. My knee is the first to meet with the ground as I try to recollect my composure as Jr. and MOMO rush in front of me with their weapons ready.

"Moonlit Serenade!"

"Angel Arrow!"

Several rays of light escape their weapons, their aim perfect as each blast meets with my sister's body. Each column manages to knock Miang a step or two backward as well as creating a cloud of gray to emerge from her wounds. The clouds begin to collect amongst themselves until the area begins filled with the smoke. Silence follows the following seconds as the clouds clear, my sister nowhere to be found. For some reason I know where she is now, but before I or my comrades could do anything about it, I find my hair being pulled backward and my legs dangling from the floor.

"Elly!" Shion screams.

"Such a familiar position this is," my sister breathes down my neck as she points the R-BLADE at my trachea. 

"Miang, Elly, please stop this!" Shion tries to beg.

"How does it feel, my sister," Miang asks, her lips slowly trailing down my skin, "how does it feel to know fear, to know sadness, to know that death is only an inch away? How does it feel to be bound to flesh and blood? Would you rather be wish to be bound to technology once more?"

"No!" I answer my sister's question at the top of my lungs.

A force begins to push from inside my upper back, its muscles beginning to tingle and the nerves beginning to tear. My eyes can't help but shut tightly as the pain intensifies, and the point of her weapon begins to free from its grip on my throat. I feel as if my upper back is about to burst and I know something is wrong as this pain now begins to push my captor back. I open my eyes through a slit in my eyelids, finding the others slowly backing away from myself. The next thing I know, I feel something rushing out of my back, ripping out of my skin and unfolding as it meets the air.

"Wings?" Shion notices what has emerged. "Just like that time when she saved the Elsa."

"Uh...," I find my knees dropping to the floor as I try to regain the breath I had lost from the pain.

"...I see," I look behind me to find my sister returning to her feet, "your fusion with the girl is greater than I thought, in that case..."

Her arms begin to clutch her sides at this moment, her fingernails practically digging into her ribs. Miang then begins hunch forward, her entire figure starting to glow dark purple. Her fingers begin to tear at the artificial skin around her sides, her face showing an expression of a great deal of pain. The ground begins to shake now, my comrades rushing beside me once more as the tremors worsen. A black line suddenly appears across my sister's goggles, another crack appearing in the next second, and another follows soon after. An entire web of cracks soon forms all of Miang's goggles now, chips of the metallic device now starting to fall to the floor. 

"Let's go!" the cyborg orders everyone else while my sister remains vulnerable.

"Ziggy, wait!" Shion tries to order the cyborg.

I know this is exactly what Miang wants, she wants us to attack her right now. The moment she is struck with anything, she'll quickly counter with some form of ether. Unfortunately Shion is unable to stop the cyborg's attack as sparks of lightning escape his fist and crash onto my sister in a single punch. Nothing happens though, but the question is why? Miang continues to stand there, her body unmoved by Ziggy's attack but the shaking still worsening.

"Shion!" Jin calls to his sister.

"Jin, I...I can't," my lover responds after a moment of hesitation.

"Shion, I know how you must feel at the moment, but..."

"I can't do it, Jin, I can't kill...," her voice begins to break once more.

"...fine."

Jin now takes his turn to attack Miang but this time I do nothing to try and stop him, instead I try and join the fray as I take the remains of my scythe into my hands. Miang's form grows closer and closer now with every second and breath, yet my vision of the back of Shion's brother does not change as neither of us change our pace.

"Festive Wind!" Jin chants with a quick draw of his blade.

I then take the chance to deal the second blow, swinging the remains of the scythe like a staff and striking Miang's skull. For a mere second our enemy's body bends backward, but she quickly stands back up with her arms swinging forward with waves of ether following the movement of her arms. The force of the waves strikes each of us in the abdomen, sending each of us to the floor in an instant. I lift my head off the ground after to find my sister's body now pressed flat against the floor, only to push upward to launch her form toward me. I quickly take hold of my weapon once more and lift it upward with both hands, both ends of the pole pointed in different directions. The weight of her body slowly begins to crush me, my arms sinking lower and lower to my neck as I try to fight her off.

"Miang, please!" my lover wraps her arms around my sister's shoulders, trying so desperately to pull her away.

Shion's words are not able to reach Miang and her efforts to pry her away have no avail. For a mere second, Miang stops pushing her arms toward me and instead swings her left one around to swat our mother off her back. The strike knocks her several feet away, and once that's done, Miang resumes trying to strangle me. Closer and closer her hands come toward my face, her nails desperately trying to claw at my face. I try to jam my knee into her stomach, but it does nothing but ache the moment it strikes against her abdomen. Realizing that my attacks are doing nothing, I decide to release my hold on my weapon and force my weight in one direction, rolling myself away in a quick second. Before my weapon could touch the floor however, I quickly take it back into my hands and swing it upward toward my sister's temple, breaking more shards off her goggles and knocking her back onto the ground.

"KOS-MOS, move!" Jr. orders me and I quickly obey. "Mystic Noc...!" 

"Miang!"

Before he could take another shot from his energy gun, Shion suddenly pushes the boy's arm away to try and divert the fire. Unfortunately it has little effect as the beam still fires toward her, only at a lower angle. Just like the bullets, the blast is stopped by an invisible barrier, but the shot does not return to its shooter. My sister is able to recover her balance after blocking the attack, only to quickly return to the floor with her limbs once again pressed flat against it. Again she begins to stalk us like a wild leopard, her teeth bared and her crimson pupils apparent through the cracks in her goggles. Energy from bullets and ether begin to fire at her now, my comrades and I trying to throw everything we at her keeping as much distance as possible. A few of these beams manages to find its mark, but they do nothing but cause her to stagger back a step or two. Her pacing begins to increase now, and it only seems to grow faster and faster with every inch she crawls. She is almost within arm's reach now of me, so I try to jump into the air using my wings to help elevate myself. My sister does jump after me, more of her metallic parts begin to chip away and fall to the floor as more of the hail of energy strikes at her body. Gravity doesn't seem to pull her down as she only grows closer and closer as metallic prongs suddenly emerge from her upper back, as well as some sort of propulsion device. Her hands once again find my neck and thin sheets of metal begin to fill the space between each prong, creating the vision of a metallic-batwing.

"Elly!" I hear my lover scream from below.

"I'll get her!" Jr. tries to aim his gun once more.

"No, don't!" the silver-haired boy stops him. "You might hit KOS-MOS."

"Damn!"

"Elly, hold on!"

"Bound to the flesh, bound to technology, we are opposites, are we not, Elly?" my sister asks, her fingers tightening their hold. "Heaven and Hell, Life and Death, Organic and Inorganic, all are different sides of the same coin, one cannot exist without the other. Are we the same, we were once of the same coin? If I were to kill you, does that mean I would no longer exist? No, of course not!" her hold begins to tighten once more.

"Ah!" I barely manage to choke.

"If you were able to exist without me for so long, then why shouldn't I be able to exist without you?" her lips begin to curl. "You know Elly, I really did mean it when I apologized after having my way with you, I really was sorry what I did to you. Do you know why I apologized, Elly?" she asks, bringing her lips toward mine. "I did it because I pitied you over the fact that you were never able to make the choice I was given," she barely breathes onto my lips.

"Re...regardless of whether or not if I would have been given that choice," I speak with my remaining breath, "I would have preferred to have known pain and loneliness so that I may experience what it was like to love and be loved!"

At this point I realize the pointed end of my scythe is facing the direction of my sister. This was probably my only opportunity to strike, so using the rest of my strength, I push all my strength into my arm so that the point may pierce through my sister.

"Ugh!" Miang's mouth pries away from my own the moment the point comes to a stop within her abdomen.

Her grip begins to loosen now and her fingers slowly begin to drag away from my throat. More strength returns to my body now and I push the pole further, causing her to arch forward. I look into my sister's face now, and for once again she wears an expression that has been hidden from me until now; pain. Her mouth begins to shut, her teeth beginning to sit atop one another now, biting on the lower teeth so hard that it looks like they are about to break. I see her eyes shutting in the same manner through the cracks in her goggles, watching as the lines of her muscles become very apparent for the first time. I jab my weapon deeper into her stomach, her mouth opening once again and her scarlet pupils growing as wide as saucers. Her entire body begins to shiver, her arms slowly reaching for the device that is stabbing her.

"Elly, please stop," I look below my feet to find our mother crying, "you've both had enough..."

"Shion...?"

"Please, just stop it, both of you...," she begs, her palms burying further into her face.

I look into my sister's eyes once again to find her barely able to keep her chin up. She begins to struggle keeping her eyes on me as her head begins to droop and her arms begin to sag. The hold she has on my weapon is weak, weak enough so that even a baby can pull it away from her grasp. Her eyes look up at me once more and again I see the expression of pain painted on her face.

"El...ly...," she barely calls, her voice weak and broken.

My mouth begins to grow dry at this moment, my breath barely escaping my lips. The grip I have on my weapon slowly begins to loosen, but not enough to release it from my grasp. I can feel my jaw beginning to quiver and my eyes starting to melt. Sadness, is that what I'm feeling for Miang right now? I can try to deny it as much as I want, but I know the truth of the matter is that I am feeling pity for my sister. I'm crying, why am I crying? Why do I cry for the very same person who tried to kill me, who tried to replace my very existence? Is it because I know that I've gone too far, or is it because I could've been the one in her position if the circumstances were different.

"Miang..."

My fingers slowly begin to dwindle away from the hold of my weapon causing Miang's body to slowly sink to the floor. I release each of them bit by bit, slowly letting gravity take its course. The weight held in my arms begins to grow heavier, the pole now barely within my grasp. I look into her eyes once more through the cracks in her goggles, noticing that the way I release her is bringing her too much pain. I feel a lump in my throat now as more tears begin to melt from my eyes. I can feel her pain somehow, somewhere on my body.

"...I'm sorry," I say closing my eyes.

In the blink of an eye, her entire body plummets toward the ground and out of my grasp. The tears fall rapidly down my cheeks now, my eyes trying to shut the streams as best as they can as I keep my vision in the color of black. A loud clang echos throughout the area the moment her back touches the floor, causing the dam holding the streams to break at this instant. I slowly return to the ground as well at this moment, my comrades rushing toward me once more with looks of relief on their faces. All of them wear smiles as they try to congratulate me, all of them but myself and two others wear these masks of happiness. The words and praise my comrades give me are deaf to me as my vision is locked on the remains of my sister. With every second that I stare at her corpse my eyes fill even more with water and nose more congested.

"Elly...," my attention then turns to my lover who wears the same expression as myself on her face.

"Miang...," we both look to my fallen sister.

"All she wanted was to love and be loved," chaos begins to speak, his voice as serious as ever, "but even after attaining those things, she had been swept up in her pain and loneliness for so long that she must have forgotten what she truly wanted. Pain was the only thing she could vividly feel, as well as hatred, jealousy, and sadness. She wanted to feel pleasure, happiness, and above all else, love, but unfortunately when she did begin to feel those things, she had cast aside what she had longed for for so long. It truly is sad, is it not?"

"...no," her voice begins to call in my ears once more, "I'm not done yet..."

"...Miang?"

My sister begins to stagger to her feet once more, sparks of electricity and wires now hanging from newly opened craters on her body. Her legs are slightly bent as she stands, several wires hanging down her knees and ankles and black gashes running down random spots on her limbs. Her left arm has been broken off from the bicep, more wires hang down the remaining part with bolts and other pieces falling from the gap. Her right arm twitches with every spark that escapes her joints, a majority of her right glove ripped off from the fall. Tiny threads barely keep her breasts covered now, they look as if they're ready to break at any moment. The corset that covers the rest of her body is now nothing but a rag, holes have been cut up nearly everywhere and the pole I had impaled her with still lies impaled in her stomach. Only one half of her goggles remain, I can see her left pupil clearly for the first time, but it wears an expression as blank as her face.

"My existence...will not be futile," she speaks, her voice breaking every second. "I shall...I shall destroy..."

Her remaining arm begins to rise once more, her fingers pointing forward and her palm pointed toward the floor. Her hand begins to illuminate in a dark lavender shade at this moment, the entire earth beginning to shiver once more. Everyone begins to lose their balance again, the children and Allen hitting the floor in the process. I turn to my side to find my lover barely able to stand, so I take her into my arms and bring her body close to mine.

"Miang, please...," she implores in barely a whisper, "please stop this..."

I feel an object tap my ankle afterward, and it begins to continue to barely strike at my heels as the rumbling continues. I turn to the source to find my blaster at my feet. I manage to free one arm away from Shion and then reach over for the gun at my feet. I bring the side of the barrel to face my eyes and notice the reflection of my pupils on the metallic surface. I then glance back at my sister who continues to charge the violet torch before her hand. The inferno looks almost charged, I probably only have one shot to stop her.

"Dammit!" I hear the Durandal's captain swear.

I turn behind me to find the child cursing while pulling the trigger of his twin pistols. No bullets escape the barrel, it's obvious he's out of ammo. His energy pistol is several feet away from him on the ground and continues to move further as the tremors continue. I decide to take aim at Miang now with my free hand, but I am unable to keep my aim steady. If I'm going to shoot at Miang, I'll need both hands to hold my blaster properly. I release Shion from my care at this moment, forcing her into the direction of her brother who catches her.

"Jin, watch her," I order him.

"Elly, what do you plan to do?" Shion asks, but I respond with silence. "Elly stop! Elly!"

I take a few more steps forward and try to get a hold of the ground. I place both hands on the grip of my blaster now, my right holding the side of the weapon while the left cups the bottom. The fire in Miang's palm begins to take a circular shape as more and more sparks escape her body. I then place my gun before me now, the barrel pointed forward and my eyes beginning to look down its center. My finger begins to take hold of the trigger, but something is preventing me from actually pulling it.

"This scene...," I begin to realize, "so familiar..."

The one before my vision suddenly changes shape, as does the scenery before me. Now I find myself before the receiving end of the barrel and the one holding the blaster now is no longer myself, but another face, one I would never point such a thing at.

'Shion?'

The evening breeze transforms into whirlwinds of gusts that begin to sweep us in the winds' direction and I find the ground before my feet beginning to slide away from me. My hair begins to brush against my cheeks now and my body begins to move on its own accord. My right arm stops before my face, my palm pointed directly in the face of my lover. A sphere of energy begins to collect within my open hand now, the globe growing larger with every second that passes.

'I will kill you...,' my body thinks to itself, 'I must...'

Before my body's thoughts can finish, a loud bang begins to fill the area and I find a shimmer of metal before my vision. For some reason I feel my body beginning to burn, as if my entire being is set on fire. The burning grows intense and before I know it, I find my vision now drifting toward the back of my body. No, this isn't my body, it's...

Another bang fills the area and now I find myself once again in my previous location. I find my body falling toward the floor now, my hip being the first part of me that meets the ground. The weapon in my hand crashes to the floor the moment the rest of my body strikes the ground, and I find my vision now pointed toward the sky.

'What was that just now?' I ask myself.

What I just saw, I remember now, it was the last moment when we were one, when we confronted Shion after being awakened and killing Kevin. That's right, that was the moment when we were divided into our separate selves. Nephilim had escaped our body at the last moment, she tried to save us as well, but she was only to save one half of us, and that half was me. That was when Miang's hatred for me really began, she must have felt like Nephilim had abandoned her when she escaped our body.

A final crash enters my ears now, causing more tears to fall. I leave my eyes open now, my entire body feels paralyzed. I feel my lips beginning to quiver and my entire body trembling, I feel so...sad. I then realize what I had just done, I had killed my own sister by my own hands, the same sister who raped me, who tried to replace me, who was once part of me. Yes, that's why I cry for her, because she was once a part of me.

"El..ly," my sister calls in the present.

Strength returns to my body now, but I am unable to lift myself back to my feet. My arms begin to pull against the ground now, pulling me toward my sister as the rest of my body drags. Shion and the others have already found their place beside Miang with Shion sitting beside her daughter and everyone else circling them. I eventually find myself before my sister's face, her expression once again wearing the mask of sadness. Tears course down her cheeks leaving trails of white as they cleanse the ash and grime from her face. I take the back of her skull into the crook of my arm now and run my hand down one half of her face. I brush away the strands of hair before her eyes and the shattered pieces of metal that cover the rest of her face. I see her eyes without a veil for once, and they are a different shade from when I saw them before. Blue, a beautiful sky blue they are, a color that can easily paint the ocean.

"The damage is too great, you cannot save me," she speaks.

I look unto her body now and find that it is true. The shot I had fired and connected with the top of her left breast, leaving a giant crater filled with a crimson red substance with liquid of the same color oozing out. Sparks of electricity no longer escape the broken parts of her body, nor do any wires and other mechanical parts hang from them. Puddles of scarlet now rest where her limbs and body lie, the liquid flowing like water. The puddles are slowly becoming lakes and I acknowledge what she said was true, Miang is going to die.

"All I truly did want was to be loved," my sister continues. "When Kevin had refused us back then, I concluded that no one could love us, no one could love us because we were machines. No matter how emotional we got, no matter how much human we became, our roots would always be bound to technology. I never knew what it was liked to be loved though, so I acted maliciously to everyone. When I found out that I was loved, I didn't know how to act so I...," her voice begins to break. "Violence was the way I really knew how to express myself, I acted as such because I let my jealousy for you blind my true intentions. To love and be loved, that was my goal. Lying here, I finally realize how I should have acted, how I should've been to achieve such things. However, because I was blind to this, Nephilim had you all return here, to show me the truth through my own death. Elly, I lied again when I told you the reason why I apologized, the reason why I did it was because I think I was apologizing to myself, apologizing for turning out the way I did. It's too late for me to apologize to myself though, I know what I did was inexcusable, and I will pay for it with my life. Even though I cannot forgive myself, I ask all of you, Elly, Mother, and everyone, will you forgive me for what I have done to all of you?"

"Miang..."

"I forgive you," MOMO speaks. "I know if I was in the same situation, I would've also been blinded by jealousy, enough so that I might forget what I truly wanted."

"I forgive you," Jr. says next, "I was...in a similar situation myself, so I understand how you feel."

"I forgive you," Jin follows, "I'm sure that all of us have been in situations where we let jealousy blind us from what we truly want."

"I forgive you," chaos goes next, "all of us forget what we truly want in some point in our life, and many of us often forget so much that we would act in ways that push us further away from our goals."

"I forgive you," Ziggy says.

"I forgive you," Allen adds.

"I forgive you, Miang, my daughter," Shion says, bringing her lips to her forehead for a moment, "I'll always forgive you."

"And I forgive you, Miang," I finally tell her.

"Thank you...," her eyes shut once more. "Before I leave for the next life, I have one last favor to ask of you, Elly."

"What is it?" I ask.

"Love me...," she answers, "please, I beg of you, tell me that you love me."

"Miang, I..."

How do I truly feel about Miang? Can I love such a creature who has committed such vile acts in her short lifetime? I could simply lie, but if I did, I know that I would be hurting a part of myself if I did. Yet she was the one who sacrificed when we were one being, if things had turned out differently, I would be the one on the floor right now asking for forgiveness. I pity her because of this, I pity because...because I care.

"I love you, Miang," I finally say after a moment of thinking.

"And I love you, Elly...," her words escape in barely a whisper.

Before she could finish her words, I decide to wrap my arms around her skull and bring her face unto mine, brushing away her tears with my own. I don't want to hear the reason for existence, I don't want to hear about the pain behind mine. I feel her remaining arm slowly climb onto my back, stopping at the shoulder so that she may pull my body close to hers. Warm, her body is so warm.

"I...I think I finally found out the purpose for my existence," her words as quiet as ever, "I existed to..."

Slowly her body begins to freeze and her body growing heavy. I can feel the weight of her breath beating against my neck, each exhale of air slower than the last. The flow of her tears begins to die, the moisture drying from her face. Her arm now drops from my shoulder and her entire body begins to press against me, her entire being motionless.

"Miang...?" I call her name. "Miang?" I begin to raise my voice.

I look onto her face now to find her eyes shut and her lips curled. Frozen, her entire body is frozen and refuses to move. I shake her body lightly to try and wake her, but her eyes refuse to open.

"Miang?!" I raise my voice again.

I turn to the faces of the others to find tears traveling down a majority of their faces. Frantically I turn back to the visage of my sister to find it still frozen in the same smile. I call her name once more and shake her more violently and again I get no reaction. I call her name over and over again, her name growing louder with each cry. My arms grow numb at this point and now all I can do is wrap my arms around my sister once more and have her body lean against mine. Sniffles and whimpers begin to escape my lips now, all of them muffled by my sister's skin. I continue to cry her name over and over again waiting for a reaction, any kind of reaction. A hand then falls upon my shoulder, but I know it isn't hers.

"Elly," my lover speaks with her voice nearly broken, "I'm...I'm afraid your sister is..."

"MIANG!!!!!!!"

I find myself once again outside the Uzuki Residence with my comrades beside me. The sky is still filled with stars and the moon, and the evening breeze is as cool as ever. The scenery is the same just as it was when we left. I look into my arms once more and find nothing within their grasp. The body of my sister, where has it gone?! My hands then pull toward my chest and I embrace the empty space which once held Miang's body. My eyes continue to melt with tears as my throat becomes dry. My entire body is trembling, my limbs have gone limp. The arms of our mother wrap around me now and I find myself falling forward and a hand brushing at the rivers that crawl down my face.

"There you all are," Captain Matthews' voice enters the vicinity, "when we came back from town, all of you disappeared. Huh, what the, what's wrong with all of you?"

"Miang...," I call my sister's name once more.

Author's Note: Well that's it, Miang is dead. Did she deserve to die? Yeah, I suppose after all she's done to make Elly's life hell. Let's not forget though that her true goal wasn't to kill her sister though, it was to love and be loved, she lost sight of this because of her jealousy for Elly. So I suppose she deserves a sliver of your pity if you haven't given her any. As for the purple and orange flames Elly and Miang used when they used their infinite ether ability, I'm sure all the Xenogears fans recognize this as the hair colors of Elly and Miang. Xenogears fans may also recall that Elly did possess infinite ether abilities if you read those profile things in Solaris of all the characters, I conclude that Miang also has this ability because she and Elly were originally one being. This chapter was the hardest one for me to write thus far, I tried my best to explain Miang and Elly's link, as well as explain Miang's tragic past. One more thing, about Miang's serial number in the beginning, she was the prototype so of course her serial number, 00-00-00-00-0, would be different from Elly's who was the test type, 00-00-00-00-1 (but Elly's of course refers to after she separated from Miang). Well I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I did because it was a real challenge for me to write. If you do plan on reviewing, no flames as usual. One more chapter left which basically wraps up everything, and just like in "Warm," I leave a small preview for "Bound"'s sequel, "Mother," at the end of the chapter. Well that's it for now, later people!


	8. Dreams of a Doll

Disclaimer: You all know I don't own Xenosaga and the song "Close to You," but now I also have to add that I don't own the song "My Immortal," that's owned by Evanescence, so none of you guys with the suits sue, okay?

Author's Note: This is the final chapter for "Bound," I hope you've all enjoyed this fic, but unfortunately all good things must come to an end. The story isn't totally over yet though, there will be a sequel to this fic titled "Mother." Unfortunately shoujoai.com has currently stopped updating their fan fics, so if you readers want the lemon part of this chapter (it will be sent in a .txt file just to let you know, you're gonna have to either IM me for it, contact me via e-mail, or request it in your review (make sure you leave your e-mail address in your review though so I know how to send it to you). Just check my author profile for my SN on AIM, for e-mail, contact me at lgamarkyahoo.com. Well with that said, let's see how this tale comes to an end.

Chapter 8: Dreams of a Doll

Everyone is silent, not a single word escapes any who site around the room. The floor seems to have gotten everyone's attention, our eyes all glued to the growing lakes of tears that we had cast upon the ground.

'Did I really do the right thing?' I ask myself.

Again and again I replay the scene over in my head. I remember the weight the gun had on my hand, how I aimed it so perfectly at her heart. I remember squeezing the trigger, barely a tug that unleashed an onslaught upon my sister. The blast itself brought me to the ground, my hip striking against the floor and making my body spring up an inch before sending me back down. My weapon had slipped from my grasp the moment I hit the ground, but I could still feel its warmth in my palms. What I remembered the most was the lump in my throat, the splitting of my heart, and the streams crawling down my face. I had killed my sister, my other half, with my own hands. Surely she did deserve it after all those things she did to Shion, the others, and myself, but when I look at the cause behind her actions, I can't help but think that I did deny her the ability to love and be loved. Maybe if I hadn't pulled the trigger, maybe if I had tried to talk with her some more, I may have been able to save her life without having fired a single shot.

"Come on everyone, turn that frown upside down," Tony's voice suddenly interrupts my thoughts. "This isn't like all of you to just stare at the ground and feel sorry for yourselves."

"'Turn that frown upside down,' who says that anymore?" Hammer grumbles beneath his breath.

"We got the jukebox fixed when we went into town, maybe some music'll cheer you all up a bit," Tony continues.

In the click of a button, the melody of a symphony escapes the speakers of the device. The sound of strings, wind, and drums takes over the sound of silence in the room, releasing me from my thoughts of my sister for a moment. The overall tone is rather soothing yet upbeat, freeing everyone from their depression for the time being. Well, almost everyone.

I look beside me to find my lover still entrapped in her sadness for Miang. I can't blame her for this, after all it is the second time she had to see her first child die. Child, can we even be considered her children? Bound to the flesh, and bound to technology, that is what Miang said about us, that no matter how human we became, our origins would always be bound to technology. But that shouldn't matter, what matters is not where our origins are from, but where we are today. Someone told us that once, but who? Of course, it was him, it was always him back then.

"Shion?" I call her below the melody of the nickelodeon.

She does nothing to respond to me, she simply continues to stare at the ground before her ankles and sobs. Her fingers take hold of the edges of her skirt, her arms tugging at the material tightly and her nails practically ready to pierce through it.

"Miang...," she says my sister's name once more in barely a whisper.

My mind draws a blank as I try to think of words for consolation. At first words such as "sorry" or "forgive me" come to mind, but I can come up with nothing to follow those words. I begin to curse at myself for not being able to think of anything, and once more I find my thoughts returning to Miang's death. The tears begin to crawl down my cheeks again, but there is something else that I'm feeling right now. My fingers ball into fists, tightening as hard as I can make them, my nails practically impaling through the material in my gloves and into my palms. My teeth begin to push and slide against each other, as if they were grinding my own bones. A lump once again sets itself in my throat and I find my eyes narrowing. I feel like I want to scream, to yell at myself for what I had done, to hurt myself for the murder of my sister and bringing sadness unto Shion once more. That feeling begins to slip though as I find her arms wrapping around my body and her head resting upon my shoulder.

"Shion?" I look into the closed eyes of my lover.

"Please, don't say anything, Elly," she tells me.

My left arm then wraps around her shoulder, my palm stroking away the strands that lay upon it. My fingers then find their way to her delicate neck, scrolling up and down its outline as slowly and softly as possible. I feel the warmth of her tears falling on my lap, and I do nothing to wipe them away. These tears, she has every right to shed them, I have no right to stop her from crying. She needs these tears to ease the pain, just as I need her to help go through mine.

"Shion, Miss KOS-MOS?" I look up to find Jin with a tray of tea standing before us.

"Thank you, Jin," Shion says as she takes a cup into her hands.

I take a cup of my own and take a sip of the piping hot liquid. The bitter taste begins to calm my nerves, helping me begin to relax once more. I place the drink on the table in front of us and return my attention to Shion, who still sits there sulking with her cup of tea still in her hands. She does not take a sip of the steaming green liquid, instead she continues to stare at the bottom of the cup as her tears mix with the tea.

"I'm sorry, Shion," Jin apologizes as he takes a seat beside his sister.

"This was the second time...," Shion begins to speak, "the second time I had to see her die. The first time, it was me who killed her, I shot her with my own hands. Now it was Elly's turn to kill her, my other daughter and her sister. When I created both of them, I knew that their lives would always be surrounded by bloodshed, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever see myself killing any of them or having them kill each other. I never," a crack begins to appear in her voice, "...never wanted any of them to ever be involved in killing, even if they were created for that purpose. Do you remember the dolls our father gave me, Jin? The ones named Miang and Elly? The tale of those two dolls had been reborn in my daughters, the one who I neglected and the one I showed my affection too. That's what this was all about, negligence and affection. It was my fault why things ended up like this, it's all my fault why Miang is dead!"

"Shion, it isn't entirely your fault," I assure her, "it is true that you had neglected her for so long, but it's also because of you that she was created. You had given her a chance at life, one that she spent so recklessly. Miang could have tried to...overlook past her loneliness and only focus on the feelings she had for Kevin. She could have learned to accept her fate after the two of us were split, but...," my mind begins to draw a blank once more. "Miang's death is not entirely your fault," I try to speak again, "I was the one she contacted when she became conscious once more, and I did nothing to help her or to get to know her until she died. It was me who pulled the trigger when she died, so Shion, if anyone is at fault for Miang's death, it's me. We both killed my sister, Shion, it's a fact that both of us will have to accept."

"Her death may sadden you at first, Shion," Jin begins to speak, "but as time will pass, I'm sure her death will make you stronger, it will help you endure through the other challenges of life. Let her death be a foundation on where you can build your future, let her death allow you to find new happiness and..."

"So you're saying that I should celebrate Miang's death, Jin?!" Shion screams, her cup of tea falling onto the floor.

"No, I'm not saying that, I'm saying...," Jin tries to explain.

"What do you know, Jin?!" Shion continues, pushing herself out of her seat with her hands ready to strike at her brother's face. "What do you know about losing someone so close to you?! All you do is read your stupid books all day and act out those ancient rituals! How can someone like you understand?!"

"Shion, how could...?" he tries to ask.

"I don't want to hear it, Jin!" she yells again. "I... I..."

With that said, Shion quickly turns away and runs outside of the house, her eyes flooding with tears and loud sobs escaping her breath as she runs. Silence once again fills the room, everyone's eyes now focused on where my lover had ran. The words that Shion said, again I find myself saddened and angered at the same time. I am not angry at Jin, but rather at Shion. What she said isn't true, of course he knows about losing someone close to him.

"Wait here," I tell everyone, "I'll go talk to her."

I hurry outside to find the entire front lawn empty. The cold air of the evening breeze begins to take its toll on me. My skin begins to shiver and my breath becomes heavy. I begin to contemplate going back inside to stay warm, but I quickly brush away that thought when I remember that Shion had run out somewhere. I turn my attention to the woods and quickly hurry down its path. There's really only one place I can think of that Shion might run to at a time like this, a place I had shown her not too long ago.

I hurry down the forest path as fast as I can, making the first turn down the road so that I may head in the direction of where I had just gone earlier today. The ground grows grittier and grittier with each step that I take now, I know I'm almost there, I can practically see the moon's glow reflecting from a body of water. I now find myself staring into the ocean and my feet sinking into the sand below my feet, but Shion is nowhere to be found. I begin to pace down the shoreline toward the east, finding nothing but the never-ending sand dunes and ocean. I don't know how long I run for, but eventually I find something else coming into view, a small mountain of rocks and someone sitting at its peak.

"Shion," I realize who it is.

With the remaining strength in my legs, I push my feet harder into the uneven ground and hurry to where my lover sits. Climbing the rocks is rather simple compared to how fast I run, namely because the rocks are lined up like a staircase. Finally I find myself on the same level as Shion, but she does not realize I'm here, instead she looks straight into the ocean just as when I first laid eyes on her. Her eyes are left unblinking as she stares into the endless sea, her arms wrapped around her legs, and her breath slow and heavy. She is locked deep in her thoughts and I don't want to interrupt her, but I feel that if I don't do something, then she'll only bring herself deeper into depression.

"Shion?" I take the seat beside her.

"What does he know?" she asks, burying her face into her knees. "How can he preach about building a foundation on Miang's death?"

"Shion, Jin didn't mean..."

"How can someone like him, who does nothing but read books all day and resurrect a bunch of ancient rituals preach about losing someone dear to him when he hasn't experienced such a thing?!" she screams at the top of her lungs.

My heart jumps the moment I hear her finish those words, my eyes widening as open as they can and my entire body suddenly starting to boil. My arm then begins to move without a second thought, my palm opening as I swing it to the side. My hand begins to burn the moment it meets with Shion's cheek, the numbness disappearing within seconds but my frustration still remains.

"What do you mean someone like him hasn't experienced losing someone dear to him?!" I retort using all of the air in my lungs. "How can you say such a thing, Shion, how can you say something like that to your own brother?! Of course he knows how it feels to lose someone dear to him! Didn't you tell me how he consoled you shortly after your parents' death, how you weren't the only one who mourned for them? Of course he lost someone dear to him, and that someone was actually two people, your mother and your father! Don't you dare tell me that I'm wrong, Shion, you and I know that he wouldn't have cried for them otherwise!"

"Elly...," her eyes begin to water again, her hand rubbing the spot I had struck. "Thank you, I needed that."

"I'm sorry," I apologize, "maybe that wasn't the best way to get my point across."

"It's all right, really," Shion assures me.

I decide not to argue with her further and avert my attention toward the ocean. How serene the sea is right now, how the waves lightly crash against the shoreline and sink back into the depths they came. The sea, it can show us many faces at once, it can be calm and serene and at the same time, in another place yet same time, it can be very wild and violent. For some reason the ocean reminds me of her, of my sister.

"The stars are beautiful this evening, aren't they?" Shion changes the subject. "Don't you think it's beautiful to see their lights reflecting off the water's surface?"

I turn back to the ocean now, and I find such a sight to behold. The stars' light really does reflect off the ocean perfectly, as if the stars themselves were trapped within. The ocean seems to shimmer through the reflection of the stars' illumination, their shine can't help but bring a small smile to my face. This scene, it's so similar to the one Miang had with Kevin, sitting at a beach and admiring nature, yet at the same time, it reminds me of something else, it reminds me of an event that occurred in my own lifetime. Yes, it reminds me of when Shion and I watched the ocean for an entire day, in each other's arms, comforting each not with words, but touch.

My body can't help but sink now, everything just feels so light. I don't bother to sit back up right, I just let my body fall and have hers catch me. Again I find myself in a familiar place, my arms wrapped around her waist and my face nuzzling against her heart. Her arms wrap around my shoulders now causing another brush of warmth to flow up my body. My breath begins to grow short as her fingers begin to slide across my face and her lips meet with my forehead for a moment.

"Shion, may I ask you something?" I ask her.

"What?"

"Do you think Miang...was able to go into the afterlife?"

"Yes, I believe so," she answers without hesitation, "why?"

"Miang said that we would always be bound to technology, no matter how human we became," I recall, "our origins will always be bound to it. So I'm wondering if those born as machines are even able to go into the afterlife, if we even have souls to begin with."

"Elly, many religions suggest that all of us don't start out with a soul," Shion begins to answer, "that we have to earn it as we go through life. Spiritualists say that those without souls are nothing more than machines, and if both what the spiritualists and religions say are true, than all of us are born as machines. Miang had gone through a lot in her short life, she experienced anger, happiness, sadness, pain, and pleasure, and based on those few experiences, I'm sure she gained her own soul. I'm sure you saw it too when you last looked into her eyes, how all her mechanical parts all seemed to have disappeared and replaced with what seemed like organic ones, I'm sure she was no longer considered a machine when she died, that's why she must have died smiling. So to answer your question, Elly, I do believe that Miang has passed on to the afterlife."

"I see," I nod, "I'm relieved to hear that."

"Elly, did you really mean it when you told your sister that you loved her?" Shion asks.

"Yes," I answer, "of course I meant it. I know she had done many bad deeds in her lifetime, all of them which may have very well destroyed the lives of you, the others, and myself, but I knew where she was coming from. I knew the pain she had gone through in her lifetime, after all, I was also there to experience it. I truly did mean it when I apologized to her and when I told her that I loved her, I knew that if it had been me that was killed that day, I would be asking for the very same thing. I don't know why I cared for her, maybe it was because we both had gone through so much when we were one, so I suppose my love for her was a way of saying sorry that she was left to die instead of me," I find the tears once again crawling down my cheeks.

"Elly..."

"It was because of Miang's death that I was able to experience all of my memories with you and everyone else," I continue, "and it pains me to know that the foundation of my existence is based on my sister's death. But you know what Shion, I'm also thankful for that, not because I have any feelings of malice or hatred for her, but because her sacrifice also allows me to live my life to the fullest. I haven't realized it until recently, Shion, but I must live my life to the fullest otherwise Miang's sacrifice would have been wasted. Shion, I'm sure that's what Jin meant when he tried to speak with you, that you should now live your life for Miang, for your daughter and my sister."

"You're right, Elly," my lover's eyes begin to water again, "that's what she must have wanted in the end, for the two of us to live our lives to the fullest at the expense of her life."

"I remember what chaos said when MOMO's sisters died, he said something like 'their hearts and memories now exist within MOMO,' I believe that the same is with Miang and us, her heart and memories are now with us, so Miang is not dead as long as we live our lives for her sake."

"Elly..."

Her hand begins to pet at the seams of my tears, her touch as gentle and comforting as ever. I close my eyes and indulge in the warmth of her hand, the feeling bringing a soft smile to my lips. I feel the device inside my chest beginning to beat deeply, as if it were striking against my rib cage with all its might. My heart, yes, that's what it is, my heart. No, its our heart now.

"Elly," her hand stops at the source of the beats.

"We should head back now, don't you think?" I ask.

"Yeah, everyone must be getting worried now," she nods.

We return to the house soon after, finding the living room full of life as opposed to when we left. The moment I open the door, I find the young realian in the middle of the living room with a microphone in her hand and the melody of strings and a piano echoing from the music box. MOMO's voice comes to a stop the moment Shion and I walk through the door, although the sounds behind her voice continue to play.

"Um...sorry for running off so suddenly," Shion apologizes to everyone with a bow.

"Don't worry about it," Jin assures her as she takes her seat once more.

"...Jin, I owe you an apology," she gets to the point. "What I said before running off, I didn't mean..."

"It's all right, don't worry about it," he assures her again with his usual smile, "you were just angry and..."

"No, I really mean it, I'm sorry."

"Really, there's no need..."

"Just take my apology!" she begins to raise her voice.

"Forget it, just drop it!" he retorts by raising his own voice.

"I won't drop it!"

"Well I'm telling you...!"

"I guess they're okay with each other," I sigh.

"Hey KOS-MOS, why don't you sing?" the young realian tugs on my arm.

"Yeah, go for it," I look to the other side of the room to find Jr. cheering.

"Come on, Miss Android, give it a shot," Captain Matthews' compliments follow.

"Please, give it a try," I turn to the side to find chaos cheering for me as usual.

"I've never done this before," I admit to everyone while taking the microphone into my hand.

Something doesn't feel right. My entire body seems to be growing tight, my breath somewhat choking, my heart once again beating like crazy, and sweat beginning to drop from my brow. I look to the floor to find my legs trembling at the knees, I find it hard to stay on my two feet. Nervousness, that's probably what I'm feeling right now.

"...I think I'll pass," I try to hand the microphone back to the child.

"Please, Elly," I look back to Shion to see her argument with Jin finally over, "please sing."

I find the trembling of my body beginning to ease now. I take in another breath and let it escape my lungs and I find myself calm once more.

"All right, I guess I'll try it just this once."

"Okay ladies and gentlemen," Tony announces from the jukebox, "next up we have the lovely Miss Dynamite, the Cerulean-Haired Mistress of the Machine, the one, the only..."

"So what do I do exactly?" I interrupt him, unaware of how I'm supposed to do this.

"Just read the words off the screen in front of the monitor," Hammer instructs me, pointing to the TV on the far wall.

"Don't just read them off the screen, okay," MOMO tells me, "try to sing it."

"Sing?"

Come to think of it, I never did sing before. Isn't singing putting emotion into your words in some sort of rhythm? Up until a few days ago, I had been speaking in a monotone expression, and now I'm supposed to put all my emotions into words in a rhythmic fashion? This is going to be difficult.

"I think we got the perfect song for you," I look back to the jukebox as Tony chooses a record.

"Um...," I find my knees beginning to shake again.

"Elly, what are you going to sing?" Shion asks from the audience.

I turn back to the monitor at the end of the room and several words appear on screen.

"My Immortal, by Evanescence," I answer, reading the words on the TV.

At this moment I hear the sound of piano keys beginning to play from the nickelodeon. My body begins to grow tense once more as words begin to appear on the TV. My eyes begin to circle around the room to find the smiles of everyone else looking on. I take in another deep breath and try to calm my nerves once more, closing my eyes and letting the words flow from my mouth.

I'm so tired of being here   
Suppressed by all my childish fears 

I begin to hear the light rapping of the palms of everyone in the room. I open my eyes for a second and see the smiles of everyone widening. I feel a bit more at ease now seeing and hearing their support. A third breath enters my lungs and I bring the microphone toward my lips once more and continue.

And if you have to leave   
I wish that you would just leave   
'cause your presence still lingers here   
And it won't leave me alone 

A brush of warmth begins to fall upon my body now, flowing from within. It starts to burn from within my heart, but I feel it beginning to course through my veins. This warmth, it doesn't make me feel hot or sweat, but it causes my mind to feel more at ease. I allow this feeling to continue coursing through me as I bring the microphone to my lips again.

These wounds won't seem to heal   
This pain is just too real   
There's just too much that time cannot erase 

The color of violet begins to appear in my closed vision, collecting in the form of some sort of figure. The vibrant colors burn like fire, slowly disappearing into the air as they rise into the sky. More colors begin to appear within the purple haze; a grayish blue travels down halfway in the middle of the haze, followed by the colors of black. The haze slowly begins turning into a shape now, gloved arms begin to dangle at the top side parts of the haze and silver boots take form on the lower side parts of the outline. The blue begins to take the form of hair and soon I find myself looking at a familiar image.

'Miang?'

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears   
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears   
I held your hand through all of these years   
But you still have   
All of me 

The image of my sister now turns to face me, her face no longer wearing the monotone expression she normally wore, but instead wearing the final expression she had when I last saw her.

"Elly..."

Her smile, so warm and happy. How wide her smile is, stretching from ear to ear and her eyes, those beautiful sky blue eyes, I can see my reflection shimmering from them from afar. I find my legs suddenly pushing myself toward her, her figure growing closer and closer with every step. Her arms begins to reach for me now and I find the ground disappearing before my feet as my legs push all of my weight into the floor.

"Miang!"

The warmth of her body lays upon myself in the next moment. I find myself snuggling against the top of her breast, my cheek nestling against the beat of her heart. Her fingers slowly begin to travel down my hair and her breath coursing onto my brow and nose.

"Elly..."

You used to captivate me   
By your resonating life   
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind   
Your face it haunts   
My once pleasant dreams   
Your voice it chased away   
All the sanity in me 

The warmth around me begins to fade now, the cold winds now taking it's place. I feel my sister beginning to slip away from me and I try to wrap my arms around her more tightly. Colder and colder her figure becomes, thinner and thinner I feel her body becoming. My wrap tightens around her body once more, my entire body pressed against her skin.

"Don't go...," I beg in barely a whisper, "please, don't go."

These wounds won't seem to heal   
This pain is just too real   
There's just too much that time cannot erase 

I feel her arms starting to part from my body, her entire being now beginning to slip away from my grasp. No matter how I hard I try to pull her in, she continues to grow further and further apart. Her milky smooth skin starts to pass through my fingers now, the texture melting into vapor. Again I try to keep her from escaping my embrace, but now I find myself holding nothing and in the place of her body is the image of vapor.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears   
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears   
I held your hand through all of these years   
But you still have   
All of me 

'Miang...,' I find the tears once again coursing down my cheeks.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone   
But though you're still with me   
I've been alone all along 

"Do not cry, Elly," I hear her voice within my ears. "We are one once again. My hopes and dreams are with you once again. I had gotten my wish to become one once again, Elly, so please don't cry."

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears   
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears 

I held your hand through all of these years   
But you still have 

"To love and be loved," I feel her embrace glide down my cheek once more, "that is what we truly wanted back then. Through you, Elly, I can embrace and be embraced. We are one, Elly, bound to the flesh and soul. We are bound, my sister, bound to each other..."

All of me...

Me....

"Miang...," I place my hand over the warmth on my cheek.

I open my eyes in the present once more and find myself before the presence of Shion and the others once more. Silence has once again fallen upon the room and I slowly place the microphone down.

'I must've done something wrong,' I think to myself, 'why else aren't they...?'

A small clap begins to interrupt my thoughts and I raise my head from the floor. Another rapping of hands follows, followed by another until the entire room is engulfed in an applause. I find water once again falling from my eyes and down my face, but I feel my lips parting into a smile.

"That was beautiful, Elly!" Shion applauds.

"That was great," I turn to the other side of the room to hear Allen's compliment.

"Perfect, just perfect," chaos compliments.

"Oh man, that was just terr...oh what the hell, that was great!" Captain Matthews gives a normal compliment for once.

"You're quite the singer, Miss KOS-MOS," Jin tells me.

"Thank you, everyone," I close my eyes. "Thank you, Miang..."

* * *

The rest of the evening was followed by more singing, although I have to admit, many of the others weren't very good. Still, we all had fun mocking one another over our horrible singing skills, although no one seemed to mock me really. Throughout the celebrations, I would notice how Shion was always smiling at me, how she would ignore the others unless they talked to her. I don't know why, but I could tell why she was smiling at me; she was smiling because I had made her proud, as a daughter and as her lover. 

"Miang...," I look out the window of Shion's room to find a full moon mingling with the stars.

"We are one once again. My hopes and dreams are with you once again. I had gotten my wish to become one once again, Elly, so please don't cry. To love and be loved, that is what we truly wanted back then. Through you, Elly, I can finally embrace and be embraced. We are one, Elly, bound to the flesh and soul. We are bound, my sister, bound to each other..."

Her final words, or at least I want to believe they were her final words. So we are one once again, or so I would like to think. Are we truly one, does living with another's wishes and memories make that person a part of one's self?

A knock falls upon the door before I can contemplate on this further.

"Come in," I tell the person on the other side.

"Well that was a nice bath," Shion gives a sigh of relief as she enters through the door, a towel in her hand and hair with flannel pajamas covering her body. "Elly, do my pajamas fit you okay?"

I never had to wear articles of clothing such as this until now. I must say that it is quite comfortable, although kind of tacky looking. I suppose there's nothing wrong with a big button-downed shirt that covers my entire body and a pair of cotton pants to go with it, but the color pink doesn't seem to fit me, along with squiggly lines and hearts that are patterned on the breast pocket. Still, it's more comfortable and warm than my usual uniform.

"It's okay," I answer, not wanting to get into the details about its fashion.

"All right, that's good," she says as she takes a seat beside me on the bed. 

Just sitting next to Shion begins to put my mind at rest once more. I feel so comfortable just sitting her next to her, yet my spine begins to shiver in her presence and my breath short. I feel my throat becoming parched for some reason, taking a gulp of my own saliva does nothing to quench it. Perhaps its her pajamas that are making me feel this way, I haven't seen her dressed in something so simple yet cute. I don't care if it's the same clothing as mine, but the way it looks on her, it just...

"You were wonderful tonight," she changes the subject, breaking my observation of her perfect form.

"What?"

"When you were singing, your voice was beautiful," Shion explains, "you're a very good singer, Elly."

"Thank you," I smile. "Miang was there with me," I recall.

"Huh?"

"She was there while I sang," I continue. "When I closed my eyes, I saw her smiling at me. She took me into her embrace and told me not to cry, saying that we were one once more. Through me, she said, she can experience the ability to love and be loved. Is that even possible, Shion, for two people to become one if another's wishes is simply cast upon them?"

"I believe so," she answers without hesitation. "It's just like what you said about keeping a person's memory alive Elly, as long as you live for them, then they will always be a part of you."

"You're right."

"To love and be loved, that was Miang's wish," I find my lover's hand brushing my cheek, "now that her memory is a part of you, Elly, your emotions and actions are reflected from Miang."

"I know," I tell her, "there is something she wished to tell you, I know that she meant to tell it to you before she died but... In her place, as her new soul, memory, and self, will you allow me to tell it to you, Shion?"

"Yes, please, tell me."

"Mother, I love you."

"And I love you, Elly."

Her lips begin to fall upon mine at this moment, the warmth of her mouth leaving my entire body paralyzed. The two begin to bicker amongst each other, constantly pressing against one another and pulling on the other's skin. Her arms then begin to crawl onto my body, her hands falling upon my shoulders and pushing my body to the mattress. Her body lays atop of my own now, our true selves only an inch away from each other, hidden from view and contact from the thin pieces of flannel worn on our bodies. The battle between our lips continues, the presses they push onto one another as slow as ever. My entire body begins to shiver, my arms pulling her closer to calm its nerves. Her mouth begins to part from mine now in slow manner, leaving me hungry for more.

"Elly," she barely calls my name.

"Shion."

I can see my reflection in her emerald pupils, I can see how red my cheeks blush at this moment. I can see myself slowly panting for more breath, my entire body already covered in sweat and my pajamas clinging tightly to my skin. The fire inside me burns once more as her hand begins to glide down my cheek, caressing the left side of my face as gently as possible. I close my eyes again and indulge in the feel of her touch, creating a new brush of warmth with every inch her fingers stroke.

"Elly, I love you," she tells me in barely a whisper.

"And I love you, Shion..."

My lips begin to plant themselves upon hers once more and I feel my strength leaving my body. The cold air causes me to shiver, but the warmth of her lips is enough to keep my from submitting to the frozen breeze. My body begins to turn to the side and I find my body lying next to hers. I am not completely free from her embrace however as her left arm still wraps around my waist. I face her once more and find her eyes already closed and embracing the gift of slumber. I smile at the sight of her resting peacefully and I move my body closer to hers so that I may observe her grin more clearly. My eyelids begin to grow heavy with every second I observe her, and slowly but surely I let myself enter the black cave before the world of dreams.

* * *

The sound of birds chirping is the first thing I hear after leaving the world of dreams, the lullabies of finches pulling away the seals of my vision. I feel a mass of warmth already pressing against me, causing my body to rise with it. Where I lie, I feel so safe and comfortable lying here, I feel as if it is my sanctuary, where I can be alone with my thoughts and feelings. No, that's not true, I'm not alone where I lie, for this is her form, her heart I lie on. 

"Good morning, Elly," my lover greets me.

"Good morning, Shion," I return the greeting after a yawn.

I find her hands already drawn to my face, cupping my cheeks and pulling my face toward hers. Her tender yet warm hands lightly press against the sides of my face, gliding down them as our lips come closer. When they finally meet, I find my entire being beginning to melt once more, that melting feeling starting from my lips and then running through my veins. Her lips are so soft and delicate as I press against them, I fear that I may break them if I were to move them further. Yet she is the one who dares to move them, breaking from our kiss for a mere second and then planting them upon my mouth once more from a different angle. I indulge in the sampling nectar on the surface of her lips, but I wish to explore further. I try to move my tongue inward, but...

"Hey Shion, it's time for...ack!" I turn to the doorway to find Jin suddenly stumbling over.

The moment I see Shion's brother standing in the doorway, I quickly bury myself inside the warmth of the bed's sheets. My entire face seems to burn with embarrassment as I find my heart racing once more. I can't help but wrap my body with the sheets of the bed, ensuring that he take not another second to observe me.

"Jin, haven't you ever heard of knocking?!" Shion lectures. "The door's locked for a reason you know!"

"I... I dunno, the thought just never occurred to me," he stammers. "Oh God, my eyes have been soiled!"

"What are you getting upset with me for, you're the one who walked in on us?!"

"Well how was I supposed to know that the two of you were... this early in the morning?!" he retorts with another stutter in his voice.

"We were not doing that, we were...!"

"If not this morning, than last night!"

"That's none of your business, Jin!"

"I just happened to make it my business! Do you know what Mom and Dad would think if they were still alive and found out...?"

"You leave them out of this!"

"They're my parents too you know!"

"Oh God, just kill me...," I bury myself further into the sheets.

I lose track of the rest of the squabble between the siblings, trying to tune out by thinking of anything else besides their argument. It seems like an eternity before the two stop arguing and finally and I can come out of the bed's sheets.

"Sorry about that," Shion apologizes, "Jin can just be so inconsiderate at times."

"It's okay," I assure her, "at least he didn't come in last night, right Shion? Shion?" my lover suddenly turns beet red with her eyes lowering to the floor.

"...let's just get changed, okay," she tells me after a moment of silence.

We get dressed shortly after. Instead of choosing her Vector uniform, Shion chooses a different kind of apparel I haven't seen her in before. She takes a pair of khaki pants from her dresser that hug her hips, along with a red tank top to go with it. To complete the outfit, she adds a black jacket that has sleeves that cover the top half of her arms, but she leaves the jacket unzipped to show off her red top. I choose to go with a simpler uniform, choosing blue denim jeans and a white t-shirt with the number 70 etched along on the bust-line in red numbers and the logo "Miltian Outpost" behind the numbers. We walk downstairs to find everyone waiting; MOMO's in the kitchen placing what looks like toast and eggs on plates, Jr. and Ziggy are watching the television, the Elsa's crew (minus chaos) talking with one another at the dining table, and chaos and Jin talking with one another.

"Breakfast is ready, everyone!" the young realian tells everyone.

"Thanks for cooking, MOMO," the Durandal's captain thanks her as he takes one of the plates.

"You're welcome," she replies.

"This is good," the silver-haired boy compliments her as he takes a fork full of egg into his mouth, "you're an excellent chef, MOMO."

"I'm not that good, Shion's a lot better than I am."

Everyone including myself takes a plate of their own and finds a seat somewhere within the first floor. Shion finds herself a seat on the counter close to the kitchen's entrance and I decide to take a seat between her and Jr. I take the piece of bread into my mouth for a second and take a bite out of it. It tastes rather plain if not for the butter on it, but still, it's better than Jin's wheat cereal.

"So how is it?" MOMO asks from two seats down from Jr.'s direction.

"It's good," I find myself inclined to lie.

"How about something to drink?" Jr. passes a drink to me.

I take the plastic cup into my hands for a moment, taking time to look at the translucent liquid. A slight chill passes onto my fingers as I hold the cup, but it's not cold enough to freeze them further. I closer into the drink held within, finding small bubbles clinging to the sides and some floating to the top where they pop and fizz for a moment. I bring the liquid closer to my lips and a faint smell of citrus enters my nose. I bring my lips to the drink, the bubbles tingling against my lips the moment they touch the liquid. I ignore the tiny burns and sip the drink further, the cold liquid sinking into my mouth and into my throat. The sour taste of lemon and lime is barely apparent as I gulp the contents, but for some reason I find it enjoyable. More and more of the liquid sinks down my mouth and throat until the contents of my cup are empty.

"Well, how was it?" chaos asks from the seat next to Shion.

"I liked it," I answer, "may I have some more?"

The silver-haired boy takes my cup and fills it again with a liter bottle of the citrus soda. Strange, that's the very same drink the others attempted to give me about week ago, the day before I jumped off the Elsa. Yes, that's right, I remember, they invited me to join them for breakfast but I had refused them. Come to think of it, I really have changed a lot compared to what I was like a week ago. It's strange to realize how much I've changed so much in so little time. I guess I have Shion and Miang to thank for that.

"Here you go," chaos returns the drink before me.

"Thank you," I take the glass into my hand again.

After breakfast, we all once again return to the beach like yesterday. Again I find everyone including myself wearing undergarment-like clothing for the occasion (well maybe not Allen, he once again wears the hilarious-looking outfit that covers most of his body). Once we arrive, everyone returns to their duty from yesterday. The children, along with chaos, play with that inflatable ball, Jin is out fishing on the dock while Shion tries to help him, and new to the group is Ziggy and the rest of the Elsa's crew who sit in one corner and talk with one another. I don't find myself with any of these groups, instead I look out into the ocean and find myself locked in my thoughts.

"'To love and be loved,'" I find myself once again recalling Miang's words, "to be in the companionship of others and welcomed in their arms. All of us that have these things take them for granted."

At that moment I feel a small force pushing against my shoulder, but it only lasts for a second. I turn to where the device had fallen and find the ball the children were playing with at my feet. I take it into my hands and look back to where MOMO and Jr. are. I find the young realian running toward me, finding her standing before me in seconds.

"Thanks," the child smiles as I return the ball to her.

"You're welcome," I return the smile.

"Hey KOS-MOS, do you wanna play too?" she then asks me.

"Okay," I answer.

The next thing I know I'm also hitting the ball around with the children. I can't help but smile the entire time as I strike at the ball in the direction of either of the kids' or chaos's paths.

"Got it!" Jr. calls before he hits the ball toward me.

"Got it!" I say as I hit the ball towards MOMO.

I look to the other side of the beach to find Shion watching Jin still trying to catch a fish. She seems rather bored as she sits there watching her brother's failed attempts, sighing once nearly every ten seconds.

"Shion," I call her at the top of my lungs, "do you want to play with us?"

"All right, sure!" she calls back with a smile on her face.

"Hey wait Shion, I think I got something!" Jin tells his sister as his fishing pole begins to tug.

"Oh give it up, Jin!" Shion tells him as she gives his back a slight push.

The moment Shion pushes him, Jin begins to stagger forward, one foot slipping off the edge of the dock and the rest of his body falling forward in the next. His entire body plummets into the ocean after, fishing pole and all. The others and myself can't start laughing as soon as Jin emerges from the ocean, his clothing and body soaked and pieces of seaweed hanging from his hair. Friendship, truly something I can no longer live without.

We spent the rest of the day at the beach until it was time for dinner. Jin wasn't able to catch any fish that day because he lost his fishing pole when Shion pushed him into the ocean. Luckily we had ingredients to make Shion's special curry for dinner, so we were able to get a good meal. There was karaoke again after we ate, everyone had a turn to to sing this time. It was pretty cute to see MOMO singing a song with Ziggy, it's amazing how she's able to get him to do things he's usually not comfortable with. When it was Allen's turn to sing however, I had to contain myself from laughing when he tried to sing Elvis's "Jailhouse Rock."

Now that that's all over, I once again find myself in Shion's bed with my lover resting at my side. Both of our eyes linger toward the ceiling as we reflect on our day. Such joy and laughter I felt today, and it wasn't with just Shion alone. For once I was smiling for an entire day, not worrying about anything else. I'm sure Miang would have loved to have had a day like this, a day dedicated only to having fun with friends. I just feel really happy right now, lying here right this after living through such a wonderful day. Another thought crosses my mind though. My mission from HQ, I had forgotten all about it this past week, and I had especially forgotten it today.

"Is something wrong, Elly?" I turn to my side to find my lover.

"My mission from HQ," I answer, "I had forgotten all about it these past few days."

"Do you really need to remember it now," Shion asks, "do you really have to worry about your work when you're having fun?"

"What?"

"I thought a lot like that too not too long ago," Shion recalls, "I was always thinking about work when I was supposed to be having vacation. I missed out on a lot of opportunities I could've been happy because I kept thinking about work."

"So what made you stop thinking like that?"

"You, Elly, it was you," she smiles, snuggling against my shoulder. "Life is but a grace period, Elly, so live it to its fullest when you can."

"Yeah," I nod.

My eyes meet with hers at this moment and our lips begin to move forward. For a second they press against each other, just long enough for either of us to get a good taste of the ambrosia within. Her head falls upon my shoulder again at this moment and her arms wrap around my waist. My hand begins to brush several strands of her hair, slowly running through the amber brown until it stops at her shoulder. I press my palm against it and pull her in closer, bringing her forehead to my lips. I look back to her face now and find her sleeping soundly, her breathing tickling against my skin and her heart beating against my body. I smile at the sight of her form and I begin to close my eyes.

I feel the darkness slowly beginning to engulf me, my eyes now shut and my breathing beginning to grow slow. The evening breeze enters through the window, but it causes neither of us to shiver. A small brush of warmth then crawls down my cheek at this moment, as if fingers were gliding across it. I feel a weight softly pushing against my body now and the breath of another beating upon my lips. For a second they meet with the mouth of another, filling my being with another touch of warmth. Their face then meets with my own at this moment as I feel the side of one's face on my cheek, barely rubbing against it. A drop of water then crawls down the cheek of my mysterious visitor, gliding down the crevice between our faces.

"Goodbye...," she whispers.

Slowly the weight pressing against my body begins to disappear and my body begins to grow cold. Her fingers glide down my face once more, my body practically dragging itself with the hand as it does so. The moment the fingers meet with my chin I feel my entire being frozen once more and the evening breeze blowing as cool as ever. The breeze begins to settle now, my body sinking further into the comfort of the mattress and embrace of my lover. I find my entire being beginning to relax now, as if my self is being absorbed into the environment. Even though my mysterious visitor has left me and the cold winds have removed the trails of warmth of her fingers, the fire of her soul still remains in my heart. Water begins to drip from the gaps between my eyes and their seals, and yet there is a smile perched upon my lips. A part of me is sad that she is gone, but another part of me is proud that her memory will always be with me.

"Goodbye, Miang..."

Author's Note: Well, that's the end of "Bound," I hope you all enjoyed this fic, I enjoyed writing. The purpose of this chapter was basically to show how Elly changed from the beginning of the story, how she is now able to express herself more openly compared to how she was emotionless and whatnot in the game and beginning of the story. The ending was pretty hard to make, and it was hard for me to pull off, I just had to think of a way to have Elly say farewell to Miang. Elly and Shion's story isn't over yet, because there will be a sequel to "Bound," titled "Mother." "Mother" will be an AU of Xenosaga Episode 2, and will roughly connect Xenosaga with Xenogears. Unlike "Warm" and "Bound," "Mother" will be told in multiple POV's, not just Elly's or Shion's. Below is a preview of "Mother," told in Shion's POV. The preview is a mere rough draft, so many details and whatnot are missing, and the final product will probably be different. Well for now, enjoy!

* * *

(Shion's POV)

Vector Industries, Second R & D Division, after spending three days at home, Elly, Allen, and I have finally come back here. We had just gotten word yesterday from HQ to bring Elly here to receive her secondary equipment, but there's a problem with that. Elly is no longer the same android Allen, myself, and the rest of my staff, created several months ago, she's a living breathing human being. The company still doesn't know this, and before I could report this to the director, our communications were cut off. It looks like his patience for me delivering Elly has run short, probably because he found out that I was on Second Miltia all this time and I hadn't reported to Vector.

A hand wraps around my own at this moment, and I turn to its owner. She gives me a smile for reassurance, but her cerulean blue eyes tell me a different story. I can see the worry behind her mask of happiness, she's not sure what's going to happen. Looking into her eyes also worries me, but I try not to show her this and give her a smile of my own.

"I'll be all right, Shion," she tries to assure me, "I'm sure if we were to explain what happened these last few days the company will reconsider taking me back."

"You're right, Elly," I tell her, trying my best to lie, "the director's a patient and understanding man, I'm sure he'll understand why I can't turn you over to the Second R & D Division."

What I liar I am, even if I were to explain to him what had happened these last few days, would he even believe my story. The story about Elly's dormant sister, Miang, resurfacing after all these years and trying to take over her body would sound ridiculous to most people. Although it was also because of Miang that Elly became who she is today, and I am grateful for that, but I do disapprove of the method she used to do that. Miang, my first daughter, if only I had shown her I cared back then, maybe if I did that Elly wouldn't have gone through all that torture these past few days. But then, if I did that, then Elly wouldn't have been born, well not born in the sense she is now.

"Shion, are you all right?" Jin's voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

Jin decided to accompany us on this trip, after all he does need to go out into the city every once and a while so he can get some groceries and whatnot. Besides, he also does volunteer work at one of the orphanages, which he joined him for about an hour ago.

"I'm all right, thanks," I answer.

"Are you sure, Chief," Allen asks, "you've got that look in your eyes again, the one that says 'something's not going to work out the way it's supposed to be.'"

"He's right, Shion," Elly adds, "the way you tried to reassure me seconds ago didn't sound too convincing, are you really worried that..."

"Of course I'm worried!" I practically yell, stopping everyone in their footsteps. "I mean, I don't want to turn you over to the Second R & D Division, Elly, not after what happened these last few days. I can't just turn..."

"You're late, Ms. Uzuki."

That voice, that's not the director's voice, but it sounds familiar. I look before me now and find a well dressed gentleman in black, his eyes a red-brown shade, but his hair is as white as a ghost. His hair's bangs are separated into two strands that can easily cover his eyes, both of these strands rather curled while the rest of his hair is cut neatly, not one strand going past his skull. His skin is nearly as pale as his hair, and his figure is rather short and flail. His appearance and demeanor reminds me of someone, but who? chaos? No wait, I do recognize this man, this is...

"M...M...Mr. Wilhelm, CEO of Vector Industries, what are you doing here?" Allen stammers.

"Sir Wilhelm?!" I quickly realize. "Oh my gosh, it's quite an honor to meet you, sir!" I quickly bow.

"No, the honor is quite mine," he says calmly. "Please, there is no need to be formal with me, Ms. Uzuki, Mr. Ridgelly. Hm, so you're KOS-MOS, correct?" he quickly turns his attention to Elly.

"That's right," Elly nods, "that's what many people call me."

"You have not communicated with us for several days now, do you have an explanation for that?" the gentleman asks.

"Er..., well, you see...," the blue-haired angel begins to stammer.

"Ms. Uzuki, is this really the KOS-MOS unit you've been working on for nearly two years now?" Mr. Wilhelm asks, a slight hint of frustration in his voice. "The last time I checked, I thought KOS-MOS wasn't supposed to have an emotions module that mimicked nervousness. This individual seems just like a normal girl."

"Well, there is an explanation for that, but...," I try to explain.

"Sir!" I turn around to find another individual.

I find a woman now standing before us dressed in a security uniform, her entire clothing a dull gray color. The color of her skin is a milky white color, and she wears no make up on her face. She wears a hat with the Vector Industries logo on it, at the bill of the hat covers the image of her pupils. I cannot see the color of her hair either, all of it seems to be collected within the cap. I feel my body slightly shiver from her presence, but another part of me feels rather relaxed. She begins to walk forward now, her eyes never lingering toward myself, Jin or Allen. For a moment she stops though, stopping for a few moments to look at Elly. Elly keeps her eyes on the floor as this woman observes her, every once and a while taking a split second or two to look at the woman's face.

"I'm guessing that this is the new weapon that will combat the Gnosis?" the security guard asks as she turns to Mr. Wilhelm.

"That's what Ms. Uzuki claims at least," Wilhelm answers.

"You look just like an ordinary girl to me," the woman tells Elly.

"But this is KOS-MOS, it's just that in the past few days...," I try to explain again.

"No need for an explanation," Mr. Wilhelm stops me once more. "If you say that this woman truly is KOS-MOS, than I shall take your word for it. Guards!" his fingers snap.

Two more security guards arrive at this moment, rushing to Mr. Wilhelm's side.

"Take this blue-haired woman to the main lab please," he orders.

"What?!"

"Stop it!" Elly tries to order the guards as they take her arms. "Let me go! Shion!"

My eyes widen at the sight of the men dragging my love away from me, the liquid within beginning to crawl down my face. I feel my teeth beginning to grind against each other now, my fingers balling into fists, and frustration building up within me. There's no way I'm going to let them take Elly away from me so easily!

"Elly!" I try to chase after her.

"Chief, stop it," Allen takes a hold of my arm.

"Let me go, Allen!" I order him. "I can't just let them take Elly!"

"But Chief, no matter how you look at it, we..."

"Elly!" I manage to escape Allen's grasp.

I try to run past Mr. Wilhelm as they take Elly away, but the female security guard blocks my path. I try to run past her just like Allen and Mr. Wilhelm, but she takes a hold of my shoulder and pushes me back.

"Stop it, you can't just take Elly away from me!" I spit.

"Restrain yourself otherwise I will be forced to take drastic action," the security guard orders me.

"Please, Ms. Uzuki, I don't want to have any harm come to you, so please calm down and..."

"Elly!" I try to push the woman out of my way.

I am able to move her out of my way and find myself rushing toward Elly as fast as I can. A sharp pain suddenly enters the back of my head now, my hair being tugged back by the woman I had tried to run past. I turn around now and step back toward the woman to relieve the stress from my hair, but I do not back down from my chase. I bring my knee upward at the first opportunity I can, striking at the abdomen of my captor. She hunches forward from the impact of the blow and he hold on my hair now loosens. My other leg then rises after, my foot striking against the chin of the woman and sending her to the floor. I take no time to see if I had hurt her badly or not and return to chasing after Elly.

"Elly!" I scream.

The woman I had just sent to the floor already returns to her feet and blocks my path once more. I bring my elbow to her jaw this time, but it does nothing but push her head back for a mere second. I try to bring my other fist to her face this time, but this time the crook of her arm catches my attack. Before I can react, I suddenly find a force exerting on my sternum and my body suddenly being pushed back all the way where Allen and Jin stand. My back strikes against the metal floor in a mere second and I find myself already staring at the building's ceiling.

"SHION!!!!!" I hear my lover scream.

"Chief, are you all right?" Allen quickly rushes to my aid.

"Why you!" Jin begins to draw his sword.

"Elly, hold on!" I push Allen out of my way again, staggering back to my feet.

"Don't try anything else," the woman reaches for the pistol on her belt.

"That's enough!" Mr. Wilhelm orders. "Ms. Uzuki, whether you like it or not, we are taking KOS-MOS out of your custody! As a result of your misbehavior and inability to follow orders, you are hereby suspended without pay from Vector Industries for six months! Good day," he begins to turn away.

"You can fire me for all I care, just return Elly to me right now!" I yell.

"Ms. Hawwa, if Ms. Uzuki is to try anything else, you have permission to kill her," Mr. Wilhelm tells her before starting to walk off.

"Understood, sir," the woman nods.

"Wait!" I try to chase after Elly once more but the guard stops me once more.

"Please don't do anything else," she tries to ask me politely for once, "I don't want any harm to come to you."

"You tell me that after you punched me to the ground?!" I seethe.

"Please, Shion," she tells me in a somewhat pleading tone, "I don't want anymore harm to come to you."

Part of me begins to calm down now for some reason. For some reason I feel obligated to obey this woman, not out of fear, but for some other reason I can't describe. The events that just happened begin to take their toll on me now and I begin to stop my pursuit now the tears once again crawling down my face as rapid as ever. I find my fists beginning to pound against the guard's chest and shoulders, but she does nothing but let me strike at her. Cries and whimpers escape my lips, and I know I can't do anything to stop them from taking Elly away. Arms then begins to wrap around my waist now and a cheek begins to brush against my own. This woman, why is she holding me like this. I feel obligated to strike her, but something else is stopping me from doing so.

"I'm sorry, Shion," she apologizes, "I truly am sorry about everything."

Author's Note: Well that's a small preview of one of the beginning chapters of "Mother," this fic will be much more action-oriented than "Warm" and "Bound." So "Bound" is finished now, and I hope you've all enjoyed reading this fic, and I hope you all look forward to "Mother." Reviews are welcome, and as usual, no flames or anything like that. Oh, if you wanted the lemon version of this chapter, go ahead and try to IM me or e-mail me for it at lgamarkyahoo.com since shoujoai.com is currently not updating their fics. Well I guess that's it for now, I hope to see you all in "Mother," later people!


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